The secrets of slim people

The secrets of slim people

If you have ever wondered what the secrets of slim people are, your questions might be answered tonight in a show called ‘The truth about slim people’

The truth about slim people

We will get to see how two people; Anne-Marie and Yemi, manage to stay slim despite it seems eating whatever they like, whenever they like.

It is a true case of nothing being as it seems as I read the article about it.

Anne-Marie is a 42 year old mother of two who was trained as a dancer but now runs a dance classes for kids. She is 9 stone a size 8. Every aspect of her life was filmed for 5 days.

Yemi is a 37 year old father of 2, has a 32 inch waist and weighs 12 stone. His childhood nickname was ‘Dustbin’ because of his large appetite. He did a lot of sport in his younger days.

Neither of them eat ‘healthy’ food and they both at what they like in the quantity they desire. Or so it seems.

As part of the programme they both have medical test and it is found that neither of them have ‘magic metabolisms’.

The findings tell this story (see if you can spot the key ones that I, as a Hypnotherapist, will talk about today):

  • They don’t snack in the day
  • They fully satisfy themselves at mealtimes by eating what they fancy.
  • They both eat enough to feel full until the next meal.
  • Neither of them are ‘emotional eaters’.
  • They don’t drink much alcohol.
  • If they eat a lot one day, they eat less the next day
  • They unconsciously seem to balance their calorie intake
  • Anne-Marie is found to be a ‘fidgeter’. Never sitting still and using up lots of energy just ‘being her’.
  • Yemi walks at a very fast pace
  • Both sleep well
  • Both have good gut bacteria
  • Neither of them are ‘hung-up’ on food
  • They are both ‘self-regulated’
  • The conclusion from the show was that the secret to staying slim is mindset.

From the list above I am going to talk about the emotional eating aspect today.

So what is an emotional eater?

Emotional eating

It’s safe to say that an emotional eater will not see food as fuel only. If you are an emotional eater food is more of a friend that you call on when you need to feel better. When you feel negative emotions you will use food as a way to take your mind off them. Because your mind is distracted by the emotion, it means you don’t recognize when you are hungry or full so eat you fulfill an emotional need rather than a physical one.

Emotional eaters use food as a crutch rather than a source of pleasure to be enjoyed for what it is.

So what emotions might trigger an emotional eater to eat? Well any negative emotion really such as:

  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Fear
  • Sadness
  • Depressed
  • Unhappy
  • Shame
  • Tiredness
  • Dislike of yourself
  • Feeling unloved
  • Worry
  • Tiredness

 

Eating numbs the emotion and therefore feels comforting. But the bad news is after you’ve eaten you will probably feel more negative emotions about yourself like hating yourself for having no control, guilt, not liking your body, feeling fat or ugly or shame (especially if you eat in secret).

If you are unhappy being overweight, you may feel you have to wear make up to ‘hide’ yourself or even feel ugly without it and you may feel the need to behave in a way that distracts from your body which only adds to your feelings of internal discomfort. You may not be happy in your own skin.

Before you beat yourself up for what you crave and eat….

Why is it that certain foods seem to feature highly for emotional eaters? Foods like cake, biscuits, ice cream? Well your cravings can be justified for good reason. The blend of carbohydrates, sugar and fat can be delicious. A multi-sensory and temporarily satisfying experience. The feel in your mouth, the smell, the flavours and the taste exciting your senses and providing a distraction from anything else at that moment. And they are so easily available.

These type of food also provide instant gratification.

But did you know that your brain chemistry actually changes when you eat. “Carbohydrates set off a series of chemical reactions that ultimately lead to a boost in brain serotonin,” says Judith Wurtman, Ph.D., the former director of the Research Program in Women’s Health at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Clinical Research Center. The higher the levels of serotonin, the more content you feel (at least temporarily).

There have also been studies around fatty foods making people feel less sad because fatty acids can induce a signal from your gut to your brain, which may influence emotions.

So how can an emotional eater change?

Keep an emotional food diary

Keeping a food diary to track what you’ve been eating alongside what how you are feeling at the time can help you identify what triggers emotional eating.

I’ve made a food and emotion diary download for you which you can download here

Knowing what these triggers are can help you break the emotional eating habits and deal with triggers instead of turning to food.

 

How can you deal with emotional triggers?

So if you’ve done your food diary and spotted some emotional triggers for you, you need to know how to do something other than eat when they occur.

Although there are many ways that you could find something other than eat to do, it is a good idea if you try and find something that satisfies your reward centre. What I mean by that is the place in your mind that needs to feel good and satisfied (known as a reward centre). If you don’t do this, you are merely distracting yourself from the thought of wanting to eat (this strategy can work well for some people too).

If you think about how your emotions are soothed and the deep connection they have with food for a minute.

Ice cream at the seaside – this often starts in childhood. There you are having a great time with your family and your treat is an ice cream. Not only is the ice cream delicious in itself, but it anchors those happy feelings of your time at the beach probably with people you like to be with.

Popcorn at the cinema – going to the cinema is a sensory experience. you are going to watch a story that you can be absorbed in undisturbed for a couple of hours. You will see things that might be amazing and open your unconscious mind and emotions right up (think Disney or Hollywood). You then eat some sweet popcorn which anchors the experience.

Candy floss at the funfair – you are surrounded by fun and people laughing. you may have been spun round and round or been taken on a ride up in the air. Everyone there is happy and laughing. There are bright lights and your adrenaline, serotonin and oxytocin which make you excited and happy will all be in full force. The candy floss anchors the experience.

These experiences are bonding tastes and food with experiences. Your brain will want the same feeling if you don’t give it the food it thinks it wants.

So you need to get creative to think of things you can do which may make you feel good. Maybe excited or like you’ve accomplished something. Get thinking about what they might be now. What are you craving and how can you get it another way than eating?

 

If you need help

Good food choices

If you need help with your emotional eating or weight loss then I can help you by seeing you as a one to one client for 4 sessions. It is 4 sessions because we work on any emotional healing that needs to take place to allow you to move on. We work with the inner voice that damages your self-esteem and I help you to love your body (yes in its current form) so you want to care for it and nourish it. We also work on making better food choices, sugar cravings and confidence. The whole works.

If you want to be part of a group and spend 47 days working on your relationship with food, your relationship with yourself, sharing recipes, participating in challenges and listening to Hypnosis audios to help you, then you can join my next Project 47 group which starts on January 9th 2018. Please email me and I will put you on the waiting list.

Sending you some positive emotions today

Honey x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why self-care is more than a Spa Day

Why self-care is more than a Spa Day

Self-care is a hot topic and the Spa is a booming industry but I want to  explain why self-care is more than a Spa Day. Don’t get me wrong, I love a Spa and once spent a week at Champneys!

But the point I want to make in this blog is that twofold. Firstly, self-care is different things to everyone and secondly, small regular self-care is more beneficial for your mental health and more practical to incorporate into your busy life than a Spa Day..

 

What my friends said self-care is

I asked my Facebook friends of ways they self-care and here is what they said.

Jill GardnerRecognising the negative voice in your head isn’t you. And disowning it so you can be the real you ❤️

Samantha Heywood-Cox Take time to relax each day and say thank you to your hard working body
Anita Davenport Always eat nutritious food and sleep.
Esther Nagle Realising that what is one person’s ideal self care routine isn’t necessarily yours. Deep, slow breaths make most stressful situations and sleepless nights less stressful and exhausting. Forgive yourself for mistakes you may or may not have made. Realise that the critical voice in your head isn’t telling you the truth. A good night’s sleep is a great physical, mental and emotional reboot. Yoga and walking in nature are powerful ways to connect to everything that is important as well as being good for physical and mental health
Carolyn Arnold Doing anything for pleasure and not out of duty.
Clare Farthing Quarterly Spa Days at Chewton Glen Hotel & Spa. A girl can dream!!
Julie Shepherd Setting time aside for me and also saying ‘no’ to things I really don’t want to do.
Nicola Huelin Here’s a blog I wrote with ideas of 92 things you can do for self-care that take less than 10 mins and are totally free
Belinda-Jane Hunt Meditate. Be kind. Forgive.…Listen to your body.
Leslee Serdar A W. A. A. M. List (What’s amazing about me) list  Keeps the self esteem up!!

Self-care can be preventing stress

I once read that one of the biggest causes of stress is things that are broken or don’t work around the home. I agree! I’ve had a wobbly kitchen door for a long time and kept screwing it back in but it was never properly fixed and became irritating. Anyway it eventually fell off! So then I had a door-less cupboard which looked a bit strange. I had it fixed and for a couple of days kept admiring it. Who would have thought that a door could bring happiness?

And here are some practical ideas of self-care from me:

  • Back up your computer. It can be a real trauma to lose your photos or work
  • Store your photos in Dropbox or similar. Protect your treasure memories
  • Online shopping – need I say more!
  • Organise your wardrobe. Only have things that fir in your wardrobe so you don’t spend ages finding something to wear and feel bad about things that don’t fit right now
  • Sort out your finances.
  • Dal with letters ASAP
  • Keep a calendar/diary
  • Unsubscribe from emails that don’t add value to your life
  • Subscribe to something that adds value to your life. That’s my FREE 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge
  • Batch cook. Freeze some, eat some. Cost effective too.
  • Declutter your house, create space
  • Declutter your car, enjoy driving
  • Declutter your loft, never panic about finding the Halloween stuff again
  • Declutter your garage, yes you have 4 bicycle locks already
  • Declutter your Facebook friends
  • Declutter your Instagram
  • Get your books on kindle
  • Keep water and snacks in your car so you can always maintain your energy levels

And the best thing about self-care?

 child wonderment

Self-care, like rest, is time for you. You enjoy your time and your life. To feed your joy. So it’s important to know how to do that! My theory is that people with a passion in life are very lucky.
I recently went to my favourite bird of prey centre and the passion the handlers have for their birds is amazing. They look them with love and one keeper said to his bird ‘come to daddy’! How wonderful to have an interest you never tire of and you love to bits. Not quite self-care but you get my drift?
When we understand what gives us joy, what makes up feel rested and happy. We can do it as often as we like 🙂
The list of things that gives us joy and makes us happy could be endless and they could be small things. Easy to do. Cheap or free. You’ve just got to experiment and find them. Children as very good at this. They are usually open minded and experimental. They try different clubs and hobbies to see what they enjoy and what they like the most. Children usually go where the fun (for them) is!

Take a little time for self-care today

What are you going to do to nurture and nourish yourself today? I would love to hear about it in the comments or share this blog with someone you care about so they can self-care before their next Spa Day.

The working mums easy recipe for a stress free life

The working mums easy recipe for a stress free life

The working mums easy recipe for a stress free life

Do you feel stressed? Maybe you have a stressful job or you find raising children stressful. Or are you just very busy and no one really understands that stress is unavoidable for you?  Maybe you feel like stress is just the norm and you need to ride it out, wait for the children to get older or wait for retirement.

Being stressed due your circumstances is actually a bit of a myth. Some people can cope with a lot going on and not feel stressed at all. Others feel stressed more easily. The difference is the way we handle our minds; that is our thoughts and how we respond.

What is true is modern life is getting busier and busier and mind management might not be at the top of your to do list. A lot of people now make time to work out and keep their body fit as they have realised they can be stronger and healthier for longer when they do this. But the mind needs work do. It controls the body after all!

Maybe you don’t often find time to cook. There are plenty of tasty things available that you don’t need to cook right? But how about a recipe to reduce your stress? That doesn’t  take a lot of time and effort. That you have all the ingredients for already. That will be delicious when you savour it and you will be delighted that you discovered it.

 

Preparation time

You brain is constantly being reshaped throughout your life by your experiences and thoughts. You can weaken or strengthen pathways in your brain by the thoughts you have. The more you worry or stress the stronger those networks get. But if you focus on being calm or positive, these pathways can also strengthen (even when you feel overwhelmed).

There is a part of the brain called the Amygdala which manages your fight or flight response and the productions of stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. Although the Amygdala is two small almond shaped areas of the brain (the structure is actually a bit bigger) it is very important and powerful. Mindfullness and meditation are great techniques for focusing attention and awareness so the Amygdala has less control. Regular meditation settles your mind and helps you manage your emotions more effectively. Regular meditation and mindfullness practice reduce the size of the Amygdala (your brain almonds).

It should only take about 10-15 minutes a day to meditate or practice mindfullness but in my experience of treating stress as a Hypnotherapist, a lot of stressed people won’t find the time. Or they can’t do it by themselves. Or they haven’t truly felt the benefit of deep relaxation because if they had, they would want it again!

Cooking time

To change your state from stress can just a couple of minutes with the right recipe. For a deeper relaxation and to let go of what’s worrying you or stressing you takes about half an hour.

Serves

This dish is best served to those that are feeling stressed, worried or overwhelmed. If you are having trouble sleeping, concentrating or feeling any of these physical symptoms as a result of stress you need to make this recipe:

  • Heart racing
  • Sweaty
  • Red face
  • Shaky
  • Nauseous
  • Uncontrolled breathing
  • Finding it hard to concentrate
  • Dizzy
  • Upset
  • Mood swings

Ingredients

The ingredients to a calmer life are super easy to get hold of! You need:

  • A body
  • A brain
  • A quiet place (although once you’ve got the hang of this recipe you can whip it up almost anywhere)
  • A relaxation recording
  • Candles if you like that sort of thing
  • Good intentions

 

You will also need

If you would like to relax and feel good in 12 minutes you can get my free recording by signing up here. This recording will be yours to keep and can be listened to whenever you want to feel relaxed and refreshed. This is the equivalent to a guided meditation or mindfulness session.

Nutritional information

One in 4 people will suffer from a mental health issue. Prevention is key. By learning to manage your stress you will lower your chances of suffering or continuing to suffer in these areas

  • Depression and anxiety
  • Weight problems
  • Auto immune diseases
  • Skin conditions, such as eczema
  • Heart disease
  • Digestive problems
  • Sleep problems
  • Cognitive and memory problems

 

If you already suffer from any of the above you will no doubt have noticed how they are aggravated by stress.

I don’t know if you know any stressed people but you might have noticed that they can’t engage properly as they are so caught up in their own stress. They may be fractious, unsettled and rushed. Stress can affect relationships greatly.

Directions

So what’s the recipe? How do you make this stress free life?

1 – Know or admit that you are stressed. Don’t fight it. It is not a sign of weakness, in fact you are being strong by taking control of your own thoughts and emotions and managing your health to prevent something nasty.

2 – Own your stress and the management of it. This is a really important step in making changes and applies to weight loss, stop smoking and depression too. When you own your problem, you are becoming accountable and are responsible for the making things better. You will also get great satisfaction and sense of achievement once you have overcome the issue. Changes last if you own them and learn strategies and techniques for making changes yourself.

3 – Find something that works for you. There are numerous books, audios, online programmes, mindfulness classes and courses. But just like there are many types of recipe for paella, there will be some you like more than others and then you will find your favourite.

4 – If the recipe doesn’t work. Modify, find new ingredients and try again. The number of clients I get that say they tried mediation or mindfulness and it didn’t work. Then we do Hypnotherapy and they are amazed at this relaxation that becomes theirs! Once they have connected to that calm place they will want to get back to it and make it their mission to do so. Maybe with my help for a few weeks, but then I teach them self hypnosis and off they go. I give my clients personalised recordings to listen to whenever they like.

5 – Make it often. Make it your signature dish. Savour the flavour and welcome it into your life. Tell other people about it and share the fantastic flavour of calm for a more creative, productive and enjoyable life.

Summary

calm

The thing with stress is that people think that it’s part of modern life. And another misconception is that you need to be busy and ‘switched on’ to be effective. This is a complete myth as being calm and in control can give you better creativity and ideas and make you achieve much more (without the angst).

Mindfulness has become popular but Mindfulness, Meditation and Hypnotherapy have similarities in that they all work on slowing the brain down and accessing our subconcious. Hypnotherapy is different in that it can make changes in the subconcious by taking things that are not useful away like phobias, anxiety, smoking and overeating and putting more useful things in like calm and confidence. Hypnotherapy achieves a much deeper level of relaxation than the other practices.

Commit to making changes that will make you feel lighter and brighter and put you back in control. Become accountable NOW.  All the power to manage your mind is in you, you just need to learn how to do it and practice often. This can become part of your life.

This is your recipe for a stress free life. You can tweak it, add flavours and spices of your own choosing to really make it your favourite dish.

The cherry on top

If you are feeling stressed and would like to change how you feel, connect with a deep sense of calm within yourself and understand how to manage your thoughts then email me for a free 20 minute consultation. Even after 20 minutes, you will feel different!

Hug (which are known for being calming)

Honey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Which is best for you? Hypnotherapy or Counselling?

Which is best for you? Hypnotherapy or Counselling?

Maybe you are someone who has had an issue your whole life or maybe issues seem to have found you during your life, but are you someone who is considering getting help? Maybe you know you don’t ‘feel right’or you’ve had a trauma at some stage in your life which has affected you and you feel like you need some help.

I really think there are specific issues and issues that seem to join forces and make us feel bad. What I mean by that is if you have say a fear of something like flying, snakes, spiders, heights… that’s a specific issue. But issues that join forces might be things that have hurt you over the course of your life and taken some of your happy away, affected your confidence, made you feel depressed and maybe make you behave in ways that don’t make you feel good. Life feels like a bit of a struggle.

And seperate to that we have weight loss, smoking and other addictions which can be a combination of habits, addiction and root causes combined.

 You know you need help

doctor

So you feel like you need some help but how do you know who to go to?

You might go and see your doctor. Some doctors are sympathetic about such matters and others less so. your doctor may prescribe anti-depressants or ‘time to talk’ therapy which is available on the NHS. If the problem persists, they may put you on a waiting list for counselling or CBT for which the waiting list at the moment is about 8 weeks long in  West Sussex.

I’m lucky enough to know some holistically minded doctors who know that I specialise in depression and do refer patients to me for Hypnotherapy if they feel that is appropriate.

  • You might open up to friends or family and they might know someone who can help or have a friend who knows someone who can help.
  • You might buy a self help book. 561,969 and counting currently on Amazon. But how will you know which one is right for you and will really make a difference to how you feel?
  • Or you might Google something like ‘help with depression Worthing‘ and see what comes up (mostly counselling services).

The rapport with your therapist is important

I don’t know about you but I don’t air my dirty laundry to everyone! I like to have rapport and trust with someone I’m going to talk to about my problems. My advice when choosing is call them up or email them and ask for chat to see if they are the right person to help you. Do the ‘chemistry’ test. Are they the person that you will choose to hep you? you don’t want to be a someone that goes through their sausage machine of referrals, you want to be someone that they want to help make a significant difference to your life.

So what are the differences between Hypnotherapy and Counselling?

Hypnotherapy Counselling
Waiting list Around 2 weeks Around 8 weeks in West Sussex for an NHS referral
Price per session £85 £50
Length of a session 1 hour 1 hour
Number of sessions required 1-2 for anxiety, phobias and stop smoking. 4 for weight loss and depression 4 upwards
Where does it take place Face to face or on Skype Face to face, group, email, phone
How does it work Hypnotherapy relaxes the conscious mind to make changes in the subconscious (90% of the mind). Read more about this here Counselling is a talking therapy which focuses on reflecting on your experiences and understanding how they impacted you.
What happens in a session Your Hypnotherapist will relax you and put you into Hypnosis (not scary, usually pleasant) and guide your subconscious into changes things that are not helpful and introducing things that are Your counsellor will ask you questions to help you open up and discuss issues that are affecting you. Your councellor will ask lots of ‘open’ questions to help you reflect and understand things
Who is it suitable for Not Epileptics, Schizophrenics, Psychotics or people on Lithium or Halperidol Everyone
Is it safe Yes with a qualified professional Yes with a qualified professional
Is it confidential Yes Yes
Is it available on NHS Not yet! Yes
Is there follow up care Yes, often Hypnotherapists provide recordings for you to revisit for ‘maintenance’ No
Does it change your life Yes. If you have a fear of flying you can go on holiday. You can stop those panic attacks. You can get confidence. You can get slim, stop smoking… Be happy! Maybe for some
Is it suitable for children? Age 5+ but use a Hypnotherapist who has special training to work with children Yes lots of schools use counselling
Who should choose what and why? Anxiety – quick lasting changes to how you feel and how you cope.

Phobias – can be removed in minutes

Stop smoking – in 2 sessions for good

Weight loss – not a diet but a new way of nourishing your body and losing weight for good

Sleep – clear your mind and sleep better than ever

Depression – release yourself from depression and feel happier

Stress – switch off like never before, relieve stress and learn self-hypnosis for a calmer life

I think there are some matters that are very deep and personal. They need expertise and time.

Couples – relationship counselling can really help

Rape – highly sensitive

Alcoholism – expertise required

Bereavement – talking can really help (although Reiki is great for grief)

Bulimia and Anorexia – need expertise in most cases

Suicidal thoughts – call the Samaritans

Attitudes to therapy (taken from NHS website)

In 2014 the BACP carried out some research to find out more about people’s attitudes towards counselling and psychotherapy. Some of the key findings included:

  • 28% of people have consulted a counsellor or psychotherapist (up from 21% in 2010)
  • 54% of respondents said that they, a family member, friend or work colleague have consulted a counsellor or psychotherapist
  • 69% of people think the world would be a better place if people talked about their feelings more

Read more about the key findings of the BACP research (PDF, 134kb).

Charities and voluntary organisations

There are some wonderful charities and voluntary organisations really helping people with their counselling. These organisations usually specialise in a particular area, such as couples counselling, bereavement, or family guidance.

Charities that may offer counselling include:

  • Cruse Bereavement Care – provides bereavement advice and support
  • Relate – offers relationship advice and counselling
  • Rape Crisis – for women and girls who’ve been raped or sexually abused
  • Victim Support – provides victims and witnesses of crime with help and support

You may also be able to access support groups through your local community, church, or social services.

There is something for everyone

The important thing is that there are so many ways for people to get help with their mental health now. It’s not taboo to talk about it anymore. People want the longest, best lives they can possibly have and there seems to be recognition that buying things to make us feel better is not the answer. This is a short term strategy! Invest in yourself, your mental and physical health and life is better. Health is the new wealth 🙂

I see a lot of people that are using Hypnotherapy as a last resort. They’ve had counselling, CBT, psychotherapy, medication you name it. But they want to feel significantly different. They don’t want to talk about what’s been and gone over and over, they want to move on and replace those feelings with something else. They want a brighter future and a better life. The two phrases my clients use the most are ‘that was amazing’ and ‘I wish I had come sooner’. Often they have used a lot of time,  money and energy trying to ‘fix’ themselves and really could have sorted things out much sooner.

If you want help call me on 07530 890089 or email me  We can have a chat about what’s right for you.

Why sign up for my newsletter?

  • You can get every new blog sent to you if you sign up here for my newsletter and you will also get a free relaxing recording
  • You will be first to hear about special offers and other exciting things

Hug

Honey

Healthy eating – day 29 – Can Paul Mckenna really make you thin?

Healthy eating – day 29 – Can Paul Mckenna really make you thin?

Can Paul Mckenna really make you thin?

Paul Mckenna is probably the most famous Hypnotherapist in the world. It’s strange how he has almost always been part of my life from when he was a DJ on Capital FM.

I first saw Paul in the flesh in Wimbledon theatre about 20 years ago at a Hypnotherapy show. He Hypnotised my friend who was actually a sceptic that it would work!

Being a Hypnotherapist myself, I have been lucky enough to train with Paul Mckenna in person. He has Hypnotised me too; he has a lovely rich smooth voice 🙂

I am constantly in professional development. I go on about five training courses a year in person to learn new concepts and techniques to benefit my clients. I also watch lots of content and read lots of books. As I’ve recently been running a 30 day blog about healthy eating, it made sense to revisit a classic book. ‘I can make you thin’ by Paul Mckenna. Paul is Britain’s best selling non-fiction author and I would imagine that this has sold millions of copies across the world!

The book is thin!

Hazelnut latte

The first thing I noticed about this book was how thin it was. Was that a message to my subconscious? The book comes with a CD which is about 30 minutes long and Paul says it will change the way I think about food and feel better about myself. I like this approach as there are studies that suggest you need to work on self-esteem before or during weight loss, or it’s likely that you will put weight back on again.

Paul recommends listening to the CD every day for the best results. This is also an approach I use with my clients as I give them a personalised recording of their sessions to listen to during their Hypnotherapy weight loss journey.

In the preface by Ronald Ruden, M.D., P.H.D, he makes the point that food is freely available. This is important. It cannot be avoided. This means that temptation is everywhere. You can’t go in a coffee shop without being faced  with an array of cakes, sandwiches and biscuits. Even the drinks can have up to 700 calories a piece and are like meals in themselves. Caramel chocolate hazelnut latte with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles anyone?

Tackle the stress first

stress relief

It’s great that the book talks about reducing the stress that diets cause, but actually stress of any kind can trigger overeating and mindless eating. Stress would be a major factor of overeating and weight gain in my opinion and I would work on stress with all my clients. Feeling relaxed is pleasant and greatly beneficial for opening the subconscious, clearing negative thoughts and creating space for wonderful new positive thoughts and behaviours.

I didn’t like the sound of this being ‘an approach to controlling the response to hunger’ because for me, healthy eating isn’t about being hungry. It’s about eating foods which sustain you and nourish your body and reducing the amount of processed food, sugar and saturated fat that you eat.

Eat like slim people

Paul starts by saying ‘how would you like to eat whatever you want whenever you want and still lose weight’? Of course! Sounds wonderful thanks Paul. He says that this is not like other weight loss approaches and people might be angry about all the money they’ve spent on other diets!

I love that Paul has put his NLP training into practise by modelling his system on the habits of naturally slim people that he has modelled. This means he has seen what they do and used that to develop his system.

Paul says that 90% of people that diet fail! And they fall into three groups of:

Obesessive dieting

‘Forget about dieting. For ever. Diets are no more than training courses in how to get fat and feel like a failure’.

Paul says to deprive yourself of food is the worst possible way to lose weight and backs this up with a study from the second world war where people were starved and once food became available they ate up to eight times more. Even three months later.

Emotional eating

Emotional eating has nothing to do with physical hunger, but a hunger for emotional fulfilment. I like the way he suggests asking yourself before you snack if you are hungry or just want to feel different. This really brings you in touch with your physical and emotional needs. If you are hungry you can choose to eat something. If you are not actually hungry, you need a strategy for managing your emotions and changing your state. Something I always help my clients with.

He notes that sometimes weight gain follows a traumatic incident but people do not connect the two. In these incidences he suggests seeing an appropriate therapist.

I have had many clients that have worked on significant issues.  Whatever treatment you come for; I am equipped to deal.

Faulty programming

Paul actually goes so far as to say the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to go into the subconscious mind and change your relationship with food forever. I  see this differently. Many people successfully lose weight with will power which is part of the conscious mind. Many people go to slimming groups and become ‘target’ members. This means that they get to go to the same slimming group every week for life and for free as long as they stay in a particular weight range. And many do. This is what I would call an ‘away from’ strategy where the fear of putting the weight back on keeps that person slim. This works for many.

But there are many more people that lose weight in a similar way and put it back on and I get lots of those clients. We work together and yes we use the subconcious mind. We will cover reasons and triggers for overeating and change them. So you could say this is a ‘towards strategy’ which provides inspiration that things can change for good. But without being monitored and without counting calories so you can look forward to a life without the chains caused by overeating and being overweight. You will be doing it because every part of you wants to and can see the benefits of doing so. It’s exciting and life doesn’t feel like ‘being on a diet’.

Paul uses great metaphoric language to explain that learning to eat right is just like learning to tie your shoelaces or drive a car. You need to spend some time and practice doing it, but after a while it becomes second nature and you don’t even think about it very much!

Paul’s Golden Rules

golden rules

Going back to the slim people he had modelled, Paul says there are four golden rules he has identified:

1 – When you are hungry eat

This is such great advice as it stops blood sugar nose diving and stops the body panicking and storing fat it doesn’t need. He calls being hungry ‘the body’s natural call for food’ which I think is a great term for it.

2 – Eat what you what, not what you think you should eat

This chapter was excellent and covered an interesting experiment with toddlers and trusting the body to ask for what it needed if nothing was restricted.

3 – Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful

Here Paul said that he had noticed that overweight people spend a lot of time thinking about food except when they are eating it and are then busy enjoying it.

4 – When you think you are full, STOP eating

This one sounds obvious but there is evidence that it takes the stomach time to realise that it’s full. So you could be eating a lot more food than you need that time. That’s why rule 3 is a good one. By slowing down your eating you are giving your stomach a chance to realise that it’s being fed.

Programming your mind to be slim

juicy plums

As a Hypnotherapist this was my favourite part of the book! I love how Paul talks about the power of our imagination. He gives an exercise to demonstrate how your imagination is so powerful you can imagine tasting chocolate cake and also something disgusting happening to that cake.

He also how words can ‘sell’ food. I just found this description of plums on the Waitrose website! 
‘Sweet, juicy plums are truly a treat. The most popular varieties combine honeyed sweetness with a hint of acidity that makes them useful for cooking as well as eating just as they are’. This is a great tantalising description of a plum 🙂

I love the way Paul talks about focusing on what we do want rather than what we don’t. As I mentioned earlier, this is a ‘toward’ strategy, rather than an ‘away from’ strategy. ‘Toward’ strategies have much more long standing power than ‘away from’ as they are driven by inspiration and hope, rather than fear and hurt.

If you put a picture of yourself overweight on your fridge you are in fact focusing your mind on a negative image. It might make you feel bad and this is not a good starting place for your weight loss plan that will need your focus and effort.

You need to create a positive self-image

Paul talks about how important it is to work on your self-image. He describes it as ‘the blueprint that determines everything about you, from how motivated, intelligent and confident you are willing to let yourself be’. This gave me tingles because I cannot tell you how many clients I’ve had who are so talented, clever, kind, whatever, but lack a positive self-image.

I work with my clients to improve their self-image. This is what I call ‘work of the self’ and it changes lives. Nothing really changes except how the person feels about themselves, but it can change everything. 

I like the example Paul gives of someone who is not classically attractive but their self-confidence makes them attractive to others. And this reinforces their own feelings of feeling attractive so is self-fulfilling.

You can 100% change your self-image.

Paul goes on to cover visualisation, emotional eating, exercise, motivation, craving and questions and ends by reminding readers that ultimately they need to take action to make being thin a habit.

In a nutshell

nutshell

On Amazon this book these questions are asked when selling this book:

Would you like to eat whatever you want and still lose weight?
Would you like to feel really happy with your body?
Are you unable to lose those last 10 pounds? Do you find it difficult to say no to second helpings?
Do you get disheartened about your eating habits and your weight?
Then this amazing book and CD can help you!

I think this book could live up to these promises for some people, especially as it has a CD to listen to with it as a book alone is unlikely to make these changes.

But for those who need the personal touch and a customised Hypnotherapy weight loss plan or Hypno Gastric Band, please get in touch. I also offer a 4 week unique ‘go sugar-free programme’ which I have been running Worldwide on Skype for 3 years.

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Honey

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