What I learnt from Derek Halpern about making online courses because yes, I am making online courses to help people.
I’m going through an exciting time in my business developing online courses so I can help people around the world. So I spent some time watching Derek Halpern from Social Triggers on You Tube who is good at all things online. Here are 3 things I’ve learnt from Derek Halpern
1 – How important working with knowledgeable people is to me.
I can’t just launch a course and hope that someone finds it! And that’s why I’ve been following Derek Halpern. He knows a lot about online courses and content. He has been doing daily videos for about a month now and I like his insights.
I’ve worked hard in my therapy career to learn from some of the top people in the business. Paul Mckenna for Hypnosis, Richard Bandler for NLP, Kevin Laye for Psychosensory Techniques and Principles, the list goes on. Not to mention all the books and online courses which are also an excellent way to learn.
So that’s my therapy core learning sorted (although I regularly top up and learn new therapies as many practitioners do). I’ve been helping people with stop smoking, anxiety, stress, sleep, weight loss, confidence, depression and life direction for years now and there is always something new to learn.
Some weeks my appointment book is very busy and so the way for me to help more people is with online courses and downloads. So I’ve created the Change Your Life Academy for that reason. It’s going to be jam packed full of courses to help you and I will give you all my best knowledge there.
2 – How important it is to give people that buy your courses quality content.
An online course shouldn’t be something that when the person that buys it starts using it they don’t get what was promised. I need to provide a service in my courses. Something of value. Especially if you are a therapist because the reason people are buying your course is because they want to make a problem better or they want to grow.
My course needs to be carefully thought out, full of quality content and most of all be of value to the person that buys it. This is the bit I am most looking forward to. I’ve spent years learning and can’t wait to share my theory and practical knowledge with you!
My first course which you can buy right now is Crush Your Sugar Cravings. This course was created by me to help you give up or reduce sugar in your diet. Take a look here
3 – How you need to be true to yourself in all that you do
It’s been really interesting watching Derek for a month. I feel like I know him better now! He has shared a lot of great advice over the weeks and taken us out onto the streets of New York which was cool. His style is quite direct and he wears black t-shirts and track suit bottoms most days because this is what he likes. I like that he is true to himself in this way.
I’ve always believed in being true to myself. Which means being true to others too because they are getting the real me. And I always intend to be this way in my business too. If someone comes to me as a client and we are going to work together to change their life for the better, they deserve the real me and my very self to facilitate their changes.
The other day I heard some children talking about peoples’ reactions when they played their game of sweet and sour.
Apparently sweet and sour game is where you sit in the back of a Volvo and wave at strangers in others cars. If they wave back they are sweet and if they don’t they are sour! I heard about how one man had showed them a doughnut and another man did a salute. They thought this was great. Children find lots of ways to have fun for free.
Adults can have fun for free too. You might get some funny looks if you play sweet and sour but here are some ideas of things you can do for free.
Yesterday you met your own mind COP by imagining what you mind COP looked like, sounds like, wears…
Maybe one of these?
Today we are going to look at how your mind COP will catch those criminal negative thoughts and keep your mind safe. For the past week you have been keeping a note of your negative mind chatter in your notebook. Now is the time to have a good look at what you have written and start working on making some changes to how that chatter might make you feel bad.
Let’s see mind COP in action.
Catch them: You’ve been catching mind chatter for nearly a week. You should have a pretty good idea of what yours is saying to you and who your criminals are.
Own them: These are your thoughts. You created them. You can acknowledge them. Consider them and choose whether to discard them or whether to arrest them.
Protect yourself: You protect yourself by arresting the negative thoughts, examining the evidence and deciding whether to charge them or give them a warning.
Here’s an example based on the losing your job example negative thoughts we looked at yesterday. Read each thought from left to right to see how Mind COP works.
‘I should have worked harder’
I did work hard though
Maybe they didn’t really appreciate me?
‘Why didn’t I take that course to learn more’
I did a lot of development in that role
This is a chance to learn something new
‘I’m no good’
Is everything I’ve ever done no good?
I’ve achieved a lot
With those that love me?
I matter to the people that matter to me
I was one of 10
I will find a better fit
‘I’m not clever’
I was the problem solver
I need a new challenge
‘I’ll never get another job’
Have you tried?
I wonder what job I will love?
You can see how Mind COP is examining each thought and looking at it in a different way. One thought does not make a truth. One thought may seek evidence from the subconscious to support it, but Mind COP doesn’t fall for this.
Mind COP is objective and realizes that thoughts tell stories but their alibi is weak when questioned. Mind COP wants to hear from the witnesses and sort out those criminal negative thoughts.
You tell fibs
You see when you tell think a negative thought it’s probably not true and your Mind Cop might make this face!
So the next time those pesky criminal negative thoughts are doing a ‘wrong un’ in your mind, just see them scarper when Mind COP comes along and bangs them to rights.
Your time is precious, don’t waste it
How much of your precious life are you going to spend thinking negatively?
Think about it, how much time are you going to think about negative situations, obsess about the things that went wrong it your life, worry about things that happen or might never happen? Two hours a day? Which is 14 hours a week. Which is 60 hours a month. Which is 730 hours a year. Which is 30 DAYS A YEAR of feeling bad. What could you do in 30 days? A lot! In our example of losing the job, that is 30 days of enjoying the freedom of not working and exploring options for a new career whilst feeling happier.
Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and change. By learning to manage your thoughts you will be more resilient in the tough times and happier on the whole. You are not your past, your current situation or what people say about you. You are so much more than that and you can shine.
Write your own table of negative mind chatter in the same format as above and set your mind COP to work
If you have ever wondered what the secrets of slim people are, your questions might be answered tonight in a show called ‘The truth about slim people’
The truth about slim people
We will get to see how two people; Anne-Marie and Yemi, manage to stay slim despite it seems eating whatever they like, whenever they like.
It is a true case of nothing being as it seems as I read the article about it.
Anne-Marie is a 42 year old mother of two who was trained as a dancer but now runs a dance classes for kids. She is 9 stone a size 8. Every aspect of her life was filmed for 5 days.
Yemi is a 37 year old father of 2, has a 32 inch waist and weighs 12 stone. His childhood nickname was ‘Dustbin’ because of his large appetite. He did a lot of sport in his younger days.
Neither of them eat ‘healthy’ food and they both at what they like in the quantity they desire. Or so it seems.
As part of the programme they both have medical test and it is found that neither of them have ‘magic metabolisms’.
The findings tell this story (see if you can spot the key ones that I, as a Hypnotherapist, will talk about today):
They don’t snack in the day
They fully satisfy themselves at mealtimes by eating what they fancy.
They both eat enough to feel full until the next meal.
Neither of them are ‘emotional eaters’.
They don’t drink much alcohol.
If they eat a lot one day, they eat less the next day
They unconsciously seem to balance their calorie intake
Anne-Marie is found to be a ‘fidgeter’. Never sitting still and using up lots of energy just ‘being her’.
Yemi walks at a very fast pace
Both sleep well
Both have good gut bacteria
Neither of them are ‘hung-up’ on food
They are both ‘self-regulated’
The conclusion from the show was that the secret to staying slim is mindset.
From the list above I am going to talk about the emotional eating aspect today.
So what is an emotional eater?
It’s safe to say that an emotional eater will not see food as fuel only. If you are an emotional eater food is more of a friend that you call on when you need to feel better. When you feel negative emotions you will use food as a way to take your mind off them. Because your mind is distracted by the emotion, it means you don’t recognize when you are hungry or full so eat you fulfill an emotional need rather than a physical one.
Emotional eaters use food as a crutch rather than a source of pleasure to be enjoyed for what it is.
So what emotions might trigger an emotional eater to eat? Well any negative emotion really such as:
Dislike of yourself
Eating numbs the emotion and therefore feels comforting. But the bad news is after you’ve eaten you will probably feel more negative emotions about yourself like hating yourself for having no control, guilt, not liking your body, feeling fat or ugly or shame (especially if you eat in secret).
If you are unhappy being overweight, you may feel you have to wear make up to ‘hide’ yourself or even feel ugly without it and you may feel the need to behave in a way that distracts from your body which only adds to your feelings of internal discomfort. You may not be happy in your own skin.
Before you beat yourself up for what you crave and eat….
Why is it that certain foods seem to feature highly for emotional eaters? Foods like cake, biscuits, ice cream? Well your cravings can be justified for good reason. The blend of carbohydrates, sugar and fat can be delicious. A multi-sensory and temporarily satisfying experience. The feel in your mouth, the smell, the flavours and the taste exciting your senses and providing a distraction from anything else at that moment. And they are so easily available.
These type of food also provide instant gratification.
But did you know that your brain chemistry actually changes when you eat. “Carbohydrates set off a series of chemical reactions that ultimately lead to a boost in brain serotonin,” says Judith Wurtman, Ph.D., the former director of the Research Program in Women’s Health at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Clinical Research Center. The higher the levels of serotonin, the more content you feel (at least temporarily).
There have also been studies around fatty foods making people feel less sad because fatty acids can induce a signal from your gut to your brain, which may influence emotions.
So how can an emotional eater change?
Keep an emotional food diary
Keeping a food diary to track what you’ve been eating alongside what how you are feeling at the time can help you identify what triggers emotional eating.
I’ve made a food and emotion diary download for you which you can download here
Knowing what these triggers are can help you break the emotional eating habits and deal with triggers instead of turning to food.
How can you deal with emotional triggers?
So if you’ve done your food diary and spotted some emotional triggers for you, you need to know how to do something other than eat when they occur.
Although there are many ways that you could find something other than eat to do, it is a good idea if you try and find something that satisfies your reward centre. What I mean by that is the place in your mind that needs to feel good and satisfied (known as a reward centre). If you don’t do this, you are merely distracting yourself from the thought of wanting to eat (this strategy can work well for some people too).
If you think about how your emotions are soothed and the deep connection they have with food for a minute.
Ice cream at the seaside – this often starts in childhood. There you are having a great time with your family and your treat is an ice cream. Not only is the ice cream delicious in itself, but it anchors those happy feelings of your time at the beach probably with people you like to be with.
Popcorn at the cinema – going to the cinema is a sensory experience. you are going to watch a story that you can be absorbed in undisturbed for a couple of hours. You will see things that might be amazing and open your unconscious mind and emotions right up (think Disney or Hollywood). You then eat some sweet popcorn which anchors the experience.
Candy floss at the funfair – you are surrounded by fun and people laughing. you may have been spun round and round or been taken on a ride up in the air. Everyone there is happy and laughing. There are bright lights and your adrenaline, serotonin and oxytocin which make you excited and happy will all be in full force. The candy floss anchors the experience.
These experiences are bonding tastes and food with experiences. Your brain will want the same feeling if you don’t give it the food it thinks it wants.
So you need to get creative to think of things you can do which may make you feel good. Maybe excited or like you’ve accomplished something. Get thinking about what they might be now. What are you craving and how can you get it another way than eating?
If you need help
If you need help with your emotional eating or weight loss then I can help you by seeing you as a one to one client for 4 sessions. It is 4 sessions because we work on any emotional healing that needs to take place to allow you to move on. We work with the inner voice that damages your self-esteem and I help you to love your body (yes in its current form) so you want to care for it and nourish it. We also work on making better food choices, sugar cravings and confidence. The whole works.
If you want to be part of a group and spend 47 days working on your relationship with food, your relationship with yourself, sharing recipes, participating in challenges and listening to Hypnosis audios to help you, then you can join my next Project 47 group which starts on January 9th 2018. Please email me and I will put you on the waiting list.
It’s about that time when new year resolutions to eat more healthily might be getting tougher. You know what I mean don’t you? January 5th you were eating salads for lunch and now the sandwiches are creeping back in. You were ‘being good’ but now the odd biscuit is finding itself dunked in your tea and mints don’t count as sweets do they?
Changing your diet is a big deal. Not to be underestimated! Which is why it can be very difficult to stick to your new plan after the first week excitement has worn off. Just like the exercise post I wrote earlier this week, it helps greatly if you understand the real reasons you want a healthier diet. These will be different for everyone and it can be hard to understand the real real reasons. When I work with clients who want Hypnotherapy for weight loss (and stop smoking), we spend a lot of time getting to their ‘why’.
What’s your real why?
The why will be based around ‘away from’ or ‘towards’ mentality because this is how we tend to work when we are motivated.
Some examples of ‘away from’ are:
Not wanting health issues
Not wanting to be overweight
Not wanting people to comment on your weight
Some examples of ‘towards’ are:
Wanting to look a particular way
A special occasion like a wedding
Achieving a goal
Trying to get pregnant
Wanting to be fitter
There is no right or wrong, but there is usually one thing that stands out above the rest (easy to find in Hypnotherapy which accesses the unconcious mind which is where our deep routed beliefs and desires are held).
Once you have your real real reason why, remind yourself of it often and especially when you are feeling like you want to give into temptation.
So what are the easy ways to maintain your healthy eating plan?
1 – If cravings strike, have a glass of water. A craving will not last long, around 20 seconds. If you drink a glass of water it will stop your craving by distracting it. Disruption and confusion are very good techniques for interrupting brain patterns.
2 – Eat protein with every meal. Protein keeps you fuller longer and if you are fuller, you will be less inclined to want to nibble.
3 – Try to avoid processed sugar. Sugar is highly addictive and has a similar effect on the brain to cocaine! You will also cause blood sugar spikes which mean that when you crash, you will want more. If you need something sweet, aim for a small amount of dried fruit which at least has some vitamins in and is unlikely to be as moreish as chocolate and sweets. Or even better some fresh fruit.
4 – Have a nutrient rich smoothie. People fall into a trap of thinking that any smoothie is good news, but if it is just fruit that’s not the best way to go. Smoothies can really help you with a healthy diet if you make nutrient rich ones. I will be sharing 5 amazing smoothie recipes in a blog post soon.
5 – Make changes gradually like cutting out sugar first. Then maybe decreasing the amount of fat in your diet. And then increasing the amount of fruit and vegetables that you eat. So the changes are gradual, easier to manage and longer lasting. Think nutrients, not calories.
6 – Keep healthy snacks on you and around you. In your bag, pocket, car, desk drawer… everywhere! Healthy snacks can save you until dinner time and make all the difference. Some good healthy snacks are almonds, rice cakes, oat cakes and naked bars.
7 – Plan your meals. More about this in a future blog post!
8 – Have a mantra. If you feel yourself struggling.. say the mantra. Make it meaningful and tie in in with your why.
This blog is one in a 30 day series about self-development and practical lists we will be making to enhance our lives. I’m using these blogs to provide coaching and advice in my capacity as a qualified coach and Hypnotherapist working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.
Quick review of yesterday’s list:
Yesterday you made a list of ways you can personally relax. Have you spent your 2 minutes today relaxing?
Your next list:
For your next list , note down any of the things in the list that might help you stick to your healthy eating plan and any more you can think of.
Do you have a top tip? We would love to hear it in the comments :_
Paul Mckenna is probably the most famous Hypnotherapist in the world. It’s strange how he has almost always been part of my life from when he was a DJ on Capital FM.
I first saw Paul in the flesh in Wimbledon theatre about 20 years ago at a Hypnotherapy show. He Hypnotised my friend who was actually a sceptic that it would work!
Being a Hypnotherapist myself, I have been lucky enough to train with Paul Mckenna in person. He has Hypnotised me too; he has a lovely rich smooth voice 🙂
I am constantly in professional development. I go on about five training courses a year in person to learn new concepts and techniques to benefit my clients. I also watch lots of content and read lots of books. As I’ve recently been running a 30 day blog about healthy eating, it made sense to revisit a classic book. ‘I can make you thin’ by Paul Mckenna. Paul is Britain’s best selling non-fiction author and I would imagine that this has sold millions of copies across the world!
The book is thin!
The first thing I noticed about this book was how thin it was. Was that a message to my subconscious? The book comes with a CD which is about 30 minutes long and Paul says it will change the way I think about food and feel better about myself. I like this approach as there are studies that suggest you need to work on self-esteem before or during weight loss, or it’s likely that you will put weight back on again.
Paul recommends listening to the CD every day for the best results. This is also an approach I use with my clients as I give them a personalised recording of their sessions to listen to during their Hypnotherapy weight loss journey.
In the preface by Ronald Ruden, M.D., P.H.D, he makes the point that food is freely available. This is important. It cannot be avoided. This means that temptation is everywhere. You can’t go in a coffee shop without being faced with an array of cakes, sandwiches and biscuits. Even the drinks can have up to 700 calories a piece and are like meals in themselves. Caramel chocolate hazelnut latte with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles anyone?
Tackle the stress first
It’s great that the book talks about reducing the stress that diets cause, but actually stress of any kind can trigger overeating and mindless eating. Stress would be a major factor of overeating and weight gain in my opinion and I would work on stress with all my clients. Feeling relaxed is pleasant and greatly beneficial for opening the subconscious, clearing negative thoughts and creating space for wonderful new positive thoughts and behaviours.
I didn’t like the sound of this being ‘an approach to controlling the response to hunger’ because for me, healthy eating isn’t about being hungry. It’s about eating foods which sustain you and nourish your body and reducing the amount of processed food, sugar and saturated fat that you eat.
Eat like slim people
Paul starts by saying ‘how would you like to eat whatever you want whenever you want and still lose weight’? Of course! Sounds wonderful thanks Paul. He says that this is not like other weight loss approaches and people might be angry about all the money they’ve spent on other diets!
I love that Paul has put his NLP training into practise by modelling his system on the habits of naturally slim people that he has modelled. This means he has seen what they do and used that to develop his system.
Paul says that 90% of people that diet fail! And they fall into three groups of:
‘Forget about dieting. For ever. Diets are no more than training courses in how to get fat and feel like a failure’.
Paul says to deprive yourself of food is the worst possible way to lose weight and backs this up with a study from the second world war where people were starved and once food became available they ate up to eight times more. Even three months later.
Emotional eating has nothing to do with physical hunger, but a hunger for emotional fulfilment. I like the way he suggests asking yourself before you snack if you are hungry or just want to feel different. This really brings you in touch with your physical and emotional needs. If you are hungry you can choose to eat something. If you are not actually hungry, you need a strategy for managing your emotions and changing your state. Something I always help my clients with.
He notes that sometimes weight gain follows a traumatic incident but people do not connect the two. In these incidences he suggests seeing an appropriate therapist.
I have had many clients that have worked on significant issues. Whatever treatment you come for; I am equipped to deal.
Paul actually goes so far as to say the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to go into the subconscious mind and change your relationship with food forever. I see this differently. Many people successfully lose weight with will power which is part of the conscious mind. Many people go to slimming groups and become ‘target’ members. This means that they get to go to the same slimming group every week for life and for free as long as they stay in a particular weight range. And many do. This is what I would call an ‘away from’ strategy where the fear of putting the weight back on keeps that person slim. This works for many.
But there are many more people that lose weight in a similar way and put it back on and I get lots of those clients. We work together and yes we use the subconcious mind. We will cover reasons and triggers for overeating and change them. So you could say this is a ‘towards strategy’ which provides inspiration that things can change for good. But without being monitored and without counting calories so you can look forward to a life without the chains caused by overeating and being overweight. You will be doing it because every part of you wants to and can see the benefits of doing so. It’s exciting and life doesn’t feel like ‘being on a diet’.
Paul uses great metaphoric language to explain that learning to eat right is just like learning to tie your shoelaces or drive a car. You need to spend some time and practice doing it, but after a while it becomes second nature and you don’t even think about it very much!
Paul’s Golden Rules
Going back to the slim people he had modelled, Paul says there are four golden rules he has identified:
1 – When you are hungry eat
This is such great advice as it stops blood sugar nose diving and stops the body panicking and storing fat it doesn’t need. He calls being hungry ‘the body’s natural call for food’ which I think is a great term for it.
2 – Eat what you what, not what you think you should eat
This chapter was excellent and covered an interesting experiment with toddlers and trusting the body to ask for what it needed if nothing was restricted.
3 – Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful
Here Paul said that he had noticed that overweight people spend a lot of time thinking about food except when they are eating it and are then busy enjoying it.
4 – When you think you are full, STOP eating
This one sounds obvious but there is evidence that it takes the stomach time to realise that it’s full. So you could be eating a lot more food than you need that time. That’s why rule 3 is a good one. By slowing down your eating you are giving your stomach a chance to realise that it’s being fed.
Programming your mind to be slim
As a Hypnotherapist this was my favourite part of the book! I love how Paul talks about the power of our imagination. He gives an exercise to demonstrate how your imagination is so powerful you can imagine tasting chocolate cake and also something disgusting happening to that cake.
He also how words can ‘sell’ food. I just found this description of plums on the Waitrose website!
‘Sweet, juicy plums are truly a treat. The most popular varieties combine honeyed sweetness with a hint of acidity that makes them useful for cooking as well as eating just as they are’. This is a great tantalising description of a plum 🙂
I love the way Paul talks about focusing on what we do want rather than what we don’t. As I mentioned earlier, this is a ‘toward’ strategy, rather than an ‘away from’ strategy. ‘Toward’ strategies have much more long standing power than ‘away from’ as they are driven by inspiration and hope, rather than fear and hurt.
If you put a picture of yourself overweight on your fridge you are in fact focusing your mind on a negative image. It might make you feel bad and this is not a good starting place for your weight loss plan that will need your focus and effort.
You need to create a positive self-image
Paul talks about how important it is to work on your self-image. He describes it as ‘the blueprint that determines everything about you, from how motivated, intelligent and confident you are willing to let yourself be’. This gave me tingles because I cannot tell you how many clients I’ve had who are so talented, clever, kind, whatever, but lack a positive self-image.
I work with my clients to improve their self-image. This is what I call ‘work of the self’ and it changes lives. Nothing really changes except how the person feels about themselves, but it can change everything.
I like the example Paul gives of someone who is not classically attractive but their self-confidence makes them attractive to others. And this reinforces their own feelings of feeling attractive so is self-fulfilling.
You can 100% change your self-image.
Paul goes on to cover visualisation, emotional eating, exercise, motivation, craving and questions and ends by reminding readers that ultimately they need to take action to make being thin a habit.
In a nutshell
On Amazon this book these questions are asked when selling this book:
Would you like to eat whatever you want and still lose weight?
Would you like to feel really happy with your body?
Are you unable to lose those last 10 pounds? Do you find it difficult to say no to second helpings?
Do you get disheartened about your eating habits and your weight?
Then this amazing book and CD can help you!
I think this book could live up to these promises for some people, especially as it has a CD to listen to with it as a book alone is unlikely to make these changes.
But for those who need the personal touch and a customised Hypnotherapy weight loss plan or Hypno Gastric Band, please get in touch. I also offer a 4 week unique ‘go sugar-free programme’ which I have been running Worldwide on Skype for 3 years.
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