Yesterday was shrove Tuesday here in the UK which inspired me to write a flat as a pancake post.
You will probably live a long time. The UK comes 21st out of the 35 developed nations studied for female life expectancy, at 85.2 years, and 14th for men, at 82.5 years. So it’s probably a good idea to make as many years of those happy ones 🙂
It’s quite common for people to suffer a dip in life satisfaction at some point in their lives, with the most common age for this around early to mid forties. This is often referred to a a mid life crisis. Yesterday I took 2 bookings from people in this age range who felt they need to evaluate their lives and make sure that the rest of their life gives them satisfaction.
So what are the reasons for feeling as flat as a pancake? Although they will be different for everyone, here are some of the themes I see in my work as a Hypnotherapist and coach specialising in what is labelled as ‘depression’ but today we can call it feeling as ‘flat as a pancake’.
People fall out of love with partners and themselves. Even though I am reluctant to use the word ‘self-love’, it is important to value yourself or you will attract all sorts of trouble into your life. You may become a people pleaser who can’t say no to others because you don’t have enough self-esteem to do so and fear upsetting others. Or you might attract people into your life that don’t value you because you don’t value yourself very much. The good news is that self-esteem is easily increased with a bit of self reflection and work. This is a big part of my work with my clients. Some people find a new lease of love for others once they like themselves more. And some people find the confidence to end bad relationships in pursuit of happiness alone or with a new partner.
Many people build great careers and businesses in their twenties and thirties only to find that the money doesn’t give them the kind of happiness they seek in later life. Maybe the working hours or conditions clash with their desire to be with their family or the work/life balance is out of kilter. Often, people chase the ‘dream’ only to feel unfulfilled when they get it. This is because deep down inside money isn’t one of their key values so the sacrifice that has to be made to get the money (and there often is one) just doesn’t sit right. It’s really useful to uncover your values and align your life and the way you spend your time and energy to your values which means you feel more at home in your own skin and much happier with your life. This is a key part of the work I do with my clients and they are often surprised at what is really important to them.
You get a job and you are *insert your name* the manager, or the accountant, or the teacher or whatever. You get married and you are *insert husband or wife’s name* husband or wife. You have children and you are *insert childrens’ names* mum or dad. So who are you really. Seriously, try and answer that question now. It’s usually hard for people! When I do identity work with people, I help them rediscover parts of themselves that they have forgotten
Life can dampen dreams. When you ask a child what they want to be when they grow up, they don’t wait and think will it pay their mortgage, will they be able to handle the commute, is there career progression and will it ever offer flexible working. They answer from their HEART. They say things like ‘pop star’, ‘astronaut’ or ‘football player’. They dream big in line with their passions, the things that excite them, where they think they will be happy. Dreams are different to goals. Goals are usually SMART (smart, measurable, achieveable, realistic and timebound) and yes, goals can leads towards your dreams. But dreams light you up and excite you and everyone should have at least one dream. Who knows, it might even come true 🙂
Pitfalls of being a pancake
If you find yourself feeling flat as a pancake you might sink into depression. People can stay in this situation for weeks, months and even years. But what people don’t realise is that you can do a lot to help yourself ease depression or even shake it off altogether.
You might find yourself comfort eating to counteract what’s missing in your life. Or emotional eating to avoid facing up to things.
Often people become anxious when they feel out of control or lost in their lives. Almost like a symptom for things that aren’t right. Anxiety sometimes follows stress or comes before depression.
Some people can tolerate stress for a long time before they ‘snap’ or ‘crumble’. Once this has happened they find themselves assessing their lives and looking to avoid the same situation. Don’t underestimate stress (it’s not called the silent killer for nothing).
So what can you do if you feel flat as a pancake?
It really helps to get some help when you feel as flat as a pancake. I help people smooth issues of the past and feel better about the future. Your thoughts will feel more organised and you will be able to think more clearly with a renewed sense of purpose.
Once you let the stuff you’ve been carrying for years, decades or a lifetime go, you will be amazed how much lighter and brighter you feel. I will help you get back in touch with yourself, understand your needs and what you need to do to meet them. We will look at ways to bring joy into your life so you feel happier and fulfilled.
It is never too late for a new beginning, every single day is a clean slate waiting to be filled by you.
Sign up for my mailing list as I will soon be offering a free programme to help you find your bliss.
A day in the food diary of Jacqui Malpass
Roughly two months ago, I had the brilliant idea of getting a well woman test. The test came back – you have an overactive thyroid. I was naffed off as you can imagine. After doing some research, I went back to the doctors with my nutrition plan. He gave me six weeks to prove I could turn everything back to normal. Of course, I did!
In addition to my already fab diet, I gave up gluten, nightshades (potatoes, peppers, aubergines, goji berries and tomatoes). There were days that I opened the fridge and thought what am I going to eat. Or screaming up the walls because I wanted cake. And then I thought ‘get off your ass and experiment.’
On Sunday, for example, I started the day, as normal with a glass of water and a doggie walk. I have become a ‘how to drink water properly’ freak. On returning, it’s another glass of water and a 30 minute wait until my taste buds were delighted with fresh figs from my neighbour with a touch of Greek yoghurt (I can’t quite get this out of my system, just yet), with Maca, Baobob and raw chocolate.
One of my absolute must haves is variety, so on other days it’s out with my Nutribullet and a concoction of some description, usually with avocado, chia, ginger, turmeric and raw chocolate featuring amongst other ingredients. Smoothies are rarely planned, more mmmm what do I fancy?
My banana bread treat
After a few hours of writing I am usually busting for chocolate and with none to be found (I simply do not buy crap), I have to make some. Chocolate truffles can be melting in my mouth in about 20 minutes.
My what cake can I make is typically based on a banana bread recipe. If I don’t have bananas I use whatever is to hand. The last chocolate ‘bread’ I made was with beetroot and raw chocolate. 1 hour later and I have cake. I never realised how easy it is to have cakes (gluten and sugar-free) and chocolates until I found myself in a position of needing to make them. It is so easy
Lunch is a small affair
Lunch is always a small affair. Gluten free crackers, humus (home-made), avocado and an apple or crackers, almond butter, goats cheese and an apple. To be honest, I am rarely hungry during the day, but at least I know that I have had something.
The evening sees us wandering out to the rambla (dried river bed) for our evening sniff and then it’s back to staring forlornly in the fridge. The fridge is packed with organic veggies; my brain is however not always packed with inspiration.
A few times of opening and closing said fridge door, and I can devise something yummy – though not always. Today, for example, I have already decided on sweet potato tortilla with a massive salad and a cheeky glass of cider. My rules about not drinking with food are often broken in the evening. Life can’t be all about being good can it?
Embrace the hard facts
If you find yourself faced with hard facts that mean that you have to change your lifestyle, please embrace it. My diet is amazing, and I eat fantastically well.
Things don’t always work out, like the time I thought I had defrosted lentil burgers, and it was biscuit mix. Tasted odd fried (in coconut oil) with veg, but there you go.
Making lots of something, bread, cakes, burgers, casseroles / stews, hummus, means that when inspiration leaves me, I can hunt around in the freezer and usually find something I fancy.
You can find Jacqui at JacquiMalpass.com & ConsciousWomenTribe.com
A note from Honey….
Thank you Jacqui for sharing your food diary with us. I shall be making the banana bread.
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Healthy hug 🙂
What is your Unique Selling Point?
Do you worry that you are not good enough? Maybe you want to be thinner, richer, funnier, faster, slower, taller, shorter or more intelligent.
Maybe you spend a lot of time comparing yourself to others? This will probably not make you feel good as there will always be someone with something that you don’t have. But what they won’t have is your smile, friends, loved ones, wit, originality, creativity, look in your eye, smile, hair, smell etc. It really doesn’t matter what anyone else is, no one is you and that is your power.
What USPs do you like?
In sales and marketing this is known as the ‘USP’ (unique selling point). Consumers are always on the look out for that USP. They wants things that are special and unique.
Think about it. In life there are some things that you know, trust and love more than others:
- A particular pen that writes nicely. You might have lost the lid or the ink might be really expensive but you love that pen
- A chocolate that you just love to devour. Maybe you buy it and have a particular time in mind when you will indulge with it
- A lover that makes you melt like no other
- A flower that you love the smell of
- A scruffy pair of tracks suit bottoms that are just sooooo comfortable
- A dinner that a particular person made or makes for you. It’s just the way they make it (nans usually feature quite highly here)
- A teddy bear that you love
- A pillow that is so snuggly
- Your favourite bowl (the chipped one)
- That server in your coffee shop with the crazy hair that makes your coffee exactly how you like it
- Your friends laugh that is a bit too loud in public places but hey, it makes you laugh too
- That pet that makes a mess of your house but you wouldn’t be without
- Your favourite sausages
- Your favourite band that sang a song that has since been covered but its just not the same
- The writer that write books you can’t put down and stay up late reading
- Your favourite actor. It doesn’t matter what he’s in, you’ll still watch it
- And of course your special loved ones and friends for all their unique qualities that make them their amazing selves
The point is these things are special and important to you. They have something else that other things don’t and that is their power.
So have a think about your USPs. The things that make you special. Do you know what they are? Do you know what other people think they are? I feel an exercise coming on….
Here’s the plan.
- Make a list of 10 things that make you special
- Make a list of 5 things that are unique about you
- Write down one physical thing you like about yourself
- Ask people close to you to do this for you to.
Rejoice in your special uniqueness and remember the people that care about you like you just the way you are….