Why every thought is a choice

Why every thought is a choice

Why every thought is a choice

It’s 2017 and our lives are full of choice. Have you ever thought about how many choices you make in a day? Let’s take a look!

  • Whether to get up or have another five minutes in bed
  • What to wear
  • What to have for breakfast
  • Which route to take to school run/work
  • Which piece of work to tackle first
  • Which emails to reply to first

And so it goes on…

Then you’ve got choices of what to eat, what to buy, what to watch, what to read, who to be friends with, who to talk to, what to read, where to work, work holiday to take… the choices are endless. And let’s not talk about how you want your coffee ūüôā

Choose how you feel by changing how you think

But do you ever take time to choose how you think which in turn creates how you feel? This isn’t about turning your emotions off. We need emotions as humans. It’s about understanding that a thought creates a feeling. So if you get caught up in feeling bad, low or depressed and you know that your thoughts are creating these feelings, this gives you the¬†choice.

The choice whether to continue thinking them and feel bad or the choice to have different thoughts and feel different. 

 

Change your story

change your story

Aren’t thoughts amazing anyway? A thought is an invisible thing that can be an idea, an anxiety, hold anger or make you feel completely rubbish. A thought can be ¬†from the past, present or in the future! Thoughts change worlds and create inventions. Thoughts are humans most powerful asset!

When you have a thought that makes you feel bad it will be because it is attaching itself to a story. A story that you hold in your unconcious mind and connects itself to the thing you feel bad about. When you have the thought, you recall the story unknowingly and your unconcious will also search for other evidence to back it up. Even the silliest little thing that your brain has somehow connected to that story.

For example:

If you are feeling like things don’t go right for you and feeling down about it, you will recall all the times where you think things don’t go right for you and look other times things didn’t go right (or how your brain thinks they didn’t go right if it has aligned that belief to a situation).

It will also look for all the times people said that¬†you didn’t do something right, because your very clever brain is looking for evidence and your unconcious mind has a record of everything that has ever happened in your life. No matter how bad you think your memory is, your unconcious knows! This is how people are able to recall things in Hypnosis when their unconcious mind is fully present.

The choice is yours

So the choice you can make is when you feel yourself slipping into negative thoughts to catch yourself. Stop yourself from falling back into that story which isn’t true and choose a different thought instead.

You can change how you feel about being trapped by emotional pain and not liking yourself if you change your story. Now this might sound impossible and if you need help breaking free from the stories that keep you trapped, then I can help you.

Now here we have looked at how our minds can be naughty and focus on negative stories, but we didn’t cover how our amazing minds can be so powerful when they are being positive! So how about creating some new stories where you are happy and vibrant and looking forward to your day/week/year/life!

 

This blog is one in a 30 day series about self-development and practical lists we will be making to enhance our lives. I’m using these blogs to provide coaching and advice in my capacity as a qualified coach and Hypnotherapist working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of some smoothies you might want to try. Have you got the ingredients yet?

Your thought choices list

Today list is to try and catch negative thoughts as they arise and write them down. You might be surprised how different they feel when you write them down.

 

See you tomorrow.

Honey ( Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).

x

 

5 great smoothie recipes you’ll want to try

5 great smoothie recipes you’ll want to try

5 great smoothie recipes you’ll want to try

Earlier this week I blogged about easy ways to eat more healthily. One of the suggestions was by having smoothies. Before we look at 5 nutritious smoothie recipes, let’s cover some smoothie basics.

The reason healthy eating interests me is I am ¬†a Hypnotherapist so I work with people’s minds but in many cases, treatment is about the whole person; mind, body and spirit. I like to keep fit and healthy on a personal level so you could say I have a healthy interest!

How are smoothies different from juices?

Juices extract the liquid and nutrients from the produce that you are juicing and leave behind the pulp. This means you end up with a thin juice, full of nutrients. You should include more vegetables than fruit in your juice or it will be laden with fruit sugars and this will affect your blood sugar. There are different levels of juicer depending how serious you are. The leading person in the juice industry is Jason Vale and he offers free juicing programes several times a year.

Smoothies blend the produce to a thicker consistency and there is no left-over pulp. Smoothies you buy in the shops are often full of sugar from the high fruit content and less nutritious than the ones that you can make for yourself.

What can you put in your smoothie?

Smoothies are a good way to bring healthy foods into your diet easily as no cooking is required! You just whack it all in a suitable blender (some people swear by the Nutribullet. And the¬†Vitamix is the Rolls Royce of the blender world) and it’s ready to drink/eat.

Smoothies can keep you full for hours if you include protein. Your body will love the fibre, vitamins and dense nutrients.¬†You could get your 5 a day in one hit (although it’s now thought we should be aiming for 7-10 portions of fruits and vegetables a day).

Once you start ‘smoothi-ing’! You might want to start create your own recipes. Here are some ingredient ideas. Make vegetables the main ingredient, add some fruit for sweetness, a supplement or two of your choice and a protein to keep you fuller for longer:

Vegetables and fruit

green smoothie

Vegetables

  • Cucumber and celery both provide a lot of juice and are full of nutrients
  • Coconut water which is full of electrolytes or coconut, oat, rice of almond milk.
  • Leaves such as lettuce, rocket, kale and watercress (did you know watercress contains lots of vitamin c)
  • For the brave – cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, sprouts which all all very good for removing toxins and providing vitamins and minerals.

 

Fruit

  • Pineapple (reduced inflammation)
  • Blueberries ‚Äď (said to improve memory)
  • Apples & Pears ¬†(which are also good for good digestion)
  • Lemons and Limes¬†(which help alkalise the body)

 

Supplements

You can add lots of healthy supplements to smoothies too such as:

  • Bee pollen is full of enzymes, vitamins and minerals.
  • Aloe Vera¬†has¬†antiviral and antibacterial properties.
  • Supergreens are nutrient packed dark green vegetables.
  • Chia seeds are loaded with nutrients and¬†are among the healthiest foods on the planet.
  • Flax seeds are full of omega essential oils and are also good for the digestion.
  • Goji berries contain a wide range of antioxidants, amino acids, vitamins and minerals.
  • Raw Cacao is a top source of antioxidants and contains an abundance of magnesium and iron.
  • Acai is high in antioxidants and Omega-3 oils.
  • Maca powdera is a mineral-rich food supplement powder.
  • Probiotics such as kefir to keep your gut healthy.

A great place to get healthy supplies from is Healthy Supplies. They are based in West Sussex.

Protein

You can also add some sort of protein as if you include a protein you will stay fuller longer and protein is particularly beneficial after a workout. Some good proteins for smoothies are:

  • Avacado
  • Hemp protein
  • Pea protein
  • Whey protein
  • Peanut butter
  • Natural live yoghurt

 

Here are 5 great smoothie recipes you’ll want to try

  

 

This blog is one in a 30 day series about self-development and practical¬†lists we will be making to¬†enhance our lives.¬†I’m using these blogs to provide coaching and advice in my capacity as a qualified coach and Hypnotherapist working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of  chunks of your life and what they might be called. Did anything on that list surprise you?

 

Today’s list:

Today’s list is one of your easiest ways to health. Just make a list of the smoothies you are going to have this week and the ingredients you need to buy to make them. If you make a delicious smoothie of your own or already have a recipe to share, please put it in the comments. We would love to try it!

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

 

What to do if you hate your life and feel depressed

What to do if you hate your life and feel depressed

What to do if you hate your life and feel depressed

There are many reasons that you feel like you may hate your life and in my experience as a Hypnotherapist with a specialism in helping people with depression, I see themes in the cause of people feeling like this. I have an established way of working with people that feel this way and in about 4 weeks time they feel completely different.

So what are the themes?

The themes tend to be:

  • Being trapped by emotional pain
  • Being stuck in a situation that doesn’t feel right
  • Being caught in a cycle of behaving in a way that is not beneficial
  • Not liking themselves
  • Feeling unfulfilled or uncertain about what it is that they want

 

Although they never feel like it to the person concerned, these reasons are good news! All the things on the list above can be ‘treated’ and changed. With these things out the way, a new life emerges. A life that is possible, ‘doable’ and enjoyable.

There is magic around you everywhere

But you’ve got to want it. You’ve got to take action an be open to making changes. There is no magic wand, but there is magic around you everywhere. And with your issues and barriers out the way, you will see the world differently. Your experience will be different. People will¬†seem different. Life will¬†seem different.

Some magic you might not have thought about recently if you think that you hate your life:

  • The magic that is reproduction! Isn’t that just amazing? That¬†new people and animals are made all the time!
  • Nature! The way things grow when and where they should and that nature also gives us food to eat and water to drink.
  • The world! There are different cultures, speaking different languages living very differently in completely different environments.
  • Your body! The way all the different systems work together to help you breath, move, think, eat and sleep.

I’m not sure which of those wins! But they are all pure magic.

 

Let’s look at the themes one at a time:

Being trapped by emotional pain

Life has painful experiences. But it’s not actually the severity of the experience that matches the strength of the pain. Just like physical pain, we have different thresholds. Different things will¬†hurt us in different ways. Some people will fall¬†apart when¬†grieving, others fare better. Some people will be deeply affected by redundancy because it feels like failure and it clashes with their desire to be successful. It’s also a kind of rejection.

Relationships hurt the most it seems. This is because we have two basic psychological needs (Carol Rogers, Psychologist) and we can suffer if those needs are not met. One of the needs is of positive regard like love and trust from other people.  So when relationships break down or are troubled, this really affects us. This pain is particularly pertinent when it relates to parents and much emotional pain that people carry is attached in some way to their parents or close family members. Although it can be worrying to address these issues, Hypnotherapy does it in such a way that is safe and secure and people can actually get rid of a lifetime of pain in just a few sessions.

Not dealing with emotional pain can lead to feeling depressed.

Being stuck in a situation that doesn’t feel right

This¬† is usually about a relationship, job or place to live. It may be that you’ve outgrown the situation you are in or it is not fulfilling you in some way. It might be that the situation has changed and you have stayed the same or it may be that you behaved in a certain way to obtain that situation but have realised that actually, you are not being true to yourself.

It might be that you are in a ‘checkmate’ situation where you have realised that the situation you are in is not going to grow in the way that you want it to and you need to make a change. The classic examples here are in jobs where there is no opportunity for progression or the work/life balance is tilted towards work and you want more life.

Being caught in a cycle of behaving in a way that is not beneficial

So many people get caught up in behaviours that are not good for them but it just becomes part of life and they don’t know how to break the cycle on their own. Things like being overweight but not being able to stop overeating or stick to any sort of healthy eating plan, can make people’s lives miserable and zap their confidence.

Sometimes people are unable to stop smoking or addicted to drugs,¬† alcohol or gambling. Being out of control does not feel good and can mean feeling depressed, but it’s usually a symptom of an emotion. So by addressing these emotions the unwanted behaviour often falls away.

Not liking themselves

There are many reasons why people don’t like themselves but they usually stem from two things.

1 – The way we have behaved and it has made us feel bad or maybe guilty

2 –¬†The way someone else has behaved towards us and made us feel bad.

Either way our self-esteem can be very low¬†but again the good news is by letting go of the things that affected you, this makes you open to accept¬†positive changes to your self-esteem.¬†Again, Hypnotherapy is very effective for any¬†‘work of the self’, especially increasing self-esteem and confidence and easing depression.

Feeling unfulfilled or uncertain about what it is that they want

Do you feel like you are standing on the sidelines watching others succeed and move forward in their lives while you stagnate? If you feel envious of what others have, this can be useful in shaping what it is you want and knowing what it is that you want is a catalyst to getting it!

Feeling unfulfilled plays to our second basic psychological need which is self-actualisation (also identified by psychologist, Carl Rogers). Self-actualisation means bringing all the parts of yourself to life. That means exploring and developing ideas, feeding your interests and maximising your strengths and talents.

For many people life carries them along a particular path and they don’t give much thought to if they are fulfilled. But one day something doesn’t sit right and they can’t figure out what it is. Many of these people benefit from coaching to help them find a path, a mission, a passion to follow.

Thoughts are like magnets

thoughts are like magents

 

The problem is the more you think about hating your life, the more you create a pathway in your brain to that belief. And that belief becomes like a magnet that attracts other negative thoughts and make things seem worse. sometimes thoughts that you have about your life are because you recall memories of the past.

You can’t trust your brain entirely as it can alter your memories and make things seem different to how they are. The good news is that you can retrain your brain into thinking more positively and make positive thinking the stronger pathway in your brain and a more automatic route for your brain to take in he future.

When you have negative feelings about yourself you are more likely to be sensitive to other people’s negativity and this might affect you. When I work with clients we focus on the centre of them as a person. The things that make them stronger and I teach them how to protect themselves from negativity.

 

Why do some people seem more resilient than others?

People who don’t give up are less likely to become depressed. They continue to seek resolution to problems and a lot of effort into controlling events. They have¬†belief that what happens to them is within their control. These people experience less stress no matter what their circumstances. Because they feel that taking action changes their situation, they always have something to aim for and a sense of satisfaction when they have taken action. These people do not have ‘victim mentally’.

Having a positive mental attitude, thinking for yourself and being adaptable and open to change and making time for fun will change things for your. Let me show you how ūüôā

You are the owner of your life. You can let things happen to you or make things happen to you. If you are ready for change call me today.
This blog is one in a 30 day series about self-development and practical¬†lists we will be making to¬†enhance our lives.¬†I’m using these blogs to provide coaching and advice in my capacity as a qualified coach and Hypnotherapist working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of how you you at more healthy food easily.  I hope you found something you can stick with and feel good about.

 

Your in pursuit of happiness list

Have you seen the movie ‘in pursuit of happiness’ with Will Smith? It’s a great film where he names the parts of his life. Some are pretty tough!

Today’s list might take a while but try to break your life into chunks and give those chunks name. For example if you had a tough time at school, you might call that ‘hiding’ or ‘surviving’. I’m sure you will be able to think of the right words. Don’t forget the positive chunks! It will help you to think about your life in this way and identify how parts of your life have imprinted on you.

 

 

A positive mental attitude is a game changer

The Pollyanna technique means looking for something good to come out of every bad situation. Some people describe this as taking the learnings or we all know ‘every cloud had a silver lining’.

With a positive mental attitude¬†you can overcome issues such as depression, low self-esteem and low confidence. Hypnotherapy is hugely beneficial for a positive mental attitude and helping you regain control over your life.¬†Your progress doesn’t end when your sessions do, once you’ve have a taste of liking your life you won’t want it any other way.¬†A positive mental attitude puts you in control.

 

Charlie Chaplin’s poem –¬†As I Began to Love Myself

 

Charlie Chaplin

 

This is a lovely poem by Charlie Chaplin that sums up life. Feel free to share any other poems that you think might help others.

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “Maturity”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health –
food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday April 16, 1959

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

 

How judgemental are you?

How judgemental are you?

How judgemental are you?

I want to start this post by pointing out that no negative connotation is meant by asking how judgemental you are. That is not the purpose of this article.

We all judge to some degree. But reducing how we judge people can be good for us. It can mean we give new people or new situations more time, more compassion and more of ourselves. As a result we make more friends & have more new and exciting opportunities.

Consider having a less judgemental approach to be like a palete cleanse. Without any other flavour clouding your view of the new taste.

Or viewing a piece of art without knowing its story and coming to your own conclusions. Imagine the possibilities of what you could discover.

So what do you judge others for?

It’s easy to judge others and do it often. We can judge what we see, what we hear and what we want to see and hear.

Here are some of the ways that we judge, take a look down the list and see if anything jolts a judgement thought with you:

  • How much money someone has
  • How little money someone has
  • What someone wears
  • Others choice of holiday destination
  • Tattoos
  • Job
  • Parenting
  • Single parent
  • Doesn’t give to charity
  • Smokes
  • Has an affair
  • Overworks
  • Doesn’t work
  • Lots of children
  • No children
  • Not educated to a certain level
  • Lives in an untidy house
  • Lives in a spotless house
  • Is very loud
  • Speaks directly
  • Not sociable
  • Quiet
  • Loud
  • Lives to eat
  • Spends all they have
  • Saves most if what they have
  • Shops at low cost supermarket
  • Drives an expensive car
  • Drives an old car

 

When we judge someone we are usually looking at a fraction of who they are, at a given time. We don’t know their true values, how they are compassionate (most people are but in very different ways). When you judge someone you are just ‘marking’ them in line with your own values and beliefs. There is no right or wrong.

But what you might not realise is the impact judging others has on you. When you think or speak negatively about others it doesn’t do us you any good. When you¬†think or say negative things, every cell in your body feels and hears them. And the opposite is also true for positive things. So the choice is obvious!

 

Free yourself

wild horses

 

It is likely that the more you judge others, the more you will worry about them judging you. This might affect the way you behave or even stop you doing things that you really want to do for fear of what others will say.

In my Hypnotherapy practice in West Sussex, I see a lot of clients who need to increase their self-esteem and sometimes this is linked to holding back and always worrying what others might think or say about them.

It is very liberating to not worry what people about what people think of you. The less you judge others, the more free you will free. Set yourself free.

People who worry about this may f you judge others you will worry more about if others are judging you.

 

This blog is one in a 30 day series about self-development and practical¬†lists we will be making to¬†enhance our lives.¬†I’m using these blogs to provide coaching and advice in my capacity as a qualified coach and Hypnotherapist working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote 2 lists. One list of reasons you think you should or want to exercise and another of exercises you could try and how you will fit it into your life. Did you make any plans to try something?

 

Your tenth list:

For your tenth¬†list I would like you to write a short list, maybe even just one thing of how you think you might judge others. and maybe you want to try and stop doing it? Remember, it’s not as a negative thing about you, it’s to get more positivity into your life and thoughts.

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

 

If you want to feel like the luckiest person alive – try this

If you want to feel like the luckiest person alive – try this

If you want to feel like the luckiest person alive – try this

It’s easy to think other people are ‘lucky’. But lucky is often mixed with our own judgements and based on the things we think we want. ¬†Our view of lucky is often also based on seeing just one aspect of something.

Here are some common things we might think people are lucky for being:

  • Wealthy
  • Slim
  • Healthy
  • Fit
  • In a relationship
  • Popular
  • Talented
  • Good looking

 

When you say ‘aren’t they lucky’ about the people above. Are you really saying ‘I wish I had that’? ¬†Looking at the list above all of these things are in your control to have. The only thing that stands between you and the things on this list is you.

I realise at this point you might be questioning is how you become good looking! But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You might not look the way you want to but in 2017 you can pretty much improve how you look in every way. But more importantly, if you like what you already have, add a smile and some inner beauty, the world will see your beauty. Don’t you worry about that.

The truth behind lucky

Lucky is a state of mind. Lucky is being grateful for the things you have and not comparing yourself to others. Lucky is making your own luck. Lucky is not placing your happiness in the dangerous position thinking of what you don’t have, but taking real stock of the things you do. ¬†Understanding what gives you pleasure and how you can feed you soul.

Let’s look at some of the possible truths behind some of the lucky people on the list above.

  • Sharon is wealthy. She has a lovely house and a nice Audi. Her husband has his own business and works all the hours god sends. He has had an affair in the past and expects Sharon to ‘get over this’. Sharon is very lonely and wants to leave the marriage but doesn’t have the confidence. Is Sharon lucky?
  • Lucy is slim.¬†She has a nice figure and can wear pretty much whatever she likes without worrying about bulges. But Lucy suffers from anxiety. Sometimes she has panic attacks and it is a big deal for Lucy to go tot he shops on her own. Quite often she will become anxious in the shop and always has to know the quickest route to the exit in case she needs to leave in a hurry. She is unable to hold down a job due to her anxiety and has lived with her parents her whole life. She often worries about what the future holds for her. Is Lucy lucky?
  • Tim is popular. He has lots of friends who like socialising and going to football matches. Some of Tim’s friends are married but Tim is single. To be honest he is starting to find the same old routine of drinking and going to matches a bit boring. He is searching deeper meaning in his life but finds this hard to say to anyone. The truth is he is feeling quite depressed. He knows if he said this to his mates they would take the mickey, so he keeps it all bottled up. Is Tim lucky?

 

Lucky is an illusion

 

So you see, Lucky is almost an illusion. Lucky is living a life where you are true to yourself. Living a life where you are happy with what you have and appreicate much of the world around you.

Let me tell you about Rebecca. She has done some personal work to understand herself. She is open to the world around her. She walks her dog in the morning and notices the early morning dew on the grass and the first sight of an orange sunrise. Her dog makes her laugh. Rebecca is a personal trainer. She left her corporate job where she was well paid but unhappy and stressed and pursued her passion of personal training. She loves helping people get fit, change their bodies and achieve the goals they have set themselves.  She gets lots of thank you cards!

Rebecca is a stocky build but healthy. She is thankful that she doesn’t have any addictions and she values time spent with friends (she has carefully selected people that feed her positive energy). Rebecca loves learning new exercises and healthy eating knowledge. It’s a win-win as she gets healthier and so do her clients. She is growing her business but taking her time because although she likes the nice things in life, she values her work/life balance too.¬†Rebecca is comfortable in her own skin. Is Rebecca lucky?

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of things of ways you could nurture yourself. How did you find writing that list and when do you plan to have your first nurture session?

 

Your seventh list:

The seventh list you are going to write is your lucky list. It’s a bit like a gratitude list which you can read about in one of my previous blogs here¬†Make a list of all the reasons you are lucky. and keep a copy somewhere you can look at it every time you need a boost. ¬†¬†Someone, somewhere probably thinks you are very lucky.

 

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

Why would a Worthing based Hypnotherapist that usually helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression blog about lists?

This is a great question ūüôā I use a blend of therapies to help my clients including Hypnotherapy, NLP, tapping, Reiki and life coaching. I work at a deep level with my specialism of depression. I use different techniques to suit each individual because people are so different.

Words have such power and often come from our subconscious. Writing things down and labelling things with words can really help us shift the past and get excited about the future. This means we are healing, growing and goal setting all at the same time ūüôā

The power of words never ceases to amaze me. Kind words can change lives, giving words to our thoughts and feelings can help us understand ourselves, changing the words that we thought were true can create new possibilities. Words can connect us to ourselves and to others.

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