Why your CV is like a dating profile

Why your CV is like a dating profile

When you walk down the street and pass people you don’t know, you cannot possibly tell what ‘sort of person’ they are. When a potential employer picks up the pile of CVs from people applying for a post they advertised, they don’t know anything about them either. They are relying on an A4 double sided CV to give them a ‘feel’ for the sort of people who are applying.

Each employer or company will have its own flavour. A set of unspoken or spoken values and beliefs that mean that the right sort of people will fit in and flourish in this company. And when employers are seeking people to work in their business, they know what they are looking for even if they can’t put it into words. So you need to put it into words for them.

You need to understand and covey the very you of you, so they get it straight away. The likelyhood is that most people who apply for the same job will have the right skills and qualifications. What is of equal importance is your ‘flavour’. Your approach, your ethics, your outlook, your tenacity and things like that.

So why is a CV like a dating profile?

If you’ve ever been on a dating site you will know there are a lot of profiles. Now unless it’s Tinder where the connection is made by saying you like the look of someone, you will read the blurb they put about themselves to see if they are your ‘sort of person’. Lots will say ‘good sense of humour’ but what does that actually mean! There are lots of different comedians but we won’t all find the same ones funny.

Likes and interests are interesting but do they really help us understand who that person is? In a non-professional football team you will have lots of different personalities, doing different jobs and having different drivers, emotions and ambitions. We want to know if they are the sort of person who likes to be the last one at a party or the one at home in comfies. Or if they care about getting a black friday deal and if they give to charity. If they would be happy with one coat of paint or would have to make sure it is perfect.

CV examples

Here are some examples from CVs. Take a look and think about what you really know about this person from their opening statement:

Person 1 – Highly-skilled and meticulous communications professional with experience and extensive understanding of implementing and delivering engagement methodologies and communications activity plans.

Person 2 – As an experienced sales manager, my tenacious and proactive approach resulted in numerous important contract wins. My excellent networking skills have provided my team with vital client leads, and my ability to develop client relationships has resulted in an 18% increase in business renewals for my current organisation. After eight years in sales, currently seeking a new challenge which will utilise my meticulous attention to detail, and friendly, professional manner.

Person 3 – Driven Retail Manager with over ten years’ experience in the fashion industry. Proven track record of success, including managing the top performing store in the region, and having the lowest staff turnover rate of all UK outlets.

What do we actually know about any of these people?

You are not like the other peas in the pod

pea in a pod

Give them a flavour of the sort of person you are. Let them know how your flavour will compliment theirs to make the perfect dish. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you be clear about what to write:

  • How do you cope under pressure?
  • When are you at your best?
  • How do you deal with problems?
  • Are you a curious person?
  • Do you like unfinished business?
  • Do you have to win?
  • Do you like variety or routine?
  • Are you better working alone or in teams?
  • How do you deal with setbacks?
  • When are you at your best?
  • What are your goals?
  • Are you resourceful?
  • What makes you different?
  • What is your energy level like?

So once you have the answers to these questions you should be in good shape to write your personal profile for the top of your CV. Something that gives them a feel for ‘the sort of person’ you are.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of things of things that make you lucky. Lucky you! Don’t forget to add to that one often as it’s an important one.

 

Your eighth list:

The eighth list you have written in the exercise above is your ‘I’m the sort of person’ list. The last part of this exercise is for you ask other people what sort of person they think you are. It’s also a good idea to actually get feedback from others as it will give you new insights about yourself. Add the bits that they say that fit well into your list.

If you want someone to proof read your CV and give you honest feedback on your personal profile I am happy to do that for you for free if you mention this blog post. I am specialised in values work which is what makes us who we are and help lots of people get to know themselves better and feel more comfortable in their own skin. Some people say that self awareness is the most important development that you can do.

 

Once you get an interview

I often see clients before job interviews or presentations to help them control their nerves and give them a confidence boost. Once you’ve secured an interview give me a call 07530 890089 and let’s get you wooing your employer in the interview and securing your dream job.

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

If you want to feel like the luckiest person alive – try this

If you want to feel like the luckiest person alive – try this

If you want to feel like the luckiest person alive – try this

It’s easy to think other people are ‘lucky’. But lucky is often mixed with our own judgements and based on the things we think we want.  Our view of lucky is often also based on seeing just one aspect of something.

Here are some common things we might think people are lucky for being:

  • Wealthy
  • Slim
  • Healthy
  • Fit
  • In a relationship
  • Popular
  • Talented
  • Good looking

 

When you say ‘aren’t they lucky’ about the people above. Are you really saying ‘I wish I had that’?  Looking at the list above all of these things are in your control to have. The only thing that stands between you and the things on this list is you.

I realise at this point you might be questioning is how you become good looking! But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You might not look the way you want to but in 2017 you can pretty much improve how you look in every way. But more importantly, if you like what you already have, add a smile and some inner beauty, the world will see your beauty. Don’t you worry about that.

The truth behind lucky

Lucky is a state of mind. Lucky is being grateful for the things you have and not comparing yourself to others. Lucky is making your own luck. Lucky is not placing your happiness in the dangerous position thinking of what you don’t have, but taking real stock of the things you do.  Understanding what gives you pleasure and how you can feed you soul.

Let’s look at some of the possible truths behind some of the lucky people on the list above.

  • Sharon is wealthy. She has a lovely house and a nice Audi. Her husband has his own business and works all the hours god sends. He has had an affair in the past and expects Sharon to ‘get over this’. Sharon is very lonely and wants to leave the marriage but doesn’t have the confidence. Is Sharon lucky?
  • Lucy is slim. She has a nice figure and can wear pretty much whatever she likes without worrying about bulges. But Lucy suffers from anxiety. Sometimes she has panic attacks and it is a big deal for Lucy to go tot he shops on her own. Quite often she will become anxious in the shop and always has to know the quickest route to the exit in case she needs to leave in a hurry. She is unable to hold down a job due to her anxiety and has lived with her parents her whole life. She often worries about what the future holds for her. Is Lucy lucky?
  • Tim is popular. He has lots of friends who like socialising and going to football matches. Some of Tim’s friends are married but Tim is single. To be honest he is starting to find the same old routine of drinking and going to matches a bit boring. He is searching deeper meaning in his life but finds this hard to say to anyone. The truth is he is feeling quite depressed. He knows if he said this to his mates they would take the mickey, so he keeps it all bottled up. Is Tim lucky?

 

Lucky is an illusion

 

So you see, Lucky is almost an illusion. Lucky is living a life where you are true to yourself. Living a life where you are happy with what you have and appreicate much of the world around you.

Let me tell you about Rebecca. She has done some personal work to understand herself. She is open to the world around her. She walks her dog in the morning and notices the early morning dew on the grass and the first sight of an orange sunrise. Her dog makes her laugh. Rebecca is a personal trainer. She left her corporate job where she was well paid but unhappy and stressed and pursued her passion of personal training. She loves helping people get fit, change their bodies and achieve the goals they have set themselves.  She gets lots of thank you cards!

Rebecca is a stocky build but healthy. She is thankful that she doesn’t have any addictions and she values time spent with friends (she has carefully selected people that feed her positive energy). Rebecca loves learning new exercises and healthy eating knowledge. It’s a win-win as she gets healthier and so do her clients. She is growing her business but taking her time because although she likes the nice things in life, she values her work/life balance too. Rebecca is comfortable in her own skin. Is Rebecca lucky?

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of things of ways you could nurture yourself. How did you find writing that list and when do you plan to have your first nurture session?

 

Your seventh list:

The seventh list you are going to write is your lucky list. It’s a bit like a gratitude list which you can read about in one of my previous blogs here Make a list of all the reasons you are lucky. and keep a copy somewhere you can look at it every time you need a boost.   Someone, somewhere probably thinks you are very lucky.

 

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

Why would a Worthing based Hypnotherapist that usually helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression blog about lists?

This is a great question 🙂 I use a blend of therapies to help my clients including Hypnotherapy, NLP, tapping, Reiki and life coaching. I work at a deep level with my specialism of depression. I use different techniques to suit each individual because people are so different.

Words have such power and often come from our subconscious. Writing things down and labelling things with words can really help us shift the past and get excited about the future. This means we are healing, growing and goal setting all at the same time 🙂

The power of words never ceases to amaze me. Kind words can change lives, giving words to our thoughts and feelings can help us understand ourselves, changing the words that we thought were true can create new possibilities. Words can connect us to ourselves and to others.

The nurture list for busy women

The nurture list for busy women

The nurture list for busy women

We hear it a lot us busy women. Learn to relax. Take care of you first so you can care for others. Have a nice bubble bath with candles and you will feel brand new.

Now I am not saying that bubble baths aren’t lovely. They can be. But I consider them to be quite lightweight in the true sense of self-nurturing.

Self-nurturing is doing things that feed your body well, interest or relax your mind or connect you socially. Or disconnect you socially! True self-nurturing is doing things that make your eyes light up or ignite or care for your spirit. Also relaxing and seeing worries drift away.

 

So what is nurturing yourself?

Nurturing yourself might be:

  • Putting yourself in a cocoon of blankets and hibernating quietly
  • Taking a chunk of time to read
  • Making a delicious known or new recipe
  • Doing some exercise
  • Reading magazines
  • Doing something sensual
  • Exploring a new hobby
  • Taking a walk
  • Getting out in nature
  • Meditating
  • Seeking out a new holistic treatment
  • Looking at holiday destinations
  • Learning something
  • Go to the cinema alone
  • Sleep

 

Some of my Hypnotherapy clients come to be nurtured. They enjoy the relaxing feelings that Hypnotherapy brings. The true sense of inner calm. Almost like a floating escape. The effects of a Hypnotherapy relaxation session can last for days. With 4  sessions you can have the effects for a lifetime as your calm ‘muscle’ will be well and truly flexed, reducing stress and anxiety for good.

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of people who have your six or your desired qualities for your ‘sixer’ to have. Did it surprise you how many people have had or do have your six? Or are you looking forward to getting some sixers in your life?

 

Your sixth list:

The sixth list you are going to write is your ‘ways to nuture myself’ list. Make a list of all the ways that you can nurture yourself, no matter how small or big. This is a list that you can reference back to when you feel you need some self love and care.

 

Share your list!

If you are comfortable to, please share your list in the comments. Think of all the great ways we could self nurture if we shared 🙂

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

Why would a Worthing based Hypnotherapist that usually helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression blog about lists?

This is a great question 🙂 I use a blend of therapies to help my clients including Hypnotherapy, NLP, tapping, Reiki and life coaching. I work at a deep level with my specialism of depression. I use different techniques to suit each individual because people are so different.

Words have such power and often come from our subconscious. Writing things down and labelling things with words can really help us shift the past and get excited about the future. This means we are healing, growing and goal setting all at the same time 🙂

The power of words never ceases to amaze me. Kind words can change lives, giving words to our thoughts and feelings can help us understand ourselves, changing the words that we thought were true can create new possibilities. Words can connect us to ourselves and to others.

Who has your six?

Who has your six?

Who has your six?

‘In the army they have a phrase ‘who has your six’ which means who has your back. It’s because 12 o’clock is front and 6 o’clock is back. This is important in the army where your job is literally life and death and you need to have complete trust in those around you.

It is so important to seek out people who ‘have your six’ in life. You probably have family that do this automatically, but there are many ways to find and have people that have your back. Some of them may be friends, your partner or your work buddies. People you can trust and turn to when life gets messy or you need a pep talk.

But what humans often forget is that we are all in this together. ‘We’ is far more powerful than ‘I’.  When we combine forces with another person or other people we create a whole new energy, a new force that can achieve more.

Ideas with knobs on

Think about it. You have ideas which when you can  share with trusted people and they add their ideas, you then have ideas with knobs on.

But supporting another person gives you something too. Helping other people is one of the key contributors to making you happy. It give a lasting feeling of contribution and satisfaction. What could be more rewarding than making a positive difference to someone else’s life?

We’ve all heard of:

  • The teacher that spotted the talent in the child
  • The adult that saw that a child was having a tough time and helped them
  • That person who totally changed someone’s life
  • The well connected person that spotted a quiet talent
  • The kind person that saved someone’s life

 

Priceless

I recently saw a facebook post from someone who was having a tough time and put a very raw and personal message out. What happened as a result  was a fundraising campaign to help him to give his kids a good Christmas. He was given thousands of pounds which must have been a great help. But I bet that feeling he had of all the love & support and people that care was PRICELESS.

One excellent way to have someone’s six is mentoring. The Aspire Foundation offers the opportunity to mentor women around the world. I’ve mentored people for about 15 years and love using my coaching skills to help them.

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of things of things you felt stressed about so you could understand what the stress was a symptom of.  How did that work out for you? Any surprises? Don’t forget I can help you with both the root causes and symptoms of stress.

 

Your fifth list:

The fifth list you are going to write is your ‘people who have my six’ list. Make a list of all the people through the course of your life that have had your six.  You will be amazed how many people cared about you, inspired you, helped you or supported you. This is a lovely list to make.

If your list is short or you find it difficult to write, don’t worry. Sometimes we haven’t met the right people yet. You can do this differently. You can write a list of the things you would like help or support with. Or the qualities that your ‘sixer’ would have. This will work in a law of attraction style to help shape the things you think you need.

Lastly, if you don’t have a sixer, be a sixer. Support others and feel how good it feels.

 

I got your six

Oh by the way, if you are one of my clients, I have your six. I will support you in making any changes you need to. That’s a promise 🙂

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

Why would a Worthing based Hypnotherapist that usually helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression blog about lists?

This is a great question 🙂 I use a blend of therapies to help my clients including Hypnotherapy, NLP, tapping, Reiki and life coaching. I work at a deep level with my specialism of depression. I use different techniques to suit each individual because people are so different.

Words have such power and often come from our subconscious. Writing things down and labelling things with words can really help us shift the past and get excited about the future. This means we are healing, growing and goal setting all at the same time 🙂

The power of words never ceases to amaze me. Kind words can change lives, giving words to our thoughts and feelings can help us understand ourselves, changing the words that we thought were true can create new possibilities. Words can connect us to ourselves and to others.

Do you know what to put on your stress list?

Do you know what to put on your stress list?

Do you know what to put on your stress list?

Life is busy isn’t it? Home, work, relationships, children, money and all the other stuff.  But being busy doesn’t always equate to stress. Being being can actually give you energy, especially if you are enjoying the things you are doing.

When a task becomes too much to handle, that can cause stress. Targets you can’t reach, a workload you couldn’t finish if you worked 24/7 or a house so untidy you feel like you just want to empty it all into a skip and start again.

You see stress is just the symptom of something else. Stress is a blanket term we used when we are:

  • Out of control
  • Out of line with our values
  • Overwhelmed
  • In conflict

 

But stress is a biggy because it can make you feel like life is too difficult to cope with and really take the wind out of your sails. It can make the most capable people feel weak and vunerable. It can be difficult to see a way out or to muster the strength to pull through. Triggers for stress are different for everyone but include:

  • Caring for parents
  • Relationship problems with partner
  • Parenting
  • Problems with friendships
  • Problems at work
  • Health issues
  • Money problems
  • The past
  • Lack of direction

 

Quick review of yesterday’s list:

Yesterday you wrote a list of things you could do to like your job more. How did that work out for you? Can you see how the things on your list could make a difference?

Or maybe you didn’t write that list because you love your job!

 

Your fourth list:

The fourth list you are going to write is your ‘things I feel stressed about’ list. Make a list of things that make you feel stressed out. The answers might surprise you. just get them all out of your head. Once you have your list try to label the things that stress you with how they make you feel. It might look something like this:

Cause of stress Makes me feel 
Arguments with partner Angry
Housework Busy
Unrealistic deadline at work Angry
Travel for work Tired
Children’s behaviour Angry
Overweight Worried

 

You will see from the example that the main feeling is angry. Anger puts the body under strain.  Your energy is likely to suffer and you will probably be less productive and achieve less.  The feelings of anger will ripple throughout your life. Anger can be built up over time but the good news is it can be eased and make a massive difference to your whole life once you have learned how to control it.

You are not alone. A lot of people feel like this but with help you can learn strategies to feel different. As a Hypnotherapist, I can help you understand your feelings and alleviate any feelings of anger, sadness, depression or anxiety.

See you tomorrow.

Honey

x

Why would a Worthing based Hypnotherapist that usually helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression blog about lists?

This is a great question 🙂 I use a blend of therapies to help my clients including Hypnotherapy, NLP, tapping, Reiki and life coaching. I work at a deep level with my specialism of depression. I use different techniques to suit each individual because people are so different.

Words have such power and often come from our subconscious. Writing things down and labelling things with words can really help us shift the past and get excited about the future. This means we are healing, growing and goal setting all at the same time 🙂

The power of words never ceases to amaze me. Kind words can change lives, giving words to our thoughts and feelings can help us understand ourselves, changing the words that we thought were true can create new possibilities. Words can connect us to ourselves and to others.

Pin It on Pinterest

21 Day Wellbeing Challenge

Has your energy taken a nosedive? Or maybe you can’t remember the last time you felt well. Let me help you. Join the FREE 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge

Fantastic See You In The Challenge