Sweet and sour
The other day I heard some children talking about peoples’ reactions when they played their game of sweet and sour.
Apparently sweet and sour game is where you sit in the back of a Volvo and wave at strangers in others cars. If they wave back they are sweet and if they don’t they are sour! I heard about how one man had showed them a doughnut and another man did a salute. They thought this was great. Children find lots of ways to have fun for free.
Adults can have fun for free too. You might get some funny looks if you play sweet and sour but here are some ideas of things you can do for free.
- Go to the sea
- Take a course, there are free courses available at future learn
- Cook something or invent a new dish
- Cloud watch…….. Oh sorry I’m back. I just got distracted by some clouds!
- Put some of your favourite photos in a collage
- Read. Even if you hate reading there must be a book that you would enjoy. There are sites that find books you might like. Try whatshouldireadnext
- Music changes your mood in 3 seconds. Choose a belter and sing your heart out. These girls are funny!
- Be a tourist in your own city. I did this recently in Brighton and had a lot of fun
- Make your Family tree. Free at most libraries
- Walk in nature
- Go window shopping to see what you don’t need to buy!
- Create something. A scarf, pen pot, book, shed
- Find a group near you on Meet Up. If you can think of it, there’s a group for it!
- Watch inspiring Ted talks
- Look at some art to inspire you or make you wonder what it is!
- Explore. On foot. On a bike. In the car
- Try creative writing or even a blog
- Create a new outfit out of your existing clothes
- Watch animals
- Learn a new skill
- Try some adult colouring
- Create a mission for yourself – maybe see all the Royal Parks or local parks in your area? Visit all the libraries? Find the local markets?
- Help someone else – Radio 1 have a great thing at the moment where you can give an hour to help others
- Grow something
You will notice that most of these you can do alone. This is because if you make your own fun and happiness first, you become self-sufficient in your happiness and rarely bored and lonely.
I would love to hear your ideas of free things to do. Please add them to the comments and share them!
Here’s the plan:
- Read your gratitude list often
- Make sure Mind COP is on patrol
- Pick one list from the list, do it and see how you feel
- Feel free to share this post on facebook or twitter!
- Like me on facebook
Happy hug 🙂
Is this your Mind COP?
Yesterday you met your own mind COP by imagining what you mind COP looked like, sounds like, wears…
Maybe one of these?
Today we are going to look at how your mind COP will catch those criminal negative thoughts and keep your mind safe. For the past week you have been keeping a note of your negative mind chatter in your notebook. Now is the time to have a good look at what you have written and start working on making some changes to how that chatter might make you feel bad.
Let’s see mind COP in action.
Catch them: You’ve been catching mind chatter for nearly a week. You should have a pretty good idea of what yours is saying to you and who your criminals are.
Own them: These are your thoughts. You created them. You can acknowledge them. Consider them and choose whether to discard them or whether to arrest them.
Protect yourself: You protect yourself by arresting the negative thoughts, examining the evidence and deciding whether to charge them or give them a warning.
Here’s an example based on the losing your job example negative thoughts we looked at yesterday. Read each thought from left to right to see how Mind COP works.
|‘I should have worked harder’
||I did work hard though
||Maybe they didn’t really appreciate me?
|‘Why didn’t I take that course to learn more’
||I did a lot of development in that role
||This is a chance to learn something new
|‘I’m no good’
||Is everything I’ve ever done no good?
||I’ve achieved a lot
||With those that love me?
||I matter to the people that matter to me
||I was one of 10
||I will find a better fit
|‘I’m not clever’
||I was the problem solver
||I need a new challenge
|‘I’ll never get another job’
||Have you tried?
||I wonder what job I will love?
You can see how Mind COP is examining each thought and looking at it in a different way. One thought does not make a truth. One thought may seek evidence from the subconscious to support it, but Mind COP doesn’t fall for this.
Mind COP is objective and realizes that thoughts tell stories but their alibi is weak when questioned. Mind COP wants to hear from the witnesses and sort out those criminal negative thoughts.
You tell fibs
You see when you tell think a negative thought it’s probably not true and your Mind Cop might make this face!
So the next time those pesky criminal negative thoughts are doing a ‘wrong un’ in your mind, just see them scarper when Mind COP comes along and bangs them to rights.
Your time is precious, don’t waste it
How much of your precious life are you going to spend thinking negatively?
Think about it, how much time are you going to think about negative situations, obsess about the things that went wrong it your life, worry about things that happen or might never happen? Two hours a day? Which is 14 hours a week. Which is 60 hours a month. Which is 730 hours a year. Which is 30 DAYS A YEAR of feeling bad. What could you do in 30 days? A lot! In our example of losing the job, that is 30 days of enjoying the freedom of not working and exploring options for a new career whilst feeling happier.
Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs and change. By learning to manage your thoughts you will be more resilient in the tough times and happier on the whole. You are not your past, your current situation or what people say about you. You are so much more than that and you can shine.
- Write your own table of negative mind chatter in the same format as above and set your mind COP to work
- Read your gratitude list often
- See you tomorrow
Happy hug 🙂
5 types of anxiety you can overcome in two hours with Hypnosis
Today I will explain 5 types of anxiety you can overcome in two hours with Hypnosis. In my last blog post, I showed you what you could achieve in one hour of Hypnosis but today I want to focus on the types of anxiety that I have experience of helping people overcome in most cases in two sessions.
Anxiety can really affect day to day life for sufferers. It can feel unbearable but it is relatively easy to treat. Once you are anxiety free, you can live your life without constraints.
When I refer to ‘Hypnotherapy’ here I am talking about the advanced Hypnotherapy I offer, along with other therapies like NLP and tapping. I weave these together in the best way for you so you get the best outcome.
1 – Work anxiety
Lots of people suffer in silence every day at work. Feeling anxious about the work they do, or the way they are managed or dealing with colleagues and customers. Workload and performance management drive anxiety higher and actually affect your ability to do good work making the situation worse.
And the self employed suffer too, the pressure of starting or managing a business, generating business, overwhelm or fear of failure.
Symptoms I’ve seen include sleepless nights, hair loss and weight gain. There is also a fear of speaking out at work because anxiety can zap your confidence.
2 – Children’s anxiety
The things children get anxious about may not make sense to adults, which is why parents are not always equipped to help in the best way. The issues I see for children are worries about going to school, going to sleep or staying asleep, fear of the dark, thunder and lightning or fussy eating.
These situations affect your whole family. You can forget what ‘normal’ feels like and it’s lovely when anxiety leaves your house.
Getting help for children’s anxiety can be a long and difficult journey, but there is help and effective treatment available that can change your child’s life.
3 – Social anxiety
Social anxiety is said to affect up to 40% of the general public. I wrote a popular blog post about it. Social anxiety is when social encounters or situations cause you distress and worry. Many people don’t realise they even have it, they just think they don’t like going out.
It can cause problems with relationships and make you feel lonely if you want company, but find it hard to socialise. But Hypnosis is very helpful for overcoming your social fears and once you have had a few successes, your confidence will grow, as will your social circle.
I help a lot of clients with social anxiety on Skype, because they find it easier to relax in the comfort of their own homes at the start of treatment.
4 – Public speaking anxiety
The thought of public speaking fills some people with terror and panic. They don’t just feel nervous before the speech but in the months, weeks and days leading up to it. The more they dread it, the more the panic grows.
Some people will need to speak publicly more often than others but we might all have to do it at some point in our lives, maybe:
- In an interview scenario
- In a role at a wedding; father of the bridge, best man
- Speaking impromptu (off the cuff)
- Delivering reports
- Delivering prepared speeches/presentations
- Introducing speakers
- Accepting and presenting awards
- Contributing to meetings at work
- Speaking to inspire others
5 – Driving anxiety
Anxieties around driving can range from making right hand turns, driving over bridges, driving alone at night, driving in rush hour, driving on motorways and driving abroad. These anxieties can really limit your options and stop you going to places and doing things you want to do. It limits your freedom.
When you are no longer afraid, you can begin to live.
You could change years of feeling something. Yes really. The other benefits of overcoming your anxiety are that it opens up your world. You will feel calmer, more confident and able to live a happier life.
Hypnotherapy helps you get to the root of the issue safely and overcome your fears.
The entire premise of my work is to make a difference to how you feel from the first session. One of the big things with anxiety is that people think it controls them but with a few simple techniques you can take back control.
Book for free consultation today. Text me now 07530 890089 or email me and then we’ll chat
I’ve been treating clients with anxiety for years so feel well placed to explain why Psy-TaP is the fastest treatment for anxiety. I use Hypnosis and NLP, but now I use Psy-TaP too. Many of my clients issues are related to anxiety and I now believe I have the most effective blend of treatments possible.
Meet Psy-TaP (Psycho-Sensory Techniques and Practices)
Imagine all the best therapies used today were condensed into one amazing therapy that was fast and effective and you could easily learn and take home with you? Well… introducing Psy-TaP.
** If you don’t like details skip this bit! **
Psy-TaP is a cutting edge therapy which draws on many Psychosensory based energy psychologies such as TFT (Thought Field Therapy), EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitising & Reprocessing Therapy), Havening (Amygdala Depotentiation Techniques), IEMT (Integrated Eye Movement Therapy), EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), VCRT (Visual Coding & Repatterning Techniques), NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Hypnosis, Psychotherapy, Psychosensory SATT (self-applied touch technique) and Advanced Meridian Intervention Techniques. An understanding of human systems such as neuroscience, neurobiology and biomechanics underpin its effectiveness.
It is quick and highly effective. There is more to it than tapping, because it is tailored to the individual and all the while I am calibrating your state to ensure success. There are other jaw-dropping techniques involved too.
Psy-TaP quickly eliminates emotional issues
I’m a great believer in simplicity. Why waste precious minutes, hours and days on the less fun things in life? Give me an online tax disc over that long queue in the post office any day.
Your time is so very precious. This is one of the leading principles of Psy-TaP which was created by Kevin Laye. Kevin recognised the need to change the way we approach therapy to fit in with today’s time poor society.
Kevin is an engineer at heart and so used an engineer’s approach to devising Psy-TaP. Because almost everything is a process, he broke the process of a negative emotional state down and found out how to change it.
Sort of like when you take your car to the garage, the mechanic doesn’t say, tell me everything that’s happened since you bought it. He takes a look under the bonnet and goes about fixing it as quickly as possible so you can drive it away that day.
Psy-TaP is a solution focused approach which is good news because when you want something sorted, you want a solution. You might not want to delve into the issue or go back week after week to talk it over again and again. Sometimes this can mean going home each week feeling no different or worse.
A lot of the time spent in some therapy sessions is spent talking. In a Psy-TaP session and most of my sessions the time is spent ‘doing’. I want you to feel different from the get-go. When you feel different it gives you the confidence that things that can be different. Different to what you have been feeling is good.
Psy-TaP is a smart cookie
Psy-TaP is the smart cookie of the therapy world that’s for sure. Simple to use and easy to prove. What I love about it is that it fits with the other therapies I offer so well.
Psy-TaP,Hypnosis, NLP and Reiki all merge together into a smooth blend of therapies which can cope with virtually any problem or issue. My sessions have become like a tango with a mix of quick, quick, slow treatments to fix, ease and sooth as required.
During your life your body is ‘coding’ your negative experiences and attaching emotions like fear, hurt, guilt, shame and anger to different events that you experience. The thoughts that are attached to the memory create a chain of biochemical and psychological changes. Because you are ‘coded’ certain reactions happen automatically and anxiety, phobias, stress, depression, overeating can become part of life. I change this coding so the problem goes away.
Just like that. It really amazes some people. They look at me confused or open mouthed as if to say, where has it gone? By ‘it’ I mean that anxiety they had, or the addiction, sadness, habit, fear or craving.
It is content free so you don’t need to relive the pain of the past or feel vulnerable by talking about it. When you talk about negative events of the past you are actually reliving it each time and reinforcing negative feelings. Psy-TaP focuses on the feelings rather than the memory of negative events and changes them. This is like a domino effect as everything attached to that feeling also disappears. Gone.
You are tapping into your body’s energy system and using your own energy to eliminate emotional distress at its root cause and then you feel better.
Your mind works very very quickly, there is no need for talking therapies like CBT, Psychotherapy or Counselling. This can saving hundreds and sometimes thousands on the cost of your therapy bills and allow you to enjoy your new future straight away.
Things that Psy-TaP can help you with
Because Psy-TaP understands how your brain and nervous system process information, it is able to use your own energy to interrupt the pattern you have created for the problem and get rid of it.
It can be used for:
Psy-TaP practitioners are exclusive
There are only 250 Psy-TaP practitioners Worldwide and only 46 more come on board each year, because Kevin is so keen to maintain the standard of the practitioners and service delivered.
To be a practitioner, you must be active in the field and passionate about demonstrating your desire to take your skills to the highest level.
Many Psy-TaP practitioners are doctors and it is closely linked with the College of Medicine.
We have regular refresher days and it’s amazing to be in such an positive energetic field. We are a self-supporting community with a Kaizen ‘continuous improvement’ philosophy. Some of the stories of what practitioners have ‘fixed’ and the time it took are incredible!
Being the good egg he is, Kevin has also developed the Psy-TaP Foundation which support existing causes with future goals like rebuilding a school, or providing wells wherever they are needed.
What happens in a session
Psy-TaP cracks the code of your issues. Issues that may have affected your thoughts and energy. Worrying and catastrophizing can stop you focusing on things that need to be done and enjoying your life. It gives you back control of your life.
Although you might have had the issue for many years, the treatment is fast!
Psy-TaP releases blockages within the energy system which are the source of emotional issues and/ or physical symptoms. There are different areas on your body you can tap which relate to different emotions. I will use different sequences to remove or greatly reduce the root cause of your issue.
You won’t even notice all the ‘work’ that is done in your session but you will certainly feel the effects. You will go home with tools to help you ‘maintain’ too because although the root cause has gone, you might still feel the odd flutter in certain situations. (Like having a hair cut but you still have to style it to keep it looking good or a lovely new kitchen fitted but you still need to clean it).
I teach my clients sequences that work well for them so they can maintain their wellbeing.
Get control over your state
Choosing your own state is a gift.
I talk about state a lot. It comes from my NLP Master Practitioner training days and has stuck as it’s a key principle to choosing how you feel at any given moment. It doesn’t mean shutting off feelings or being a positive person all the day. It means in any given situation, at any given time, you can choose how to feel and how to respond/react.
So having your very own techniques means you have skills on how to manage your state for life. Anxious feeling? Get rid of it. See you later sugar craving. Etc. The simple techniques allows you to have control of a negative emotion or state. I give my clients proper maintenance plans as when you are in a therapy session there is so much going on you might not remember everything you are shown afterwards.
As a Reiki practitioner, I am attuned to energetic fields. Tapping works with your body’s meridian points by tapping them with your fingers. It kind of clears emotional distress from your energy system.
That’s another thing I love about Psy-TaP, by addressing the root cause of an issue in a non-invasive way, it balances your body’s energy system and promotes your body’s self-healing ability and emotional renewal. All in a matter of minutes.
So to sum up what’s good about Psy-TaP
It’s fast. Long standing issues can be fixed in minutes.
Used by doctors.
Gives you self-help tools for life.
It’s non-invasive and uses your own body’s meridian energy system to.
It is the fastest therapy available.
Based on understanding how the brain and nervous system process information.
You are tapping directly into the energy you want to change and interrupting old patterns energetically.
Can be done content free. All you need to be able to do is to think and be capable of tuning into your own particular difficulties.
Releases blocked energy and cortisol levels are lowered.
Suitable for adults and children (children think it’s cool!).
Get in touch today to book your session and change your life
Often one session may be all that is required to set yourself free from something that has been holding you back for years.
So choose freedom and get free quick with Psy-TaP. Happy to have a chat so pick up the phone now, you have nothing to lose (except the issue).
Results may vary from person to person, no results are guaranteed and you are advised to seek out a reputable, insured and registered Hypnotherapy service like Honey Lansdowne Hypnotherapy in Worthing.
Are you hiding your symptoms of anxiety?
People will go to great lengths to ‘hide’ their issues.
A lot of people are secret eating. Hiding food in their homes, desk at work and car. Eating it when there is no one around, knowing they don’t want to be doing that but they say they are unable to stop themselves.
Then there are people suffering from depression and ‘putting a brave face on it’. Laughing and joking in company of others, but thoroughly miserable deep down.
There are people so stressed they can’t sleep properly, can’t ‘switch off’ and have virtually no relaxation time. But they continue to take on more and more, pretending everything is ok and that keeping up high ‘expected’ standards of work, parenting, relationships, appearance and home, even though it is exhausting them.
But how might you hide symptoms of anxiety?
Despite anxiety making it very difficult for some people to do things that they need or want to do in their everyday life, they employ ‘strategies’ to get through life with anxiety. Some of these strategies might be:
- Accepting invites to social occasions and then coming up with an excuse at the time of the event so they don’t have to go
- Not accepting invitations to anything
- Wearing clothing to hide sweat, rashes and other physical symptoms
- Not putting themselves in situation where they are ‘visible’, such as presentations at work
- Not making close physical contact with people in case anyone notices their sweaty palms or body
- Not engaging in conversations in case they let it slip that they have anxiety
- Avoiding enclosed spaces
- Knowing where toilets are and planning around toilets
Not being your true self is tiring
But living in a way where you are hiding your true self is tiring. You may find it exhausting. It’s almost like an anxiety about the anxiety!
When you are always thinking ahead ‘just in case’ you are also missing out on living in the present moment. Something that increases relaxation, happiness and quality of life. Can you see how anxiety and hiding your symptoms of anxiety are both placed in the future and it uses your energy thinking about things that haven’t yet and might never happen? That uses energy you don’t need to use! Energy you could use to enjoy your life now.
It’s completely understandable why you might want to hide your anxiety symptoms, but there really is no shame in anxiety. It can happen to ANYONE at ANYTIME and it is completely treatable.
Luckily mental health is being talked about more and more and public figures like Prince Harry are really helping. Let’s keep talking about it and moving towards a society where it is easy to get help and talk about things.
It’s not as simple as just saying don’t be anxious….
Anxiety feels very real ,but it’s actually your brain creating it. As a Hypnotherapist who helps a lot of people overcome anxiety for good, I can assure you that you can overcome your anxiety in just 1 or 2 sessions with me.
This week I am posting daily videos on my Facebook page so come on over and watch the videos! And please like my Facebook page while you are there so you can be the first to know of all manner of things 🙂
On some of the days I will give you tips to manage your anxiety which could help you. Let me know how you get on!
Get in touch if you need help with anxiety
If you want 121 help, please do just in touch. I would love to explain how the blend of therapies that I use (Hypnotherapy, NLP Master level and PSY-Tap) remove anxiety forever and change our life. You DO NOT need to live with panic, worry, dread or fear anymore. Or hide it 🙂
Of course the added benefit of Hypnotherapy is that it is deeply relaxing and relaxation is the complete opposite of anxiety. Once you have relaxation in your life you will want it to stay there.
Sending you calm thoughts.
Can you guess how many people have social anxiety?
Many people with problems like depression, and anxiety worry that they are odd in some way or in the minority, but it is said that one in three people suffers from depression and one in four has anxiety at any time in life.
And social anxiety is said to affect up to 40% of the general public! Social anxiety is when social encounters or situations cause you distress and worry.
So what are the signs of social anxiety?
Do any of these situations feel familiar to you?
A friend’s party
You have been invited to a friend’s birthday party but you don’t really know many people there, you have said that you will go but in the weeks and days leading up to the event you worry about it and you feel anxious about it. On the day itself you can’t go through with it and end up cancelling which upsets your friend but you would rather that than go through with the party.
A work event
Or maybe you have a work event coming up and you will need to socialise with people from work. Which feels so much harder than actually working with the same people! You create disaster scenarios in your mind of all the ways that you might embarrass yourself or make a mistake and on the day itself, you go along because you HAVE to really. But you find yourself being very quiet and leaving as soon as politely possible. When you get back to home or work you feel relived but annoyed with yourself for not showing the people you work with the best of yourself, but you just couldn’t relax at the time.
And let’s not even talk about dating! That carries a whole host of issues around worrying what you look like, where you will meet them, what you will say and maybe you are worried about eating and drinking in front of people.
And possibly the biggest scariest thing you have to face which will make you have social anxiety is public speaking. Just the thought of it throws some people into a spin. And once the day you are doing it is announced you can spend weeks sweating, worrying and working yourself into a frenzy. You might be physically sick before the event or have a mouth so dry it feels like you can’t speak at all. Your hands might feel like leaves in the wind and you might have tightness in the chest and short shallow breathing. What a nightmare!
The common themes
Most things that induce social anxiety will involve concerns about being judged by others, making yourself look silly, being self-conscious and feeling a lack of confidence. People with social anxiety disorder may worry about these and other things for weeks before they happen. Sometimes, they end up staying away from places or events where they think they might have to do something that will embarrass them.
What causes social anxiety disorder?
Social anxiety disorder sometimes runs in families, but no one knows for sure why some family members have it while others don’t. Researchers have found that several parts of the brain are involved in fear and anxiety. By learning more about fear and anxiety in the brain from a qualified professional, you will better understand why the issue occurs and then you can do something about changing it. Sometimes stress and environmental factors may play a role.
So what can you do to help yourself if you suffer from social anxiety?
There are some practical ways that you can help yourself:
- Believe in yourself
- Master your breathing. Breath slowly and calmly
- Have in mind in advance 2 or 3 interesting things to talk about. Maybe current affairs or a recent movie or something from TV. This gives you a way to connect with people without talking about yourself to begin with
- Don’t set yourself unrealistic goals such as having to talk to lots of people. Even if you attend and just speak to one or two people that is a success
- Attend for a short time. This means to have fulfilled your obligation, built your confidence for next time and showed your face
- Try and speak to someone early on. The longer you leave it the more uncomfortable you might get
- Take the focus off you by taking an interest in other people. Many people like to talk about themselves so you can let them shine
- If you are at an organised event, It’s perfectly fine to say ‘I don’t know anyone here, could you introduce me to..?’
- Most hosts will want to help because they want their event to be a success
- You could get to know people before you attend something via social media so you are not ‘going in cold’
Professional, supportive and confidential help is available for anxiety in Worthing, Shoreham and across Sussex and Worldwide on Skype
You may benefit from some professional support like Hypnotherapy to remove anxiety and gain confidence. This is what I help people with, week in and week out. I help people feel less anxious about, well, almost anything. With the anxiety out of the way, we then work on the confidence and life is very different.
So once you’ve lost your social anxiety, what do you have to gain?
- You will have a bigger network. The benefits of face to face networking are famous in business. It’s one of the best ways to build trust, create relationships, get advice and find out ‘the word on the street’. It’s a superb way to build your personal brand and credibility
- You will go to more places and have more experiences
- You will be more comfortable around strangers and as a result find it easier to make new friends
- You might do better at work by building better relationships and spending time socially with your colleagues
- You can support other people who are struggling
- You might meet the love of your life
- You will be far more confident
‘No one puts baby in the corner’
If you don’t know this line, it’s from a film called Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze wants ‘baby’ (his girlfriend) to show off her dancing. Once you lose your social anxiety who knows what you will be ready to show off?
Please get in touch for a free consultation if you want to see how I can help you come out of the corner.
Sending you confident vibes.