Sweet and sour
The other day I heard some children talking about peoples’ reactions when they played their game of sweet and sour.
Apparently sweet and sour game is where you sit in the back of a Volvo and wave at strangers in others cars. If they wave back they are sweet and if they don’t they are sour! I heard about how one man had showed them a doughnut and another man did a salute. They thought this was great. Children find lots of ways to have fun for free.
Adults can have fun for free too. You might get some funny looks if you play sweet and sour but here are some ideas of things you can do for free.
- Go to the sea
- Take a course, there are free courses available at future learn
- Cook something or invent a new dish
- Cloud watch…….. Oh sorry I’m back. I just got distracted by some clouds!
- Put some of your favourite photos in a collage
- Read. Even if you hate reading there must be a book that you would enjoy. There are sites that find books you might like. Try whatshouldireadnext
- Music changes your mood in 3 seconds. Choose a belter and sing your heart out. These girls are funny!
- Be a tourist in your own city. I did this recently in Brighton and had a lot of fun
- Make your Family tree. Free at most libraries
- Walk in nature
- Go window shopping to see what you don’t need to buy!
- Create something. A scarf, pen pot, book, shed
- Find a group near you on Meet Up. If you can think of it, there’s a group for it!
- Watch inspiring Ted talks
- Look at some art to inspire you or make you wonder what it is!
- Explore. On foot. On a bike. In the car
- Try creative writing or even a blog
- Create a new outfit out of your existing clothes
- Watch animals
- Learn a new skill
- Try some adult colouring
- Create a mission for yourself – maybe see all the Royal Parks or local parks in your area? Visit all the libraries? Find the local markets?
- Help someone else – Radio 1 have a great thing at the moment where you can give an hour to help others
- Grow something
You will notice that most of these you can do alone. This is because if you make your own fun and happiness first, you become self-sufficient in your happiness and rarely bored and lonely.
I would love to hear your ideas of free things to do. Please add them to the comments and share them!
Here’s the plan:
- Read your gratitude list often
- Make sure Mind COP is on patrol
- Pick one list from the list, do it and see how you feel
- Feel free to share this post on facebook or twitter!
- Like me on facebook
Happy hug 🙂
Is this your Mind COP?
Yesterday you met your own mind COP by imagining what you mind COP looked like, sounds like, wears…
Maybe one of these?
Today we are going to look at how your mind COP will catch those criminal negative thoughts and keep your mind safe. For the past week you have been keeping a note of your negative mind chatter in your notebook. Now is the time to have a good look at what you have written and start working on making some changes to how that chatter might make you feel bad.
Let’s see mind COP in action.
Catch them: You’ve been catching mind chatter for nearly a week. You should have a pretty good idea of what yours is saying to you and who your criminals are.
Own them: These are your thoughts. You created them. You can acknowledge them. Consider them and choose whether to discard them or whether to arrest them.
Protect yourself: You protect yourself by arresting the negative thoughts, examining the evidence and deciding whether to charge them or give them a warning.
Here’s an example based on the losing your job example negative thoughts we looked at yesterday. Read each thought from left to right to see how Mind COP works.
|‘I should have worked harder’
||I did work hard though
||Maybe they didn’t really appreciate me?
|‘Why didn’t I take that course to learn more’
||I did a lot of development in that role
||This is a chance to learn something new
|‘I’m no good’
||Is everything I’ve ever done no good?
||I’ve achieved a lot
||With those that love me?
||I matter to the people that matter to me
||I was one of 10
||I will find a better fit
|‘I’m not clever’
||I was the problem solver
||I need a new challenge
|‘I’ll never get another job’
||Have you tried?
||I wonder what job I will love?
You can see how Mind COP is examining each thought and looking at it in a different way. One thought does not make a truth. One thought may seek evidence from the subconscious to support it, but Mind COP doesn’t fall for this.
Mind COP is objective and realizes that thoughts tell stories but their alibi is weak when questioned. Mind COP wants to hear from the witnesses and sort out those criminal negative thoughts.
You tell fibs
You see when you tell think a negative thought it’s probably not true and your Mind Cop might make this face!
So the next time those pesky criminal negative thoughts are doing a ‘wrong un’ in your mind, just see them scarper when Mind COP comes along and bangs them to rights.
Your time is precious, don’t waste it
How much of your precious life are you going to spend thinking negatively?
Think about it, how much time are you going to think about negative situations, obsess about the things that went wrong it your life, worry about things that happen or might never happen? Two hours a day? Which is 14 hours a week. Which is 60 hours a month. Which is 730 hours a year. Which is 30 DAYS A YEAR of feeling bad. What could you do in 30 days? A lot! In our example of losing the job, that is 30 days of enjoying the freedom of not working and exploring options for a new career whilst feeling happier.
Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and change. By learning to manage your thoughts you will be more resilient in the tough times and happier on the whole. You are not your past, your current situation or what people say about you. You are so much more than that and you can shine.
- Write your own table of negative mind chatter in the same format as above and set your mind COP to work
- Read your gratitude list often
- See you tomorrow
Happy hug 🙂
So today is International Women’s day. International Women’s Day is a worldwide event that celebrates women’s achievements – from the political to the social – while calling for gender equality.
It has been around since the early 1900s and is now celebrated every year. It brings together governments, women’s organisations, corporations and charities.
This year’s theme is #BeBoldForChange – You can watch a short video about what being bold means here
This got me thinking about bold women….
You’ve got women like Ellen Mcarthur the solo long-distance yachtswoman. On 7 February 2005 she broke the world record for the fastest solo circumnavigation of the globe, a feat which gained her international renown.
Or Aviator Amelia Earhart before becoming the first woman to fly an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean in 1928.
Or how about Rosa Parks, a 42-year-old African-American seamstress refused to give up her seat in 1955 to a white passenger on the Montgomery City bus.
And of course suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst who shaped an idea of women for our time and shook society into a new pattern from which there could be no going back In 1903. She staged hunger strikes and withstood violence and abuse to enable all women the right to vote.
And Malala Yousafzai who was shot 3 times in the head on a school bus in Pakistan because she had spoken out about education. She is now said to be one of ‘The 100 Most Influential People in the World’ and co-received the Novel Peace Prize in 2014, aged 17 years old.
So what makes a bold woman?
What all the women above have in common is a purpose. An inner calling to do what it is that they believe in. To be true to themselves.. These women are great women to remember this International Women’s Day. They were fully aware of their values and fully aligned to their purpose. That gave them the energy and the confidence to pursue their very different dreams and beliefs.
Now we won’t all have a purpose maybe as big as theirs but EVERY. SINGLE. WOMAN. has:
- A heart
- A purpose
- And the ability to be bold
I see it all the time in my Hypnotherapy practice. People who have let life get in the way and they’ve forgotten these bits of themselves. Then we start doing some ‘work of the self’ and there they are. Eyes brighter and sparkling, remembering those parts of themselves that they’d forgotten. Their fire ignited and that inner strength alive.
What will your bold thing be?
Being bold can be anything! It doesn’t have to change the world, it just needs to feel brave to you. How about:
If you are dealing with a phobia or anxiety it might be:
- Putting a spider out by yourself
- Driving on a motorway
- Flying without fear
- Giving a presentation
If you are depressed it might be:
- Telling someone how you are feeling
- Leaving the house
- Making new friends
- Seeking some help
If you want to lose weight it might be:
- Commiting to a date to start healthy eating
- Joining a gym
- Getting a bike
- Telling people you want to change
- Admitting to yourself you aren’t really happy as you are
If you lack confidence it might be:
- Stop being a people pleaser
- Saying ‘no’ to people who scare you
- Saying what you really think
- Starting a new hobby
- Speaking to new people
Show the world your bold!
Being a bold woman is being who you really are. Showing the world who you are. Not being afraid to be different. Not being afraid to speak up or speak out. You can be bold in your own time and on your terms.
You can have a great job, run a business, bring up children, travel, be single or in relationship. Your life can be whatever you want it to be. You might just need to be bold to make it so.
Let’s get bold together
Sign up for my newsletter here or ask me about how Hypnotherapy can help you find your bold.
Sending bold vibes 🙂
My free gift to you is happy goggles
So, today is the last day of my 30 days to a happier you blog program. It’s been amazing writing these blogs for you and sharing some of what I know about how to feel happier.
And today I have a very special gift for you. Happy goggles. To claim your free pair just send me an email and tell me which was your favourite blog and why and if you would like the men’s or ladie’s happy goggles. If you would like to read the blogs again, I’ve listed them all below for you with a summary of each.
No but seriously, I won’t be sending happy goggles obviously but as a therapist I would love to hear from you!
And you don’t need me to send you those goggles because you already have them. When you feel the need, just pop them on and see things differently. Thoughts are just thoughts which create feelings. Thoughts can only be real if the thing you are thinking is happening right there and then. Otherwise you are just thinking about something that happened or might happen and that might make you feel bad. So change your thinking and change your feelings.
Money back guarantee
30 days to a happier you – If this is the first time you’ve come across this blog or you haven’t read them all, no problem! Here they all are! The full program. Do them all and I promise you will feel different. I even offer a money back guarantee 🙂
You just need a notebook and pen, to read the blogs each day and dedicate a small amount of time each day to do the exercises. This is not meant to be another thing on your ‘to do list’. It is meant to make a difference to how happy you feel. For free!
Day 1 – you gave yourself a current happiness score out of 10 to see how happy you currently are.
Day 2 – you started to catch negative mind chatter going on in your head and made a note of it in your notebook.
Day 3 – you tried to make friends with your mind.
Day 4 – you became a mind COP by realising how much time you spend thinking negatively. You are now focused on catching those negative thoughts as they come in, owning the thought and protect yourself by realising it might not be true.
Day 5 – you did the shake N vac and started to freshen your mind with gratitude.
Day 6 – you wrote a really good gratitude list that means something to you.
Day 8 You looked at your negative mind chatter and met your Mind COP
Day 9 Mind COP came to your rescue and helped you catch those negative thoughts, own them and protect yourself
Day 10 I gave you a huge list of things to do for free to add to your happiness and no doubt you came up with lots of your own
Day 11 You thought about your USPS and made a list of your special and unique qualities
Day 12 You recognized your strengths and how playing to them will make you more you and compare yourself to others less
Day 13 I shared a list of people that inspire me and why and you had a think about who inspires you and why
Day 15 Life really is like a box of chocolates because you never know what you are gonna get. You wrote a postcard to your younger self to share some of your life lessons.
Day 16 We looked at how if you ignore a mind problem it can become a bigger problem like a tooth absess
Day 17 We looked at how feeling like a misfit is actually an advantage and you made a list people that value your uniqueness
Day 18 I gave you a video with EFT tapping to make you feel more confident in 2 minutes
Day 19 We looked at how judging others affects our own wellbeing and you have some things to do to change how you respond to others
Day 20 I gave you a free relaxing download so you can declutter your mind
Day 22 We looked at energy and you did an exercise about what feeds or drains your energy physically, emotionally and spiritually
Day 23 guest blogger Anthony Punshon filled us in on how exercise makes us happier
Day 24 guest blogger Katie Hedges shared food which make us happier and her happy hippy bowl recipe
Day 25 guest blogger Susan Ellis-Saller gave us 7 alternative ways to help bring more happiness to our lives
Day 26 guest blogger Justine Van De Weg inspired is with her artist’s view on how to be happier with creativity
Day 27 guest blogger Dawn Breslin talked about coping with uncertainty to protect happiness
Day 28 We looked at 7 things that might be draining your energy and you started to monitor possible energy leaks over 7 days
Day 29 I spoke about how you might have a thing that you need help with like depression, lack of confidence, anxiety, stress, sleep, trauma, smoking, weight, something from the past so you can move forward and be happier
You are not alone
If you are finding this difficult to do on your own, no problem, because I can help you. I work with adults and children age 5+ in person in West Sussex or on Skype round the world! My clients have significiant insights and shifts. Most clients say they wish they had come sooner.
Here’s the plan:
- Please do let me know what you thought of the program You are the reason I did it and I would love to hear your feedback. You can do that in the comments on my blogs or on my facebook page
- Get in touch if you need help. I offer a free 20 minute consultation
- Sign up for weekly newsletters at the bottom of this blog or on my website
Huge happy hug 🙂
If you fancy blogging and a bit of a challenge, there is no better place to be than Sarah Arrow’s blogging challenge
Who is Mary Kondo?
I’m currently reading ‘that’ book about decluttering. It’s called ‘Spark Joy’ by Mary Kondo. she is a tidying and de-cluttering specialist. As a Hypnotherapist, what strikes me when I read it, is how nice making space is. She is helping people have space in their house which is a great feeling.
And she helps people get rid of broken things, things from the past that are not needed anymore. And she also encourages people only to keep things that give them joy.
Do you need to declutter your mind?
There are so many synergies between a tidy home and a tidy mind. If your mind is cluttered, it doesn’t feel nice and you can’t think straight. You might feel confused, dizzy and stressed. It might affect your sleep, temper and decision making. But how do you tidy your mind and create space?
One of the most common phrases I hear from clients is ‘I think too much’. We are a thinking species and very good at it, but what they mean is their mind is so busy that they feel muddled. Their minds do not have space to organize thoughts and sort the useful ones out.
Some of the work we have done so far in this programme has helped with identifying your mind chatter and change the feelings that your negative mind chatter creates. But no doubt there will be other stuff in your mind which you may need to de-clutter to create space.
But why do you hold onto this mind clutter?
- Is it a habit and you just don’t know how to be different?
- Are you scared deep down of moving on and facing changes? If you let go of your thinking who are you really? And what might you really want? And what will you think and do instead?
- People with cluttered minds know they want to feel different and when this feeling gets strong… the feeling of wanting to move away from the bad feelings and move toward something different. That’s usually when they seek help
What would decluttering your mind feel like?
If you had space in your mind you would:
- Feel more relaxed
- Be more creative
- Feel more in control
- Have more head space to focus on the really important things
- Be able to prioritise more easily
- Be easier to be around
- Sleep better
Is your mind full of junk?
Could you imagine if you kept all the possessions you had acquired throughout your life? Your home would be bulging! You wouldn’t be able to move or clean. A good de-clutter feels good and the same is true for your mind. Some people like to talk over their thoughts with a coucellor and a lot of people have CBT and I see a lot of clients who have tried these treatments.
What’s different about Hypnotherapy is it actually changes how you feel, without talking about things for hours. It teaches you how to relax and find calm yourself after your sessions have ended. You will find a deeply calm place within in you which once you have connected with, comes automatically into your life. As if you were designed that way.
Here’s the plan:
- Experience relaxation and mind de-cluttering for free. Sign up for my newsletter at the bottom of this blog or on my website to receive a free relaxing download.
Happy hug 🙂