How to show up as your authentic self in life and business

How to show up as your authentic self in life and business

I can share with you How to show up as your authentic self in life and business because I do it! Sometimes we don’t connect the dots between ourselves and our businesses but I think it’s catching on, because I am seeing a lot of business people talking about mindset.

I’ve been following Judith Morgan’s blog fest with interest because I love reading blogs for starters (nearly as much as I love writing them!) but more than that, I love hearing people’s stories. These blogs are really people’s business stories and It all ties in with her new book called Your Biz Your Way which is about doing YOUR business YOUR way. And you can find Judith’s blog here. Now I’m all about living life your way so this sits well with me!

Treat this like this is your life

Change Your Life Academy

 

I remember someone saying to me in my Corporate job ‘Treat this like it was your business’. That excited me so much because even in a big corporation there were people that realised if you give people trust and ownership, they will be more inspired and driven. That little comment made a great big difference to my teams’ results. It was me being my authentic self in that role.

I think that ‘Treat this like this is your business’ could translate more broadly into ‘Treat this like this is your life’ and that is something I certainly live by. So many people wait to be ‘done to’ but often you have to make your life happen on purpose. You have more power as your authentic self.

Got no money; make some. Got no friends; Find some. Hate your job? The list goes on. You can change most things in your life. If you want to. Believing this is the first step. The opportunities are abundant in 2018 and we are truly blessed.

This can be a bit of a mindset shift and in my therapy business I help a lot of people with mindset shifts! But get your head in the game and this really is YOUR LIFE and you will feel like you have more options. More power and therefore more happiness.

My life fundamentals

I have some fundamentals that I live my life as my authentic self and things are not much different in my business. Let me share these with you now:

Use energy wisely

I am fully aware of my energy levels. When they are high I harness them and flourish and when they are low, I replenish. I try to never go overdrawn because when I am depleted I cannot give my best self to life, family, friends and clients

I don’t waste my energy on arguments, gossip, comparison or anything that brings negative energy into my ‘field’.

I replenish mostly in nature, walking and being around tress or the sea.

Laugh often

It is said that children laugh around 300 times a day and adults just 17. I look for laughter at every opportunity because it feels good! And bring laughter into my therapy practice because it’s as excellent way to access the unconscious and change how something feels.

Do things that bring you joy

I know myself well. I could write an exact list right now of things that bring me joy. If I ever feel myself creeping away from joy I act quick and get it back. This is a life skill in my view.

Things that bring you joy don’t have to be big or expensive, they just need to bring you joy.

In my therapy business I get joy from working at a deep level with clients. I help them find themselves and find their own joy too.

Explore

When I travel I really go for it. Get involved in the culture, see all there is to see, eat the local food, go where the locals go and find out about their cultures and traditions.

I explore in my business too. Mostly training in new therapies because I seek out the best trainers Worldwide. But in a broader sense trying new things with clients to best help them.

Live truly

I don’t do gimmicks, I don’t endorse people I don’t trust or believe in and I always bring my true self to the table/day/session. These criteria are true to authentic self. I love values because they form our identity and it’s a big piece of the work I do in my signature package (if you are curious about what that is please do ask me). When we align to our true values people get the best of us and it’s funny how the right things come to us.

I see being my authentic self as a hugely important part of being a therapist. My energy will flow in a way that shows people my intentions are to help them the best I can. Trust and rapport are part of a good Hypnosis session.

If I give my true self, it creates an energetic circuit where my client can be open about what they want to change and achieve the best possible results.

Share knowledge

If you are a Facebook friend of mine you will know that I share knowledge freely. I believe if we all share knowledge, the world is a better place because we all know more. It’s also a great chance for discussion.

I share knowledge freely as a therapist. I don’t hold things back for ‘the next session’, if I think it benefits the client, I share it or use it there and then. Best outcomes are my mission!

Focus on your strengths

No one asks Tiger Woods to excel at basketball do they? He is really good at golf so he plays that, wins, feels great, earns good money and thrills his fans. Why on earth would he focus on other sports that he isn’t good at? Unless he wanted to learn new things or he enjoyed doing them of course.

We spend too much time thinking about the things we aren’t good at when I believe we should nurture and grow the things we are good at. I also believe we all have a gift/gifts. You’ve just got to find yours.

Know WHO you are, not WHAT you are

 No one is Youer than You

I often ask clients ‘Who are you’? And they answer with things like mum, wife, dad, husband, sister, brother, lawyer, teacher, entrepreneur, fitness addict or whatever. Usually a role, job or hobby.

And then we do what I call ‘work of the self’, where we uncover the parts of them they may have overlooked or forgotten. When we uncover their real ‘who’ it feels exciting. Like a new toy to be played with!

Just so you know, I am an explorer 🙂

 

Everything flows when you are your authentic self

This was a very easy post to write. It flowed from the heart and isn’t it great how easy things are when we are just our true selves. I believe when we live our truth, we do our best work.

I would love to hear what you think of how finding yourself links to having a better business and if you want to hear more from me, please come and follow me on Facebook and Instagram

Until next time.

Honey

x

You need to stop doing these 3 things if you want better sleep

You need to stop doing these 3 things if you want better sleep

 

How good is your sleep recently? There seems to be an epidemic of bad sleep going round! Many of my clients report poor sleep as an issue.

A lack of sleep can affect:

  • Your memory
  • Your immune system
  • Your cardiovascular system
  • Your chances of getting dementia in later life
  • Your fertility

 

If you’re someone who doesn’t find getting to sleep at night easy, you’re not alone – insomnia is one of the UK’s biggest googled health worries. 

I believe that sleep is one of the cornerstones of health and wellbeing. Even one or two nights of poor sleep can really make you feel low, agitated and sluggish.

So often people focus on what they should be doing and they aim to do it perfectly This can causes stress in itself. So, for this blog I thought I would reverse it and focus on the three main things that you could not do that would make the biggest difference to your sleep.

The three things are simply:

  • Stop shallow breathing. Try some diaphragmatic breathing which is amazing for deeply relaxing
  • Try not to use anything digital in the hour before bed as it stimulates your brain
  • Don’t go to bed at random times. Stick to a sleep schedule. Go to bed and get up at the same time each day when possible


Let’s look at them one by one.

1 – Stop shallow breathing

woman deep breathing

Just take a moment now and notice how you are breathing. Is your breath high in your chest or from low? Are your breathes shallow or deep? Fast or slow? Are you breathing through your nose or your mouth? We mostly take the breath for granted. It is taken care of by our unconscious mind which operates our breathing and all the systems and organs in the body to keep us alive. But you can really relax by breathing in a different way and although there are many techniques and even classes for breathing, diaphragmatic breathing is a good one to master because it really relaxes your and puts you in control. Many of my clients I help with anxiety and stress find it very beneficial and it’s a great one to do in bed to prepare for sleep.

 

2 – Try not to use anything digital in the hour before bed

Now without getting all scientific here about the reward receptors in your brain and how they love a bit of Facebook and Instagram, think about this for a moment. You are looking at a bright screen, your eyes are focused on small items and words and you might be toggling between apps, internet, text and calls. Does that sound like a peaceful bedtime wind down time?! I think not. I actually read yesterday that our brains don’t know the difference between work emails and personal emails, Your brain jumps into ‘work’ mode whenever it sees an email and this creates cortisol (a stress hormone) in your body. Not what you want at bedtime. So stay away from the Digital gadgets at bedtime and choose a more soothing and relaxing wind down activity. You will absolutely notice a difference.

 

3 – Don’t go to bed at random times

We are creatures of habit really. We do well with routines and we have to sleep every night so might as well try and make it a routine that your body will like. We put children to bed at the same time each night mostly but not ourselves? Your body will love a routine for sleep, just as it loves regular mealtimes. It knows what to expect and can manage its energy accordingly.


Because sleep is so important to your health and maybe an issue for you, you might like to try the things on this list and let me know which is your favourite. Or maybe you have a ‘stop doing’ tip of your own that you can share in the comments of this blog? We would love to hear it, you might help someone sleep better tonight.  

 

Sign up for my free Wellbeing Challenge to have better sleep, more energy and feel more relaxed

If you want more sleep advice, sign up for my free 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge which focuses on helping you feel great by looking at your 5 ‘pillars’ of Wellness:
•Sleep
•Hydration
•Nutrition
•Exercise
•Relaxation

 

 

30 days to a happier you – Day 8 – You have the power of arrest

30 days to a happier you – Day 8 – You have the power of arrest

mind powerYour mind power is the most powerful thing you own.

In fact so powerful, you even have two! The conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind helps you operate in the ‘now’ and makes rationale decisions. The subconscious operates at a deeper level and looks to protect us in all we do. You can read more about your two minds here

You’ve got more rabbit than Sainsburys!

On Day 2 we started to look at mind chatter. Many of my clients spend more than 50% of their day thinking negatively or hearing negative mind chatter. If you watched sad films for that amount of time, they would probably lower your mood. But the good news is, if you spent the same amount of time watching positive films this would no doubt lift your mood.

Now this isn’t saying you shouldn’t watch sad films or feel negative emotions because we are human beings. We need to feel the whole range of emotions to have a complete human experience. This is about being aware that when a negative thought comes into our mind, it may not be the truth and maybe we shouldn’t spend time dwelling on it or believing it if it makes us feel bad.

Negative thoughts are like criminals in your mind

Say you lost your job. This is a serious life affecting event and can have a huge effect on people. Now say you spent much of your time thinking about:

  • ‘I should have worked harder’
  • ‘Why didn’t I take that course so I would be better’
  • ‘I’m no good’
  • ‘I’m unpopular’
  • ‘Why me’
  • ‘I’m not clever’
  • ‘I’ll never get another job’

These thoughts are like criminals in your mind.

You might spend a few hours a day thinking about these things. These thoughts may run concurrently in your mind and feel like a cloud around your head, stifling you. When your friends and family are talking to you, you might not be listening to what they are saying because you are so wrapped up in what you are thinking. You can’t really read or watch TV properly because you are thinking about the ‘bad stuff’. It starts affecting your sleep. You lose enthusiasm for things you used to enjoy. All because of these thoughts. These thoughts are affecting your enjoyment of life, your relationships and opportunities. You might find it harder to get another job because your self-esteem is low and everything becomes much more difficult.

You need mind COP ne naw ne naw

Mind COP is a good COP. He (or she!) is there, patrolling in your head, looking out for negative thoughts and helping you to; Catch them. Own them. Protect yourself.

Tomorrow I will be showing you mind how COP will protect you against those criminal negative thoughts in your mind. And yes, you really do have the power of arrest (in real life, it’s a citizens arrest ). We will look at how mind COP will help you make arrests and bang the baddies to rights.

Now all this talk about mind COP and criminal negative thoughts is using our imagination. This is the beauty of the mind. It’s imaginative (which is a problem when it creates negative thoughts, phobias and anxiety) but wonderful when it creates excitement, possibility and power.

So let’s imagine mind COP now…. close your eyes (but read this first!). Can you see mind COP? What can you see? Does mind COP have a voice? A uniform? A face? How big is mind COP? How will mind COP help you?

You create your own thoughts you see. With your amazing, powerful, imaginative mind.

Here’s the plan:

  • Keep noting your mind chatter in your notebook
  • Read your gratitude list often
  • Come back tomorrow and I will show you Mind COP in action catching those criminals and keeping your mind safe

Happy hug 🙂

Honey

30 days to a happier you – Day 7 – 1 week complete

30 days to a happier you – Day 7 – 1 week complete

week-one-doneCongratulations

You’ve completed your first week of 30 days to a happier you. I wonder what you’ve noticed about your thoughts and the feelings they generate? And maybe you feel that you have a lot more control over your happiness than you think…..

 

 

 

 

 

You are the owner of your happiness

Here’s a reminder of what you’ve been up to over the past week in your mission to be a happier you.

Day 1 – you gave yourself a current happiness score out of 10 to see how happy you currently are.

Day 2 – you started to catch negative mind chatter going on in your head and made a note of it in your notebook.

Day 3 – you tried to make friends with your mind.

Day 4 – you became a mind COP by realising how much time you spend thinking negatively. You are now  focused on catching those negative thoughts as they come in, owning the thought and protect yourself by realising it might not be true.

Day 5 – you did the shake N vac and  started to freshen your mind with gratitude.

Day 6 – you wrote a really good gratitude list that means something to you.

Wow, what a great start! Well done you 🙂

Why wait any longer to be a happier you?

don;t postpone happiness

If you haven’t done all the exercises, or you have just found this blog series, no problem! It is never too late to start.

Just go back on the blogs and pick up from there. You just need  a notebook and pen, to read my blogs each day and dedicate a small amount of time each day to do the exercises. This is not meant to be another thing on your ‘to do list’. It is raising your awareness to things that affect your happiness and helping you train your brain to be happier.

 

 

You are not alone

If you are finding this difficult to do on your own, no problem, because I can help you. I offer 4 session packages in person in West Sussex or on Skype round the world! In 4 sessions people have significiant insights and shifts. If you  have an electrical problem, you call an electrician. You probably don’t service your own car. And I doubt you do your own dental check up or eye test!

So if you need help with your mind or issues that you can’t solve alone, seek the help of a professional. Your mental health is a critical part of your wellbeing. 1 in 3 adults will have a mental health issue at some point in their lives and there is lots of help available.

Here’s the plan:

  • Refresh yourself on anything you’ve missed
  • Come back tomorrow

Happy hug 🙂

Honey

If you fancy blogging and a bit of a challenge, there is no better place to be than Sarah Arrow’s blogging challenge

30 days to a happier you – Day 6 – A good gratitude list

30 days to a happier you – Day 6 – A good gratitude list

gratitude-barry-neil-kaufman-quotes-sayings-pictures

Gratitude lists are talked about a lot now. But rarely are we shown how to write a meaningful one that works.

A gratitude list is a powerful thing. If you capture the things that you are grateful for and they have real meaning to you, it can help you build happiness and can be a source of comfort in difficult times.

 

 

 

 

 

Have a go right now!

It helps if your list has a good variety of things and you understand why you are grateful for what you have written. A bit like ‘I’m grateful for x because it means ‘y’. You might need a few goes before you get the finished article, but along the way you are thinking in a grateful way and a positive way. This is great because you are looking on the world as a good place.  And the even better news is when you look for the good, it lifts you and then you see and feel better. When you have a gratitude list you are happy with, don’t stick it in a cupboard. It’s a living document with a purpose. Stick in somewhere you can see it. Carry a pretty copy on you or in the car. Have it on your phone/computer/hairdryer/xbox.

So what makes a good gratitude list?

gratitude list

 

 

 

 

 

Many people find it hard to write a gratitude list. Here are some examples to help you on your way:

  • Clean water available everywhere I go. Water is the most beneficial drink for my mind and body and quenches my thirst.
  • For being able to read so I can enjoy stories and information abundantly
  • For the sun shining on my face and making me feel good
  • For the rain that cleanses the earth and nourishes the plants and crops
  • The kindness of people and the kindness they show me
  • Trees for giving us oxygen
  • Wind for flying kites and wind farms
  • My sense of humour for seeing the funny side in most things
  • My honesty which makes me a trusted person
  • My baking skills which helps me make lovely things for people
  • Air for every wonderful breath
  • Sleep for renewing my body and making me feel rested and ready for the day
  • Chickens for laying eggs which make many nutritious meals
  • Colours which light up my life and give me pleasure
  • Light for bringing different dimensions to all I see
  • The sea where I can swim, play and fish
  • Animals for their cuteness, their comedy and their companionship
  • My wobbly tummy for giving me babies
  • Teachers of all sorts of lessons which have helped me grow, think differently and exercise in different ways
  • Music for giving my ears pleasure and firing my emotions
  • Food for the pleasure it gives and the nourishment it provides
  • Campfires for their feeling of freedom and wilderness and not forgetting smores
  • Touch so I feel my loved ones skin and stroke their hair
  • Freezer for making ice cubes and my kettle for making cups of tea
  • Yeast for making dough rise for bread
  • My voice so I can read stories to my children and make people laugh
  • My ears which let me hear the tone in someone’s voice which tells me how they feel and the waves crashing on the beach
  • My nose to smell flowers and perfume and also smells to avoid
  • My courage that gets me through difficult times

If you are stuck at what to put on your gratitude list consider nature, animals, the human body or people.

The highest level of gratitude is the gratitude for existence itself.

A negative can make a positive

ebay_logoYou can get things for your gratitude list from negative situations. This is called ‘reframing’. Basically finding the positive in a negative situation. Ebay do it beautifully when they say ‘you’ve won’ the item when you’ve bought it! But ‘winning’ is a feel good word.

 

 

You can find gratitude in most ‘life lessons’ for example if you don’t like someone’s behaviour, you can be grateful that you know how to behave better or that you have the freedom to not be around them.

What’s interesting about gratitude is that it is not about comparing yourself to those less fortunate. People often fall into this trap. We will come to comparing to others in a later blog. It won’t make you feel better to have something that someone else doesn’t have. Gratitude is about noticing and being grateful for things yourself.

Here’s the plan

  • Continue to catch your negative mind chatter – are you noticing a key theme or time it occurs yet?
  • Continue to acknowledge that when a thought comes in, it may not be true 🙂
  • Become a mind COP. Catch it, own it, protect yourself.
  • Do the shake and vac and put the freshness back by making an awesome gratitude list

Work with me

I’m a Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner that specializes in helping people ‘reset’ in difficult times. We will work through confusion and find confidence and joy in your life. You can email me with any questions or for a free 20 minute consultation. I am on Facebook which I’m very grateful for obvs!

Happy hug 🙂

Honey

 

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