My limiting belief about parking tickets

My limiting belief about parking tickets

How I got my limiting belief about parking tickets

A few years ago someone told me that if you don’t fit your whole car in a car park space (including the tow bar) that a traffic warden could give you a parking ticket. So for years I have sought big enough parking spaces to make sure I could fit my whole car in them. It only occurred to me today that I had lived by this ‘rule’ without even checking if it’s true!

The point of telling you this is that quite often we make ‘rules’ for ourselves which we then then strictly live by. And most of the time they are complete nonsense but stop us doing so many things that we could or would do. These ‘limiting beliefs’ can seriously alter the course of your life, stop you taking opportunities and stop you fulfilling your potential.

Can you imagine how much time and petrol I have spent finding spaces when I could have parked in the first one I saw. Limiting beliefs do this. They stop us getting things we want or need. They ‘block’ us.

Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we make them true for ourselves.

Here are some common limiting beliefs that you may have

Confidence

The first limiting belief that stops you being confident is ‘I’m not confident’. So I ask you? Were you a confident child? Are you not confident in all situations? If you are not confident in social situations but you are confident in your profession or parenting, then maybe it is not true that you are ‘not confident’. Once you overcome your limiting beliefs about not being confident you will be amazed how much confidence you have!

Weight loss

Two common limiting beliefs I hear people say when they come for Hypnotherapy for weight loss are ‘I have a big appetite’ and ‘I can’t lose weight’. Well if you believe these things your body will believe them too. Especially as your brain and stomach are in constant communication (with the stomach being called the second brain). So all the time you believe these beliefs you are unlikely to lose the weight you want to lose. Your brain also likes negativity! So you need to ditch negative limiting beliefs to achieve your weight loss goals.

Depression

Of course depression feels very real and it would be hard to think that you have beliefs around depression. But as this is a subject I specialise in as a therapist, I can say with confidence that you may have beliefs along the lines of ‘I can’t enjoy my life’ or ‘I will never be happy’ or ‘I’m not lucky in life’. These are beliefs that will keep you stuck and they are not always easy to overcome on your own.

Anxiety

When you are put in a situation that clashes with your limiting belief this may make you feel anxious. Imagine your limiting belief is that you can’t talk in front of a group and then you are given a presentation to do at work. This causes a lot of people a lot of anxiety to the extent that many people even have panic attacks. Imagine swapping the belief that you can’t talk in front of people to ‘I can talk about anything to anyone’ What would that be like?

Motivation

If you believe that you can’t be motivated, that will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may let opportunities pass you by, believing you will lack the motivation to do them. You may see other people moving on, doing things you wanted to do. And the truth is they are no different to you but they just don’t hold the same belief around motivation.

Love

If you have lived then you’ve probably loved and maybe been hurt. Quite often this will give you limiting beliefs like ‘I will get hurt’ or ‘no one will love me like I want to be loved’. These are ingrained by your experiences and the pain you felt. With a bit of work on yourself you can overcome these thoughts and feelings.

Money

The limiting beliefs around money are vast! You may have inherited some like ‘it’s wrong to waste money’ or ‘you have to work really hard to make money’ or even some that make you feel guilty about having money. These will hold you back in your career or your business. You need to believe that making money is ok, that you deserve money and that you don’t need to feel guilty about having it or spending it.

Relaxation

Half the job of relaxation is believing that you can! I hear this a lot in my Hypnotherapy practice, people say ‘I can’t relax’ or ‘I can’t meditate’ and so we do some work and then they are soon deeply relaxed. And once that has happened, that belief is soon out the window! My top tip for anything is believe you can and you are halfway there.

 

Finding your limiting beliefs

find your limiting beliefs

Identifying your limiting beliefs can be a big piece of work and NLP can be very useful for identifying them and overcoming them. You can read about NLP here. Basically, we all create our own ‘map of the world’. Our map is what we believe is the way it is, how it should be and how people are and should be. This ‘map’ is created by our own experiences and beliefs we absorb and inherit from others.

 

If you want to start looking for them then look out for things you think or say that begin with:
  • I can’t
  • I must/mustn’t
  • I am/am not

We can unknowingly hide behind our limiting beliefs and subconsciously use them as excuses not to push ourselves into uncomfortable situations (which is where we grow the most). We can also use them to protect ourselves from fearful situations. i.e. if your belief is that you don’t ‘fit in’ you will most likely avoid situations where you socialise and therefore avoid your fear of ‘not fitting in’.

 

Some of the most common limiting beliefs are below. Can you identify with any?
  • I’m too old, too young, too fat, too out of shape, etc.
  • I’m not clever enough
  • I’m not outgoing
  • I can’t do that.
  • I don’t have confidence
  • I don’t have enough skills or talent
  • I am not motivated
  • I’m terrible at managing my time, money, etc.
  • I make too many mistakes
  • Successful people have more drive than me
  • I’m a failure
  • I’m a slow learner
  • I don’t fit in
  • I’m unloveable
  • I procrastinate too much
  • I don’t have time
  • I’m too old to try that
  • I have too many responsibilities

 

And of course, the big one that can make or break a life is ‘I’m not good enough’. I just want to tell you now that YOU ARE.

 

I can help you break through your limiting beliefs and living the life you really want

im possibleIf you want to explore your limiting beliefs or indeed yourself, please do drop me a text or email and let’s have a chat about introducing you to you 🙂

 

Sign up for the free 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge

I’ve seen enough ‘frazzled’ clients to understand that prevention is always better than cure when it comes to mental health.

You might want to sign up for my free 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge which is an easy to follow plan for busy people. Just sign up here

Sending you anything is possible vibes.

Honey

x

Does your fear of flying make holidays a nightmare?

Does your fear of flying make holidays a nightmare?

Does your fear of flying make holidays a nightmare?

Are you a nervous flyer? Is it the fear of being out of control or the fear of crashing that bothers you? You are not alone; it is estimated that 1 in 6 people have a fear of flying. And the extent of the fear can range vary greatly:

  • Worrying about an upcoming flight
  • Feeling nervous and shaky at the airport
  • Crying, shallow breathing and intense fear on the flight
  • Panic attacks in the lead up to or on the flight
  • Fear so great it stops you flying at all

Sometimes the fear can have been in place for a long time or even a lifetime which makes it hard for you to believe that you can get rid of it. But you absolutely can! Hypnotherapy is well known for helping people overcome fears and phobias and it is very effective as a treatment to remove fear of flying.

The treatment I offer is a mix of Hypnotherapy, Psy-Tap and NLP for very powerful and permanent results. And happy holidays! Often the fear can be removed in one session, two at the most.

Often flying is not the fear

The unconcious mind will always act in what it believes to be in your best interest to keep you safe. It can link unrelated events to fears and phobias and your concious mind doesn’t know or recognise this,  but you know you are scared even if you don’t understand why. Removing fear of flying or other fears often has more benefits than just being able to fly without fear. You will feel lighter, happier and more free than you have in a long time, because you have offloaded and gained confidence that you can overcome issues.

What adventure would you love to experience if you no longer had a fear of flying?

Taj Mahal

Is there somewhere you’ve always wanted to go on holiday?  See the Grand Canyon, the Great Barrier Reef or the Taj Mahal? Or relax in Thailand or see the big five in Africa?

 

 

Or maybe you want the dream honeymoon without the nightmare flight?  Or maybe you’ve been invited to a wedding or celebration abroad and would love to go? Or maybe you’ve got your eye on a job which has international travel and your fear of flying has stopped you going for it?

 

family reunionOr maybe you have family abroad and you would love to visit them, see where they live and spend time hanging out with them and their friends and family. In 2017 distance shouldn’t be a problem to nurturing those valuable relationships and neither should a fear of flying.

 

 

 

I can help you overcome your fear of flying very easily

I use Hypnotherapy, Psy-Tap and NLP to help you rapidly and effectively overcome your flying phobia, no matter how extreme. You will be booking your adventure soon after your session/s.

Although every client is unique, fears and phobias stand together as FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real. The brain doesn’t know the difference between fiction and truth so whether it’s a fear of flying, spiders, heights, public speaking, confined spaces or whatever, the theory of the treatment is the same.

To book your appointment and start your life of adventure please get in touch by email 

I can see you in my Hypnotherapy practice in West Sussex which covers the areas of Worthing, Lancing, Shoreham, Brighton, Ferring, Findon and Angmering or Worldwide on Skype in the comfort of your own home.

If you know someone that you would love to come on holiday with you but they won’t because they are scared of flying please share this blog with them.

Don’t let anyone put you on the scrapheap

Don’t let anyone put you on the scrapheap

Do you know what Faberge eggs are? They are jeweled creations made by Carl Faberge between 1885 and 1917. Each year one was made as an Easter gift for the Russian Tsars Alexander the third and Nicolas the second.

The eggs are all completely different and individual and made of the finest most precious metals and jewels. About 43 still exist today and can be found mostly in the Kremlin Armoury in Moscow and the Faberge museum in St Petersburg. Faberge’s work was mostly inspired by nature  particularly birds and flowers.

Each egg opens up to reveal a special surprise, let’s look at a couple of examples…

The Coronation Egg Faberge 1897

Made from lattice gold with the date visible under a large diamond and styled on the empress’s outfits. The surprise of the egg was a 7cm carriage inside which even had tiny curtains engraved on the windows and an opening door with a handle the size of a grain of rice.

The Orange Tree Egg Faberge 1911

Orange tree Faberge egg

This egg looks like a tree with it’s carefully constructed leaves, branches and flowers. But the surprise is that there is a keyhole and a tiny lever hidden in the leaves which reveals a bird that waves his wings, turns his head, opens his beak and sings.

The Faberge that was nearly put on the scrap heap

In 2014 an anonomus man bought a Faberge egg for £8,000 and intended to sell it for scrap. He didn’t know what it was or understand its history. It was made for Emperor Alexander the third and once identified, sold for £20 million. The collector saw its beauty and understood its worth.

You are precious and unique

The point of this post is that not everyone sees the value or the beauty of the same thing. Someone nearly scrapped a Faberge and someone else paid £20 million for it.

So think about yourself. When have you taken someone’s opinion of you or rejection of you to heart and thought that means you are not beautiful or valuable? Or special. You need the right combination of you and people who really ‘see’ you and value you. People who see your finer detail, your jewels, your sparkle, your priceless qualities.

So don’t let one or two people take that away. Move on and spend time with people who treat you like you are the most amazing Faberge egg they have ever seen. And forget about the ones that don’t.

 

This blog is one in a series about self-development and ways to help you manage your mental health. I’m providing techniques and advice a  Hypnotherapist and coach working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you answered a couple of questions about how you would live your life given less time to do it. how was that for you? Anything that you have realised you want to do?

 

Your ‘Faberge’ list

For today’s list please make a list of what makes you individual and unique and what your special surprise is (like a Faberge egg).

 

Why I treat my clients like Faberge eggs

Sometimes people come to see me in my Hypnotherapy practice and they’ve lost their sparkle. They’ve had their special surprise knocked out of them by life and people. I see them like Faberge eggs. Each person with their own unique qualities, surprises , skills, hopes and dreams. And I see it as my job to help them feel like that about themselves too 🙂

If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch on 07530 890089 or at hello@honeylansdowne.co.uk

Honey (Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).

x

 

 

 

 

 

How to calm your unsettled mind

How to calm your unsettled mind

Is your mind unsettled?

Settled is a nice word. We settle babies when they are restless. We settle down into families, house, places, jobs, gym routines, diets.

But being unsettled in not nice. Particularly if it’s your mind that feels unsettled because somehow your mind feels like it affects everything about you. If you have a toothache, it’s unpleasant and painful but it doesn’t upset your whole body. It’s isolated to your mouth and your mouth feels ‘unsettled’. You just want it to be ok and ‘normal’ again.

But when  your mind feels unsettled, it will affect all of you. Your mood, your energy, your ability, your communication and it might make you feel very restless and uneasy. Maybe physically sick or dizzy and you want to escape these feelings but you can’t because it’s your mind and you are stuck with it.

The symptoms of an unsettled mind:

Disturbed sleep

An unsettled mind makes for an unsettled sleep. The brain likes to empty itself of anything unnecessary during sleep. But if your mind is unsettled you might find yourself tossing and turning in bed when it’s time to go to sleep. Or you might be able to get to sleep but wake in the night and find it difficult to go back to sleep. This can be very frustrating and the more you get frustrated the harder it is to get back to sleep. Or maybe you know you operate best on 8 hours of sleep but you keep waking up early before your alarm goes off and you can’t get back to sleep.

Unable to concentrate

You know how this feels. You want to do something but you don’t know what. When you feel negatively aroused your brain can go into a survival state, looking and listening for danger so it can keep you safe. The problem is that if your brain believes there is a danger lurking it will want to concentrate on that, not what else you want it to do. This can actually turn into an anxious state. If you are focused on feeling anxious or unsettled, it’s unlikely you will be able to focus on anything else. The more you worry about not being able to concentrate, the more you flit from thing to thing, not achieving much at all. Sometimes you are better to just give yourself a break. Do something that will make you feel better rather than one of the things on your to do list.

Appetite

Appetite can go either way when people have unsettled minds. But whether you overeat or under-eat the likelihood is that you will make bad choices. It’s unlikely you will feel as in control of your eating as you would like to be. When you feel strong of mind and in control, it is easy to meal plan and create healthy food to nourish yourself.

Confidence

When your mind is unsettled you won’t feel your confident self. You will be distracted and you will not have your full power. Because you feel less confident you might withdraw. This could give you time to heal but sometimes the right people can help lift you up. Help you understand that this will pass and you can get control back.

Here are some things you can do to settle your mind:

calm water

1 – Give yourself a sense of control. Do something easy and small which helps you feel back in control.

2 – Relax. Reassure your mind that there is no reason to worry.

3 – Be kind towards yourself. Life is full of challenges and this means that we will feel unsettled from time to time so ride it out and it will pass.

If feeling unsettled is not an ‘every now and then’ occurence and it is causing you a problem. Get in touch and we can work together to settle your mind and give you techniques for the future.

This blog is one in a series about self-development and ways to help you manage your mental health. I’m providing techniques and advice a  Hypnotherapist and coach working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of your favourite sounds. Are you going out of your way to listen to them to bring more joy into your life?

Your ‘getting ‘settled’ list.

For today’s list try to write a couple of things down that would make you feel more settled or things you can tell yourself the next time you feel unsettled. Then you have something to refer to in the future.

 

If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch on 07530 890089 or at hello@honeylansdowne.co.uk

Honey (Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).

x

 

 

 

 

What is the difference between Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness?

What is the difference between Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness?

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness?

In October I was at two Mind, Body, Spirit events speaking about Hypnotherapy and delivering a Hypnosis workshop. Both times I Hypnotised about 40 people and help them let some worry go and feel good about themselves. The feedback was good and I met some lovely people and bought a lovely Tibetan singing bowl (which I will write about separately another time).

The Grand Hotel BrightonMind Body Spirit

One question that came up several times was how is Hypnotherapy different to Mindfulness, so I thought it would be good to answer that in full. Hopefully this table will allow you to compare the two therapies.

Hypnotherapy Mindfulness
What happens? Hypnotherapy is delivered by qualified Hypnotherapist who will use language and other techniques to relax your conscious mind and communicate with your unconscious. A mindfulness practitioner or audio recording will use language to bring your attention to the present and think less about other things.
Can you do it yourself A good Hypnotherapist will teach you self-hypnosis. I use the example of a Hypnobirth client who has to know how to deeply relax when the need arises! Yes, lots of people do it themselves but lots can’t or don’t make the time to.
Where did it originate In the 18th Century, an Austrian named Frank Anton Mezmer was credited with the discovery of hypnosis. Mezmer would hold large healing ceremonies at his estate.

 

In 1840 a physician named James Braid made hypnosis accessible to the medical community and many other physicians began to incorporate hypnosis into their practice. Dr. James Esdaile was one such physician, he performed over 2500 surgeries in Calcutta, India using hypnosis for anesthesia.

 

In 1950, both the British and American Medical Associations declared hypnosis to be a useful therapeutic tool.

Mindfulness has its origins in ancient meditation practices.

 

It originated in India.

 

The founder of modern day Mindfulness is Jon Kabat-Zinn who founded the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in the late 1970’s.

Who offers it Qualified Hypnotherapists Mindfulness Practitioners
What does it feel like Deeply relaxing in the mind and body with long lasting connection to your ‘calm place’. You will be able to move but you probably won’t want to. You are not asleep and can even have your eyes open during hypnosis. Relaxing in the mind and body with connection to your ‘calm place’. You will probably have your eyes closed but are not asleep.
What are the benefits Relaxation

Better breathing.

Better sleep

Reduce stress.

Connect to unconscious mind

Make long lasting changes

Resolve issues.

Increase motivation.

Goal attainment

Increase confidence

Own your mental state

 

Relaxation

Better breathing

Better sleep

Connect to unconscious mind

Be aware of the present

Connection to self

Reduce stress.

Own your mental state

 

How much does it cost Between £65 and £100 a session with between 2 and 4 sessions required. Between £10 and £25 a session with the average course lasting 6 to 8 sessions.
Where does it take place? In Hypnotherapist’s therapy room or on Skype. Widely available and usually in a group in a therapy practice or local hall.
Is it safe for children? Yes, but I would recommend that the Hypnotherapist has special training to deal with children Yes, mindfulness has been introduced to many schools with fabulous results
What it is A mental state where the conscious mind is relaxed and the unconscious is present. A relaxing feeling where different solutions can be found to problems and issues to make permanent changes for the better. A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.

 

What is isn’t Stage Hypnosis A mechanism for making pyschological and behavioural changes
What’s good about it Hypnosis accesses the unconscious mind where everything is stored, including our past experiences that affect our behaviour and emotions. If you have negative behaviours or thought patterns they will be because of something stored in your unconscious mind. For people looking for a way to relax, it is a superb practice. It can ease stress and give you a better sense of yourself. It also helps with worry as it focuses your mind on the present.
What’s not good about it Some people are worried that Hypnotherapy will make them do something they don’t want to do, reveal secrets or control their mind. None of this is true. Stage Hypnosis is very different to Hypnotherapy. It doesn’t make changes in the unconscious to help with unwanted behaviours.

 

There are mindfulness books, videos, audios and online courses to help you gain the knowledge, skills and techniques to boost your mental wellbeing and make mindfulness part of your overall approach to life.

What can it help you with? Relaxation and finding inner calm

Increasing confidence

Increasing self-esteem

Lower anxiety

Weight loss

Stop smoking

Phobias

Reducing stress

Improved sleep

Goal achievement

Resolving issues

 

Relaxation

Finding inner calm

Reducing stress

Living in the present

 

 

Is it approved? Hypnotherapeutic treatment has been approved by the BMA (British Medical Association) as a form of ‘orthodox’ practice (as opposed to complementary or alternative medicine) for over 70 years. Widely supported by the BMA and NHS.
Where can I find out more information? Call me on 07530 890089 or email me for a free consultation. We can discuss your issue or requirements. To experience relaxation go to my free relaxing recording here. There’s a nice 2 minute video on mindfulness here

 

So what is it that you are looking for?

I hope the comparison of Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness is useful and gives you an insight into both practices. It might be that you are reading this because you want to manage your own mental state better. I just want you to know that there are lots of ways you can manage your own mental state and it is important for you to do so. You help prevent or help depression or anxiety Yes, really!

I’m currently doing daily videos on how to manage your own mental state over on my Facebook page. It would be lovely to see you there 🙂

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Namaste.

Honey

x

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