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30 days to a happier you – Day 10 – things to do for free

Sweet and sour

sweet and sourThe other day I heard some children talking about peoples’ reactions when they played their game of sweet and sour.

 

 

Apparently sweet and sour game is where you sit in the back of a Volvo and wave at strangers in others cars. If they wave back they are sweet and if they don’t they are sour! I heard about how one man had showed them a doughnut and another man did a salute. They thought this was great. Children find lots of ways to have fun for free.

Adults can have fun for free too. You might get some funny looks if you play sweet and sour but here are some ideas of things you can do for free.

  • Go to the sea
  • Take a course, there are free courses available at future learn
  • Cook something or invent a new dish
  • Cloud watch…….. Oh sorry I’m back. I just got distracted by some clouds!
  • Put some of your favourite photos in a collage
  • Read. Even if you hate reading there must be a book that you would enjoy. There are sites that find books you might like. Try whatshouldireadnext
  • Music changes your mood in 3 seconds. Choose a belter and sing your heart out. These girls are funny!
  • Be a tourist in your own city. I did this recently in Brighton and had a lot of fun
  • Make your Family tree. Free at most libraries
  • Walk in nature

nature

  • Go window shopping to see what you don’t need to buy!
  • Create something. A scarf, pen pot, book, shed
  • Find a group near you on Meet Up. If you can think of it, there’s a group for it!
  • Watch inspiring Ted talks
  • Look at some art to inspire you or make you wonder what it is!

weird art

 

 

 

 

 

  • Explore. On foot. On a bike. In the car
  • Exercise
  • Try creative writing or even a blog
  • Create a new outfit out of your existing clothes
  • Watch animals
  • Learn a new skill
  • Try some adult colouring
  • Create a mission for yourself – maybe see all the Royal Parks or local parks in your area? Visit all the libraries? Find the local markets?
  • Help someone else – Radio 1 have a great thing at the moment where you can give an hour to help others
  • Grow something

Peter Glazebrook from Newark kisses his world record breaking onion that weighed in at 18lbs 1oz, beating his previous world record by almost 2ozs, at the Harrogate Autumn Flower Show. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Friday September 14, 2012. Glazebrook took six first prize awards in the Giant Vegetable classes at the show. Photo credit should read: John Giles/PA Wire

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You will notice that most of these you can do alone. This is because if you make your own fun and happiness first, you become self-sufficient in your happiness and rarely bored and lonely.

I would love to hear your ideas of free things to do. Please add them to the comments and share them!

Here’s the plan:

  • Read your gratitude list often
  • Make sure Mind COP is on patrol
  • Pick one list from the list, do it and see how you feel
  • Feel free to share this post on facebook or twitter!
  • Like me on facebook

Happy hug 🙂

Honey

30 days to a happier you – Day 9 – you tell fibs

30 days to a happier you – Day 9 – you tell fibs

Is this your Mind COP?

Yesterday you met your own mind COP by imagining what you mind COP looked like, sounds like, wears…

Maybe one of these?

coprobocop1dogcop

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today we are going to look at how your mind COP will catch those criminal negative thoughts and keep your mind safe. For the past week you have been keeping a note of your negative mind chatter in your notebook. Now is the time to have a good look at what you have written and start working on making some changes to how that chatter might make you feel bad.

Let’s see mind COP in action.

Catch them: You’ve been catching mind chatter for nearly a week. You should have a pretty good idea of what yours is saying to you and who your criminals are.

Own them: These are your thoughts. You created them. You can acknowledge them. Consider them and choose whether to discard them or whether to arrest them.

Protect yourself: You protect yourself by arresting the negative thoughts, examining the evidence and deciding whether to charge them or give them a warning.

Here’s an example based on the losing your job example negative thoughts we looked at yesterday. Read each thought from left to right to see how Mind COP works.

Catch them Own them Protect yourself
‘I should have worked harder’ I did work hard though Maybe they didn’t really appreciate me?
‘Why didn’t I take that course to learn more’ I did a lot of development in that role This is a chance to learn something new
‘I’m no good’ Is everything I’ve ever done no good? I’ve achieved a lot
‘I’m unpopular’ With those that love me? I matter to the people that matter to me
‘Why me’ I was one of 10 I will find a better fit
‘I’m not clever’ I was the problem solver I need a new challenge
‘I’ll never get another job’ Have you tried? I wonder what job I will love?

 

You can see how Mind COP is examining each thought and looking at it in a different way. One thought does not make a truth. One thought may seek evidence from the subconscious to support it, but Mind COP doesn’t fall for this.

Mind COP is objective and realizes that thoughts tell stories but their alibi is weak when questioned. Mind COP wants to hear from the witnesses and sort out those criminal negative thoughts.

You tell fibs

You see when you tell think a negative thought it’s probably not true and your Mind Cop might make this face!

youthinkwhat

So the next time those pesky criminal negative thoughts are doing a ‘wrong un’ in your mind, just see them scarper when Mind COP comes along and bangs them to rights.

Your time is precious, don’t waste it

How much of your precious life are you going to spend thinking negatively?

Think about it, how much time are you going to think about negative situations, obsess about the things that went wrong it your life, worry about things that happen or might never happen? Two hours a day? Which is 14 hours a week. Which is 60 hours a month. Which is 730 hours a year. Which is 30 DAYS A YEAR of feeling bad. What could you do in 30 days? A lot! In our example of losing the job, that is 30 days of enjoying the freedom of not working and exploring options for a new career whilst feeling happier.

Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and change. By learning to manage your thoughts you will be more resilient in the tough times and happier on the whole. You are not your past, your current situation or what people say about you. You are so much more than that and you can shine.

  • Write your own table of negative mind chatter in the same format as above and set your mind COP to work
  • Read your gratitude list often
  • See you tomorrow

Happy hug 🙂

Honey

Why Black Friday won’t make you happy

Why Black Friday won’t make you happy

Wow, there is a lot of excitement in the air today on this, Black Friday, but here is why Black Friday won’t make you happy.

A plethora of good and services

Do you like choice? Or does it confuse and overwhelm you? I know for many of my clients they suffer from overwhelm and feel desperate to declutter and simplify their lives and minds.

When you are surrounded by stuff it will add to feelings of stress and confusion. It also affects the flow of energy in your home which is what Feng Shui is all about. And have you every noticed how well your personal energy flows when your home is clean and tidy? Some decluttering experts such as Mary Kondo will advise you to only have things in your home that you really love and bring you pleasure. This is a lovely concept as it means whatever you use or look at in your home will bring you joy. Bringing joy into your life is a big part of my work with helping clients overcome depression.

So this Black Friday there might be some offers for things you have been thinking of buying for a while, or want to buy as a gift for Christmas like:

But can I suggest that you don’t get sucked into buying things that have no use or you have never considered yourself needing before, as these are likely to be the things that bring short term happiness (if any at all).

Reward centres

Shopping in a pastime enjoyed by many (or even most people). We ‘treat’ ourselves to pretty things, tasty things and things that excite or interest us. Things that we can wear to make us ‘feel good’. Things to make our home ‘look good’ and gadgets to make life ‘easier’.

For some, shopping feels like love.

This is because shopping briefly lights up the ‘reward centre’ of your brain. In simple terms, your brain is designed to seek pleasure or avoid pain.

To satisfy your brains need for pleasure, it works in a cycle of desire, action and satisfaction. An example of this could be wanting positive feedback from someone, doing something for them and getting the feedback which makes you feel good. When you feel good from the feedback your brain lights up its pleasure circuit and this makes you want to do it again. This is called positive reinforcement. Think children and animals here. When you positively reinforce good behaviour they are more likely to do it again.

Shopping lights up most people’s pleasure circuit. But is it enough to make you happy at a deeper level? Or is this happiness short lived? Let’s explore that.

Short term feelings of happiness

Abraham  Maslow was an American psychologist who created the pyramid below now known as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.Maslow's hierarchy of needs

The pyramid reflects that as complex beings, we need more than just the basics. Yes we need shelter and food. But then we move into the more emotional levels of love, self esteem and our own personal potential and fulfilment.

I see a lot of clients who need help with life direction. Often in their forties or fifties, they’ve worked, raised families, had relationships or marriages and on paper have what look to be successful and fortunate lives. But they are not happy. They don’t know who they are anymore and what the rest of their life will be like. They feel empty, lost and confused. This is to do with not operating in the top of Maslow’s triangle and don’t worry, after 4 sessions and a deep dive into themselves, they are right as rain.

So you see, shopping doesn’t really touch many of the levels of Maslow’s triangle which is why yes it may feels great in the short term, but because it hasn’t fulfilled you on an emotional level, you feel may feel empty and sad still, despite some wonderful Black Friday deals.

 

Feelings of emptiness

I would suggest that Cyber Monday was created to address the lull and emptiness that Black Friday might create. All that excitement on Black Friday, hunting deals, comparing features, accessing which colour will work best and then it stops. Oh no, all the website timers are at 0 and there are no more deals. But wait! You can do it all again on Cyber Monday and feed your reward centre once more. Hoorah. And then Tuesday comes 🙁

To address feelings of emptiness many people self-medicate with food, cigarettes, sex, alcohol, drugs or other things. Like shopping, these things do not address your emotional needs for satisfaction. You need to go inside and understand what makes you tick, what fulfils and motivates you. When you know these things, you can live a life that has these things in and lights up your pleasure centres. My work with clients is all about this which I call ‘finding your joy’. I know it can seem hard when it’s not happening but it is possible, I promise.

 

My Black Friday offer

The intention of this post was to show you that ‘stuff’ might not be the answer to your happiness. But can the same be said for experiences? In 2015, I had a whole year of not buying any stuff and spent by money on experiences instead. Wow that was a great year. And I have the photos to prove it lol.

Because I am a Hypnotherapist (I’ve started to say with knobs on because what I do is use a number of techniques to get best outcomes for my clients) what I offer you is life changing. A deep dive into self to overcome issues that hold you back and create the motivation, confidence and direction for your wonderful future.

So this Black Friday I invite you to pick up the phone, call me 07530 890089 and have your free 20 minute consultation. If you decide to book in for some sessions, you might not even notice next Black Friday as you may just be living your dream.

Sending you happy vibes.

Honey

These song lyrics reflect my work with clients I help with emotional healing

These song lyrics reflect my work with clients I help with emotional healing

In this post I am going to use songs to reflect the work I do with clients that I help with emotional healing. This is such a precious element of my work and one I am very committed to and passionate about. I want you to hear where I am coming from with my energy and intention. Though music.

There are some healers and coaches who don’t have any official qualifications and are still doing a good job!  They have natural intuition and are able to help others. And others have intuition and like to back it up with skills and qualifications. The point is when people need help with emotional healing, they need to feel they are in safe, caring hands. The relationship and trust is so very very important in this kind of work. I feel honoured when I work with people in this way.

 

I think these songs say it all.

REM – Everybody Hurts

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on)
(Hold on) if you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you’ve had too much
Of this life
Well, hang on
‘Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don’t throw your hand
Oh, no
Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone
No, no, no, you’re not aloneIf you’re on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you’ve had too much
Of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts

The Pretenders – I’ll Stand By You

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you lessI’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by youSo if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me nowHey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like youWhen you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
’cause even if you’re wrong
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You’re feeling all alone
You won’t be on your own
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you

Bob Marley – Three Little Birds

“Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”
Rise up this morning
Smiled with the rising sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Saying, “This is my message to you”
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (don’t worry)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Rise up this morning
Smiled with the rising sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Saying, “This is my message to you”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (worry about a thing, oh)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright (don’t worry)
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (I won’t worry)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright (I won’t worry)
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (don’t worry about a thing)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright

 

Nina Simone – Feeling Good

Birds flyin’ high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me.
Yeah, it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, ooooooooh…
And I’m feelin’ good.Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River runnin’ free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me,
And I’m feelin’ good Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don’t you know,
Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean.
Sleep in peace when day is done: that’s what I mean,
And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me…Stars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel..
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me
And I’m feelin’… good.

 

The message I want to get across is…

When you’re sure you’ve had enough

Sometimes everything is wrong

If you think you’ve had too much

If you feel like you’re alone

Hold on

Come on and come to me now

’cause I’ve seen the dark side too

I’ll stand by you

Don’t hold it all inside

You’re feeling all alone

You won’t be on your own

Don’t worry about a thing

Cause every little thing is gonna be alright

This is my message to you

Rise up this morning

Singing sweet songs

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me

And I’m feelin’ good

Sleep in peace when day is done

Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel..

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me

And I’m feelin’… good

 

More about the emotional healing another day but if you need to sort something out please contact me. Even if we just have a chat, it’s worth it.

Honey

Healthy eating – Day 4 -Guest blogger Claire Hunt from Worthing

Healthy eating – Day 4 -Guest blogger Claire Hunt from Worthing

Our third guest blogger is Claire Hunt from Worthing. Claire is at Breathing Spaces Garden Therapy which is a Community Interest Company in Worthing. Here Claire shares healthy eating that works for her.

Healthy Eating – 10 Things That Work for Me by Claire Hunt

 

1. Start the day with a home-made probiotic smoothie

kefir

Pictured – kefir

My digestion and health has improved massively since I started eating milk kefir for breakfast. It’s quick and easy to make your own from a starter culture of probiotic bacteria and yeast. Just add whole milk, leave for 24 hours, strain and top up again with fresh milk. I add seasonal or frozen fruit, green leaves, ground seeds like hemp, linseed or chia, bee pollen, coconut oil and almond butter. A great start to the day for your gut. I have been known to take it with me when I am away, but you can rest it in the fridge for a couple of weeks. You pass on some kefir grains to other people as they multiply. (People with a lactose intolerance would need to take advice.)

2. Reduce sugar intake

plate of fruit

Pictured – plate of fruit

I had to do this because of recurrent candida but it is increasingly accepted that sugar is bad for your health, addictive and makes us put on weight. It’s added to so many foodstuffs, even savoury ones. Refined sugar is worse, but all sugar, even naturally occurring ones, have the same effect on your brain and body, so go easy on all forms. I eat mainly low-sugar fruits, like berries and apples, and over time your sweet tooth loosens its grip. I occasionally relax the rule for something special or an occasion but I don’t enjoy really sweet things now.

3. Take a break from wheat and gluten

homemade bread

Pictured – My ‘superfood bread’

The debate about gluten intolerance rumbles on, but I found that when I stopped eating wheat and gluten grains I felt better, my digestion improved, I had more energy, and I stopped having arthritis-like pain in my hands. I love bread, pizza and pasta, so it has been hard. I sometimes eat home-baked spelt bread and quality sourdough but mainly make a substitute ‘Superfood Bread’ from ground almonds, brown rice flour and seeds (‘Deliciously Ella’). Brown rice pasta is not too bad, but on the whole I prefer to eat something else rather than feel disappointed. Beware gluten-free ready-made products, they can contain a lot of sugar, and starch that quickly turns to sugar. For reference, read ‘Wheat Belly’ and ‘Gut’.

4. Do more cooking

Tray baked cod with breadPizzas going into a cob oven

Pictured – tray baked code with vegetables and  pizzas going into a cob oven

If you want to avoid sugar, wheat and gluten it becomes inevitable that you have to do more cooking and baking so you can control what you eat. You have to find ingredients and some recipes that you love, get into a mindset that enjoys and makes time for cooking as a priority, rather than feel it is a chore. There are some great books available – Deliciously Ella, Eat Nourish Glow, Medicinal Chef. By Ella Woodward, Dale Pinnock and Amelia Freer

5. Find some go-to treats

IMG_1622

Pictured – energy balls

You need some things up your sleeve for when you need a treat. Mine are home-made muffins (Wheat Belly), fruity flapjack (Medicinal Cook)., raw cacao energy bombs and homemade almond butter (Deliciously Ella).

6. Grow and eat a rainbow

homegrown produceapple tree

Pictured – homegrown vegetables and apples

I am not vegetarian but I eat a lot of veg, when it is in its season, and trying to get as much of the rainbow into each meal as possible to cover all the different nutrients that those colours represent. I use a local veg box scheme and I try to grow some of my own. Growing, cooking and eating well go satisfyingly together and each complements the other. Mental Health Awareness Week, Offington Park Church, has a Gardening and Health theme on Monday 10th October and a Food and Mood theme on Wednesday 12th October.

7. Embrace different grains

IMG_1624

Pictured – quinoa

Quinoa is tasty once you learn to cook and flavour it well and it is full of protein not gluten. Use cold water, twice as much water as grain, and cook until all the water has gone (about 10 mins). I mix in tahini, lemon and olive oil when it has cooled and you can add herbs, spices etc to taste. I make a batch that will last three days so it is ready cooked when I need it. Buckwheat flour makes great pancakes, and you can toast the grains and then cook like rice.

8. Eat more mindfully

Instead of eating on the move, watching TV, reading a book or chatting, try eating at least one meal a day when you are fully present and doing nothing else than experiencing eating. Really notice what is happening, the smell, taste, texture. Also notice what effect different foods might have on your body and mood. Read ‘The De-Stress Effect’, Charlotte Watts.

9. Explore fermented food

making sauerkraut

Pictured – Making sauerkraut

Kefir and sourdough are fermented food but there are lots of others to try and the health benefits are well documented. I am currently making and drinking beetroot kvass by fermenting beetroots in salt water for 6 days. I have started brewing kombucha, a delicious fizzy drink made from tea. Sauerkraut and kimchi are easy to make, probiotic and tasty alternatives to pickles and chutney. Apple cider vinegar is a great way to use windfall apples and retains the goodness of the fermentation process, the ‘mother’.

10. Enjoy food

I mostly don’t feel it’s a sacrifice or that I am denying myself to avoid food that isn’t good for me. I enjoy food and drink made from good quality ingredients with time, care and passion. For more ideas about gardening therapy, food and wellness, come and see Breathing Spaces We Are Food Pioneers and other foodies and growers at Green Dreams, October 2nd, Field Place.

A note from Honey….

Thank you Claire for those fantastic ideas and pictures.

What this blog is:
  • This is a 30 day blog about health eating where different people will share their thoughts and experience
  • This is a non-judgmental place of inspiration
  • This is a place to learn, pick up tips and think about your own eating
What this blog isn’t:
  • This isn’t a weight loss plan. Although losing weight is often a by-product of eating a healthier diet! I do help people lose weight with Hypnotherapy but that is not the purpose of this blog.
  • It isn’t a place to feel regret about the situation of your health right now. Today is a chance to make changes!

 

Do you know what you are eating?

Yesterday’s product was caramel  digestives.

Can you guess today’s product from it’s ingredients?

secret ingredients

Let us know in the blog or facebook comments! I will let you know the answer here tomorrow.

Here’s the plan:

  • Read the blog each day. Get involved. comment, share your thoughts and wisdom
  • If you want to be accountable and use this as an opportunity to improve your diet and see how much better you can feel in just 30 days then go for it
  • Find me on Facebook, my website, on twitter
  • Sign up to my newsletter at the bottom of this blog for a free relaxing download and  special offers

See you tomorrow.

Healthy hug 🙂

Honey

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