I can share with you How to show up as your authentic self in life and business because I do it! Sometimes we don’t connect the dots between ourselves and our businesses but I think it’s catching on, because I am seeing a lot of business people talking about mindset.
I’ve been following Judith Morgan’s blog fest with interest because I love reading blogs for starters (nearly as much as I love writing them!) but more than that, I love hearing people’s stories. These blogs are really people’s business stories and It all ties in with her new book called Your Biz Your Way which is about doing YOUR business YOUR way. And you can find Judith’s blog here. Now I’m all about living life your way so this sits well with me!
Treat this like this is your life
I remember someone saying to me in my Corporate job ‘Treat this like it was your business’. That excited me so much because even in a big corporation there were people that realised if you give people trust and ownership, they will be more inspired and driven. That little comment made a great big difference to my teams’ results. It was me being my authentic self in that role.
I think that ‘Treat this like this is your business’ could translate more broadly into ‘Treat this like this is your life’ and that is something I certainly live by. So many people wait to be ‘done to’ but often you have to make your life happen on purpose. You have more power as your authentic self.
Got no money; make some. Got no friends; Find some. Hate your job? The list goes on. You can change most things in your life. If you want to. Believing this is the first step. The opportunities are abundant in 2018 and we are truly blessed.
This can be a bit of a mindset shift and in my therapy business I help a lot of people with mindset shifts! But get your head in the game and this really is YOUR LIFE and you will feel like you have more options. More power and therefore more happiness.
My life fundamentals
I have some fundamentals that I live my life as my authentic self and things are not much different in my business. Let me share these with you now:
Use energy wisely
I am fully aware of my energy levels. When they are high I harness them and flourish and when they are low, I replenish. I try to never go overdrawn because when I am depleted I cannot give my best self to life, family, friends and clients
I don’t waste my energy on arguments, gossip, comparison or anything that brings negative energy into my ‘field’.
I replenish mostly in nature, walking and being around tress or the sea.
It is said that children laugh around 300 times a day and adults just 17. I look for laughter at every opportunity because it feels good! And bring laughter into my therapy practice because it’s as excellent way to access the unconscious and change how something feels.
Do things that bring you joy
I know myself well. I could write an exact list right now of things that bring me joy. If I ever feel myself creeping away from joy I act quick and get it back. This is a life skill in my view.
Things that bring you joy don’t have to be big or expensive, they just need to bring you joy.
In my therapy business I get joy from working at a deep level with clients. I help them find themselves and find their own joy too.
When I travel I really go for it. Get involved in the culture, see all there is to see, eat the local food, go where the locals go and find out about their cultures and traditions.
I explore in my business too. Mostly training in new therapies because I seek out the best trainers Worldwide. But in a broader sense trying new things with clients to best help them.
I don’t do gimmicks, I don’t endorse people I don’t trust or believe in and I always bring my true self to the table/day/session. These criteria are true to authentic self. I love values because they form our identity and it’s a big piece of the work I do in my signature package (if you are curious about what that is please do ask me). When we align to our true values people get the best of us and it’s funny how the right things come to us.
I see being my authentic self as a hugely important part of being a therapist. My energy will flow in a way that shows people my intentions are to help them the best I can. Trust and rapport are part of a good Hypnosis session.
If I give my true self, it creates an energetic circuit where my client can be open about what they want to change and achieve the best possible results.
If you are a Facebook friend of mine you will know that I share knowledge freely. I believe if we all share knowledge, the world is a better place because we all know more. It’s also a great chance for discussion.
I share knowledge freely as a therapist. I don’t hold things back for ‘the next session’, if I think it benefits the client, I share it or use it there and then. Best outcomes are my mission!
Focus on your strengths
No one asks Tiger Woods to excel at basketball do they? He is really good at golf so he plays that, wins, feels great, earns good money and thrills his fans. Why on earth would he focus on other sports that he isn’t good at? Unless he wanted to learn new things or he enjoyed doing them of course.
We spend too much time thinking about the things we aren’t good at when I believe we should nurture and grow the things we are good at. I also believe we all have a gift/gifts. You’ve just got to find yours.
Know WHO you are, not WHAT you are
I often ask clients ‘Who are you’? And they answer with things like mum, wife, dad, husband, sister, brother, lawyer, teacher, entrepreneur, fitness addict or whatever. Usually a role, job or hobby.
And then we do what I call ‘work of the self’, where we uncover the parts of them they may have overlooked or forgotten. When we uncover their real ‘who’ it feels exciting. Like a new toy to be played with!
Just so you know, I am an explorer 🙂
Everything flows when you are your authentic self
This was a very easy post to write. It flowed from the heart and isn’t it great how easy things are when we are just our true selves. I believe when we live our truth, we do our best work.
I would love to hear what you think of how finding yourself links to having a better business and if you want to hear more from me, please come and follow me on Facebook and Instagram
Yesterday you met your own mind COP by imagining what you mind COP looked like, sounds like, wears…
Maybe one of these?
Today we are going to look at how your mind COP will catch those criminal negative thoughts and keep your mind safe. For the past week you have been keeping a note of your negative mind chatter in your notebook. Now is the time to have a good look at what you have written and start working on making some changes to how that chatter might make you feel bad.
Let’s see mind COP in action.
Catch them: You’ve been catching mind chatter for nearly a week. You should have a pretty good idea of what yours is saying to you and who your criminals are.
Own them: These are your thoughts. You created them. You can acknowledge them. Consider them and choose whether to discard them or whether to arrest them.
Protect yourself: You protect yourself by arresting the negative thoughts, examining the evidence and deciding whether to charge them or give them a warning.
Here’s an example based on the losing your job example negative thoughts we looked at yesterday. Read each thought from left to right to see how Mind COP works.
‘I should have worked harder’
I did work hard though
Maybe they didn’t really appreciate me?
‘Why didn’t I take that course to learn more’
I did a lot of development in that role
This is a chance to learn something new
‘I’m no good’
Is everything I’ve ever done no good?
I’ve achieved a lot
With those that love me?
I matter to the people that matter to me
I was one of 10
I will find a better fit
‘I’m not clever’
I was the problem solver
I need a new challenge
‘I’ll never get another job’
Have you tried?
I wonder what job I will love?
You can see how Mind COP is examining each thought and looking at it in a different way. One thought does not make a truth. One thought may seek evidence from the subconscious to support it, but Mind COP doesn’t fall for this.
Mind COP is objective and realizes that thoughts tell stories but their alibi is weak when questioned. Mind COP wants to hear from the witnesses and sort out those criminal negative thoughts.
You tell fibs
You see when you tell think a negative thought it’s probably not true and your Mind Cop might make this face!
So the next time those pesky criminal negative thoughts are doing a ‘wrong un’ in your mind, just see them scarper when Mind COP comes along and bangs them to rights.
Your time is precious, don’t waste it
How much of your precious life are you going to spend thinking negatively?
Think about it, how much time are you going to think about negative situations, obsess about the things that went wrong it your life, worry about things that happen or might never happen? Two hours a day? Which is 14 hours a week. Which is 60 hours a month. Which is 730 hours a year. Which is 30 DAYS A YEAR of feeling bad. What could you do in 30 days? A lot! In our example of losing the job, that is 30 days of enjoying the freedom of not working and exploring options for a new career whilst feeling happier.
Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and change. By learning to manage your thoughts you will be more resilient in the tough times and happier on the whole. You are not your past, your current situation or what people say about you. You are so much more than that and you can shine.
Write your own table of negative mind chatter in the same format as above and set your mind COP to work
Your mind power is the most powerful thing you own.
In fact so powerful, you even have two! The conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind helps you operate in the ‘now’ and makes rationale decisions. The subconscious operates at a deeper level and looks to protect us in all we do. You can read more about your two minds here
On Day 2 we started to look at mind chatter. Many of my clients spend more than 50% of their day thinking negatively or hearing negative mind chatter. If you watched sad films for that amount of time, they would probably lower your mood. But the good news is, if you spent the same amount of time watching positive films this would no doubt lift your mood.
Now this isn’t saying you shouldn’t watch sad films or feel negative emotions because we are human beings. We need to feel the whole range of emotions to have a complete human experience. This is about being aware that when a negative thought comes into our mind, it may not be the truth and maybe we shouldn’t spend time dwelling on it or believing it if it makes us feel bad.
Negative thoughts are like criminals in your mind
Say you lost your job. This is a serious life affecting event and can have a huge effect on people. Now say you spent much of your time thinking about:
‘I should have worked harder’
‘Why didn’t I take that course so I would be better’
‘I’m no good’
‘I’m not clever’
‘I’ll never get another job’
These thoughts are like criminals in your mind.
You might spend a few hours a day thinking about these things. These thoughts may run concurrently in your mind and feel like a cloud around your head, stifling you. When your friends and family are talking to you, you might not be listening to what they are saying because you are so wrapped up in what you are thinking. You can’t really read or watch TV properly because you are thinking about the ‘bad stuff’. It starts affecting your sleep. You lose enthusiasm for things you used to enjoy. All because of these thoughts. These thoughts are affecting your enjoyment of life, your relationships and opportunities. You might find it harder to get another job because your self-esteem is low and everything becomes much more difficult.
You need mind COP ne naw ne naw
Mind COP is a good COP. He (or she!) is there, patrolling in your head, looking out for negative thoughts and helping you to; Catch them. Own them. Protect yourself.
Tomorrow I will be showing you mind how COP will protect you against those criminal negative thoughts in your mind. And yes, you really do have the power of arrest (in real life, it’s a citizens arrest ). We will look at how mind COP will help you make arrests and bang the baddies to rights.
Now all this talk about mind COP and criminal negative thoughts is using our imagination. This is the beauty of the mind. It’s imaginative (which is a problem when it creates negative thoughts, phobias and anxiety) but wonderful when it creates excitement, possibility and power.
So let’s imagine mind COP now…. close your eyes (but read this first!). Can you see mind COP? What can you see? Does mind COP have a voice? A uniform? A face? How big is mind COP? How will mind COP help you?
You create your own thoughts you see. With your amazing, powerful, imaginative mind.
Here’s the plan:
Keep noting your mind chatter in your notebook
Read your gratitude list often
Come back tomorrow and I will show you Mind COP in action catching those criminals and keeping your mind safe
You’ve completed your first week of 30 days to a happier you. I wonder what you’ve noticed about your thoughts and the feelings they generate? And maybe you feel that you have a lot more control over your happiness than you think…..
You are the owner of your happiness
Here’s a reminder of what you’ve been up to over the past week in your mission to be a happier you.
Day 1 – you gave yourself a current happiness score out of 10 to see how happy you currently are.
Day 2 – you started to catch negative mind chatter going on in your head and made a note of it in your notebook.
Day 4 – you became a mind COP by realising how much time you spend thinking negatively. You are now focused on catching those negative thoughts as they come in, owning the thought and protect yourself by realising it might not be true.
Day 5 – you did the shake N vac and started to freshen your mind with gratitude.
Day 6 – you wrote a really good gratitude list that means something to you.
Wow, what a great start! Well done you 🙂
Why wait any longer to be a happier you?
If you haven’t done all the exercises, or you have just found this blog series, no problem! It is never too late to start.
Just go back on the blogs and pick up from there. You just need a notebook and pen, to read my blogs each day and dedicate a small amount of time each day to do the exercises. This is not meant to be another thing on your ‘to do list’. It is raising your awareness to things that affect your happiness and helping you train your brain to be happier.
You are not alone
If you are finding this difficult to do on your own, no problem, because I can help you. I offer 4 session packages in person in West Sussex or on Skype round the world! In 4 sessions people have significiant insights and shifts. If you have an electrical problem, you call an electrician. You probably don’t service your own car. And I doubt you do your own dental check up or eye test!
So if you need help with your mind or issues that you can’t solve alone, seek the help of a professional. Your mental health is a critical part of your wellbeing. 1 in 3 adults will have a mental health issue at some point in their lives and there is lots of help available.
Gratitude lists are talked about a lot now. But rarely are we shown how to write a meaningful one that works.
A gratitude list is a powerful thing. If you capture the things that you are grateful for and they have real meaning to you, it can help you build happiness and can be a source of comfort in difficult times.
Have a go right now!
It helps if your list has a good variety of things and you understand why you are grateful for what you have written. A bit like ‘I’m grateful for x because it means ‘y’. You might need a few goes before you get the finished article, but along the way you are thinking in a grateful way and a positive way. This is great because you are looking on the world as a good place. And the even better news is when you look for the good, it lifts you and then you see and feel better. When you have a gratitude list you are happy with, don’t stick it in a cupboard. It’s a living document with a purpose. Stick in somewhere you can see it. Carry a pretty copy on you or in the car. Have it on your phone/computer/hairdryer/xbox.
So what makes a good gratitude list?
Many people find it hard to write a gratitude list. Here are some examples to help you on your way:
Clean water available everywhere I go. Water is the most beneficial drink for my mind and body and quenches my thirst.
For being able to read so I can enjoy stories and information abundantly
For the sun shining on my face and making me feel good
For the rain that cleanses the earth and nourishes the plants and crops
The kindness of people and the kindness they show me
Trees for giving us oxygen
Wind for flying kites and wind farms
My sense of humour for seeing the funny side in most things
My honesty which makes me a trusted person
My baking skills which helps me make lovely things for people
Air for every wonderful breath
Sleep for renewing my body and making me feel rested and ready for the day
Chickens for laying eggs which make many nutritious meals
Colours which light up my life and give me pleasure
Light for bringing different dimensions to all I see
The sea where I can swim, play and fish
Animals for their cuteness, their comedy and their companionship
My wobbly tummy for giving me babies
Teachers of all sorts of lessons which have helped me grow, think differently and exercise in different ways
Music for giving my ears pleasure and firing my emotions
Food for the pleasure it gives and the nourishment it provides
Campfires for their feeling of freedom and wilderness and not forgetting smores
Touch so I feel my loved ones skin and stroke their hair
Freezer for making ice cubes and my kettle for making cups of tea
Yeast for making dough rise for bread
My voice so I can read stories to my children and make people laugh
My ears which let me hear the tone in someone’s voice which tells me how they feel and the waves crashing on the beach
My nose to smell flowers and perfume and also smells to avoid
My courage that gets me through difficult times
If you are stuck at what to put on your gratitude list consider nature, animals, the human body or people.
The highest level of gratitude is the gratitude for existence itself.
A negative can make a positive
You can get things for your gratitude list from negative situations. This is called ‘reframing’. Basically finding the positive in a negative situation. Ebay do it beautifully when they say ‘you’ve won’ the item when you’ve bought it! But ‘winning’ is a feel good word.
You can find gratitude in most ‘life lessons’ for example if you don’t like someone’s behaviour, you can be grateful that you know how to behave better or that you have the freedom to not be around them.
What’s interesting about gratitude is that it is not about comparing yourself to those less fortunate. People often fall into this trap. We will come to comparing to others in a later blog. It won’t make you feel better to have something that someone else doesn’t have. Gratitude is about noticing and being grateful for things yourself.
Here’s the plan
Continue to catch your negative mind chatter – are you noticing a key theme or time it occurs yet?
Continue to acknowledge that when a thought comes in, it may not be true 🙂
Become a mind COP. Catch it, own it, protect yourself.
Do the shake and vac and put the freshness back by making an awesome gratitude list
Work with me
I’m a Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner that specializes in helping people ‘reset’ in difficult times. We will work through confusion and find confidence and joy in your life. You can email me with any questions or for a free 20 minute consultation. I am on Facebook which I’m very grateful for obvs!