Which is best for you? Hypnotherapy or Counselling?

Which is best for you? Hypnotherapy or Counselling?

Maybe you are someone who has had an issue your whole life or maybe issues seem to have found you during your life, but are you someone who is considering getting help? Maybe you know you don’t ‘feel right’or you’ve had a trauma at some stage in your life which has affected you and you feel like you need some help.

I really think there are specific issues and issues that seem to join forces and make us feel bad. What I mean by that is if you have say a fear of something like flying, snakes, spiders, heights… that’s a specific issue. But issues that join forces might be things that have hurt you over the course of your life and taken some of your happy away, affected your confidence, made you feel depressed and maybe make you behave in ways that don’t make you feel good. Life feels like a bit of a struggle.

And seperate to that we have weight loss, smoking and other addictions which can be a combination of habits, addiction and root causes combined.

 You know you need help

doctor

So you feel like you need some help but how do you know who to go to?

You might go and see your doctor. Some doctors are sympathetic about such matters and others less so. your doctor may prescribe anti-depressants or ‘time to talk’ therapy which is available on the NHS. If the problem persists, they may put you on a waiting list for counselling or CBT for which the waiting list at the moment is about 8 weeks long in  West Sussex.

I’m lucky enough to know some holistically minded doctors who know that I specialise in depression and do refer patients to me for Hypnotherapy if they feel that is appropriate.

  • You might open up to friends or family and they might know someone who can help or have a friend who knows someone who can help.
  • You might buy a self help book. 561,969 and counting currently on Amazon. But how will you know which one is right for you and will really make a difference to how you feel?
  • Or you might Google something like ‘help with depression Worthing‘ and see what comes up (mostly counselling services).

The rapport with your therapist is important

I don’t know about you but I don’t air my dirty laundry to everyone! I like to have rapport and trust with someone I’m going to talk to about my problems. My advice when choosing is call them up or email them and ask for chat to see if they are the right person to help you. Do the ‘chemistry’ test. Are they the person that you will choose to hep you? you don’t want to be a someone that goes through their sausage machine of referrals, you want to be someone that they want to help make a significant difference to your life.

So what are the differences between Hypnotherapy and Counselling?

Hypnotherapy Counselling
Waiting list Around 2 weeks Around 8 weeks in West Sussex for an NHS referral
Price per session £85 £50
Length of a session 1 hour 1 hour
Number of sessions required 1-2 for anxiety, phobias and stop smoking. 4 for weight loss and depression 4 upwards
Where does it take place Face to face or on Skype Face to face, group, email, phone
How does it work Hypnotherapy relaxes the conscious mind to make changes in the subconscious (90% of the mind). Read more about this here Counselling is a talking therapy which focuses on reflecting on your experiences and understanding how they impacted you.
What happens in a session Your Hypnotherapist will relax you and put you into Hypnosis (not scary, usually pleasant) and guide your subconscious into changes things that are not helpful and introducing things that are Your counsellor will ask you questions to help you open up and discuss issues that are affecting you. Your councellor will ask lots of ‘open’ questions to help you reflect and understand things
Who is it suitable for Not Epileptics, Schizophrenics, Psychotics or people on Lithium or Halperidol Everyone
Is it safe Yes with a qualified professional Yes with a qualified professional
Is it confidential Yes Yes
Is it available on NHS Not yet! Yes
Is there follow up care Yes, often Hypnotherapists provide recordings for you to revisit for ‘maintenance’ No
Does it change your life Yes. If you have a fear of flying you can go on holiday. You can stop those panic attacks. You can get confidence. You can get slim, stop smoking… Be happy! Maybe for some
Is it suitable for children? Age 5+ but use a Hypnotherapist who has special training to work with children Yes lots of schools use counselling
Who should choose what and why? Anxiety – quick lasting changes to how you feel and how you cope.

Phobias – can be removed in minutes

Stop smoking – in 2 sessions for good

Weight loss – not a diet but a new way of nourishing your body and losing weight for good

Sleep – clear your mind and sleep better than ever

Depression – release yourself from depression and feel happier

Stress – switch off like never before, relieve stress and learn self-hypnosis for a calmer life

I think there are some matters that are very deep and personal. They need expertise and time.

Couples – relationship counselling can really help

Rape – highly sensitive

Alcoholism – expertise required

Bereavement – talking can really help (although Reiki is great for grief)

Bulimia and Anorexia – need expertise in most cases

Suicidal thoughts – call the Samaritans

Attitudes to therapy (taken from NHS website)

In 2014 the BACP carried out some research to find out more about people’s attitudes towards counselling and psychotherapy. Some of the key findings included:

  • 28% of people have consulted a counsellor or psychotherapist (up from 21% in 2010)
  • 54% of respondents said that they, a family member, friend or work colleague have consulted a counsellor or psychotherapist
  • 69% of people think the world would be a better place if people talked about their feelings more

Read more about the key findings of the BACP research (PDF, 134kb).

Charities and voluntary organisations

There are some wonderful charities and voluntary organisations really helping people with their counselling. These organisations usually specialise in a particular area, such as couples counselling, bereavement, or family guidance.

Charities that may offer counselling include:

  • Cruse Bereavement Care – provides bereavement advice and support
  • Relate – offers relationship advice and counselling
  • Rape Crisis – for women and girls who’ve been raped or sexually abused
  • Victim Support – provides victims and witnesses of crime with help and support

You may also be able to access support groups through your local community, church, or social services.

There is something for everyone

The important thing is that there are so many ways for people to get help with their mental health now. It’s not taboo to talk about it anymore. People want the longest, best lives they can possibly have and there seems to be recognition that buying things to make us feel better is not the answer. This is a short term strategy! Invest in yourself, your mental and physical health and life is better. Health is the new wealth 🙂

I see a lot of people that are using Hypnotherapy as a last resort. They’ve had counselling, CBT, psychotherapy, medication you name it. But they want to feel significantly different. They don’t want to talk about what’s been and gone over and over, they want to move on and replace those feelings with something else. They want a brighter future and a better life. The two phrases my clients use the most are ‘that was amazing’ and ‘I wish I had come sooner’. Often they have used a lot of time,  money and energy trying to ‘fix’ themselves and really could have sorted things out much sooner.

If you want help call me on 07530 890089 or email me  We can have a chat about what’s right for you.

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Honey

Healthy eating – day 29 – Can Paul Mckenna really make you thin?

Healthy eating – day 29 – Can Paul Mckenna really make you thin?

Can Paul Mckenna really make you thin?

Paul Mckenna is probably the most famous Hypnotherapist in the world. It’s strange how he has almost always been part of my life from when he was a DJ on Capital FM.

I first saw Paul in the flesh in Wimbledon theatre about 20 years ago at a Hypnotherapy show. He Hypnotised my friend who was actually a sceptic that it would work!

Being a Hypnotherapist myself, I have been lucky enough to train with Paul Mckenna in person. He has Hypnotised me too; he has a lovely rich smooth voice 🙂

I am constantly in professional development. I go on about five training courses a year in person to learn new concepts and techniques to benefit my clients. I also watch lots of content and read lots of books. As I’ve recently been running a 30 day blog about healthy eating, it made sense to revisit a classic book. ‘I can make you thin’ by Paul Mckenna. Paul is Britain’s best selling non-fiction author and I would imagine that this has sold millions of copies across the world!

The book is thin!

Hazelnut latte

The first thing I noticed about this book was how thin it was. Was that a message to my subconscious? The book comes with a CD which is about 30 minutes long and Paul says it will change the way I think about food and feel better about myself. I like this approach as there are studies that suggest you need to work on self-esteem before or during weight loss, or it’s likely that you will put weight back on again.

Paul recommends listening to the CD every day for the best results. This is also an approach I use with my clients as I give them a personalised recording of their sessions to listen to during their Hypnotherapy weight loss journey.

In the preface by Ronald Ruden, M.D., P.H.D, he makes the point that food is freely available. This is important. It cannot be avoided. This means that temptation is everywhere. You can’t go in a coffee shop without being faced  with an array of cakes, sandwiches and biscuits. Even the drinks can have up to 700 calories a piece and are like meals in themselves. Caramel chocolate hazelnut latte with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles anyone?

Tackle the stress first

stress relief

It’s great that the book talks about reducing the stress that diets cause, but actually stress of any kind can trigger overeating and mindless eating. Stress would be a major factor of overeating and weight gain in my opinion and I would work on stress with all my clients. Feeling relaxed is pleasant and greatly beneficial for opening the subconscious, clearing negative thoughts and creating space for wonderful new positive thoughts and behaviours.

I didn’t like the sound of this being ‘an approach to controlling the response to hunger’ because for me, healthy eating isn’t about being hungry. It’s about eating foods which sustain you and nourish your body and reducing the amount of processed food, sugar and saturated fat that you eat.

Eat like slim people

Paul starts by saying ‘how would you like to eat whatever you want whenever you want and still lose weight’? Of course! Sounds wonderful thanks Paul. He says that this is not like other weight loss approaches and people might be angry about all the money they’ve spent on other diets!

I love that Paul has put his NLP training into practise by modelling his system on the habits of naturally slim people that he has modelled. This means he has seen what they do and used that to develop his system.

Paul says that 90% of people that diet fail! And they fall into three groups of:

Obesessive dieting

‘Forget about dieting. For ever. Diets are no more than training courses in how to get fat and feel like a failure’.

Paul says to deprive yourself of food is the worst possible way to lose weight and backs this up with a study from the second world war where people were starved and once food became available they ate up to eight times more. Even three months later.

Emotional eating

Emotional eating has nothing to do with physical hunger, but a hunger for emotional fulfilment. I like the way he suggests asking yourself before you snack if you are hungry or just want to feel different. This really brings you in touch with your physical and emotional needs. If you are hungry you can choose to eat something. If you are not actually hungry, you need a strategy for managing your emotions and changing your state. Something I always help my clients with.

He notes that sometimes weight gain follows a traumatic incident but people do not connect the two. In these incidences he suggests seeing an appropriate therapist.

I have had many clients that have worked on significant issues.  Whatever treatment you come for; I am equipped to deal.

Faulty programming

Paul actually goes so far as to say the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to go into the subconscious mind and change your relationship with food forever. I  see this differently. Many people successfully lose weight with will power which is part of the conscious mind. Many people go to slimming groups and become ‘target’ members. This means that they get to go to the same slimming group every week for life and for free as long as they stay in a particular weight range. And many do. This is what I would call an ‘away from’ strategy where the fear of putting the weight back on keeps that person slim. This works for many.

But there are many more people that lose weight in a similar way and put it back on and I get lots of those clients. We work together and yes we use the subconcious mind. We will cover reasons and triggers for overeating and change them. So you could say this is a ‘towards strategy’ which provides inspiration that things can change for good. But without being monitored and without counting calories so you can look forward to a life without the chains caused by overeating and being overweight. You will be doing it because every part of you wants to and can see the benefits of doing so. It’s exciting and life doesn’t feel like ‘being on a diet’.

Paul uses great metaphoric language to explain that learning to eat right is just like learning to tie your shoelaces or drive a car. You need to spend some time and practice doing it, but after a while it becomes second nature and you don’t even think about it very much!

Paul’s Golden Rules

golden rules

Going back to the slim people he had modelled, Paul says there are four golden rules he has identified:

1 – When you are hungry eat

This is such great advice as it stops blood sugar nose diving and stops the body panicking and storing fat it doesn’t need. He calls being hungry ‘the body’s natural call for food’ which I think is a great term for it.

2 – Eat what you what, not what you think you should eat

This chapter was excellent and covered an interesting experiment with toddlers and trusting the body to ask for what it needed if nothing was restricted.

3 – Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful

Here Paul said that he had noticed that overweight people spend a lot of time thinking about food except when they are eating it and are then busy enjoying it.

4 – When you think you are full, STOP eating

This one sounds obvious but there is evidence that it takes the stomach time to realise that it’s full. So you could be eating a lot more food than you need that time. That’s why rule 3 is a good one. By slowing down your eating you are giving your stomach a chance to realise that it’s being fed.

Programming your mind to be slim

juicy plums

As a Hypnotherapist this was my favourite part of the book! I love how Paul talks about the power of our imagination. He gives an exercise to demonstrate how your imagination is so powerful you can imagine tasting chocolate cake and also something disgusting happening to that cake.

He also how words can ‘sell’ food. I just found this description of plums on the Waitrose website! 
‘Sweet, juicy plums are truly a treat. The most popular varieties combine honeyed sweetness with a hint of acidity that makes them useful for cooking as well as eating just as they are’. This is a great tantalising description of a plum 🙂

I love the way Paul talks about focusing on what we do want rather than what we don’t. As I mentioned earlier, this is a ‘toward’ strategy, rather than an ‘away from’ strategy. ‘Toward’ strategies have much more long standing power than ‘away from’ as they are driven by inspiration and hope, rather than fear and hurt.

If you put a picture of yourself overweight on your fridge you are in fact focusing your mind on a negative image. It might make you feel bad and this is not a good starting place for your weight loss plan that will need your focus and effort.

You need to create a positive self-image

Paul talks about how important it is to work on your self-image. He describes it as ‘the blueprint that determines everything about you, from how motivated, intelligent and confident you are willing to let yourself be’. This gave me tingles because I cannot tell you how many clients I’ve had who are so talented, clever, kind, whatever, but lack a positive self-image.

I work with my clients to improve their self-image. This is what I call ‘work of the self’ and it changes lives. Nothing really changes except how the person feels about themselves, but it can change everything. 

I like the example Paul gives of someone who is not classically attractive but their self-confidence makes them attractive to others. And this reinforces their own feelings of feeling attractive so is self-fulfilling.

You can 100% change your self-image.

Paul goes on to cover visualisation, emotional eating, exercise, motivation, craving and questions and ends by reminding readers that ultimately they need to take action to make being thin a habit.

In a nutshell

nutshell

On Amazon this book these questions are asked when selling this book:

Would you like to eat whatever you want and still lose weight?
Would you like to feel really happy with your body?
Are you unable to lose those last 10 pounds? Do you find it difficult to say no to second helpings?
Do you get disheartened about your eating habits and your weight?
Then this amazing book and CD can help you!

I think this book could live up to these promises for some people, especially as it has a CD to listen to with it as a book alone is unlikely to make these changes.

But for those who need the personal touch and a customised Hypnotherapy weight loss plan or Hypno Gastric Band, please get in touch. I also offer a 4 week unique ‘go sugar-free programme’ which I have been running Worldwide on Skype for 3 years.

Why sign up for my newsletter?

  • You can get every new blog sent to you if you sign up here for my newsletter and you will also get a free relaxing recording
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Healthy hug

Honey

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