The secrets of slim people

The secrets of slim people

If you have ever wondered what the secrets of slim people are, your questions might be answered tonight in a show called ‘The truth about slim people’

The truth about slim people

We will get to see how two people; Anne-Marie and Yemi, manage to stay slim despite it seems eating whatever they like, whenever they like.

It is a true case of nothing being as it seems as I read the article about it.

Anne-Marie is a 42 year old mother of two who was trained as a dancer but now runs a dance classes for kids. She is 9 stone a size 8. Every aspect of her life was filmed for 5 days.

Yemi is a 37 year old father of 2, has a 32 inch waist and weighs 12 stone. His childhood nickname was ‘Dustbin’ because of his large appetite. He did a lot of sport in his younger days.

Neither of them eat ‘healthy’ food and they both at what they like in the quantity they desire. Or so it seems.

As part of the programme they both have medical test and it is found that neither of them have ‘magic metabolisms’.

The findings tell this story (see if you can spot the key ones that I, as a Hypnotherapist, will talk about today):

  • They don’t snack in the day
  • They fully satisfy themselves at mealtimes by eating what they fancy.
  • They both eat enough to feel full until the next meal.
  • Neither of them are ‘emotional eaters’.
  • They don’t drink much alcohol.
  • If they eat a lot one day, they eat less the next day
  • They unconsciously seem to balance their calorie intake
  • Anne-Marie is found to be a ‘fidgeter’. Never sitting still and using up lots of energy just ‘being her’.
  • Yemi walks at a very fast pace
  • Both sleep well
  • Both have good gut bacteria
  • Neither of them are ‘hung-up’ on food
  • They are both ‘self-regulated’
  • The conclusion from the show was that the secret to staying slim is mindset.

From the list above I am going to talk about the emotional eating aspect today.

So what is an emotional eater?

Emotional eating

It’s safe to say that an emotional eater will not see food as fuel only. If you are an emotional eater food is more of a friend that you call on when you need to feel better. When you feel negative emotions you will use food as a way to take your mind off them. Because your mind is distracted by the emotion, it means you don’t recognize when you are hungry or full so eat you fulfill an emotional need rather than a physical one.

Emotional eaters use food as a crutch rather than a source of pleasure to be enjoyed for what it is.

So what emotions might trigger an emotional eater to eat? Well any negative emotion really such as:

  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Fear
  • Sadness
  • Depressed
  • Unhappy
  • Shame
  • Tiredness
  • Dislike of yourself
  • Feeling unloved
  • Worry
  • Tiredness

 

Eating numbs the emotion and therefore feels comforting. But the bad news is after you’ve eaten you will probably feel more negative emotions about yourself like hating yourself for having no control, guilt, not liking your body, feeling fat or ugly or shame (especially if you eat in secret).

If you are unhappy being overweight, you may feel you have to wear make up to ‘hide’ yourself or even feel ugly without it and you may feel the need to behave in a way that distracts from your body which only adds to your feelings of internal discomfort. You may not be happy in your own skin.

Before you beat yourself up for what you crave and eat….

Why is it that certain foods seem to feature highly for emotional eaters? Foods like cake, biscuits, ice cream? Well your cravings can be justified for good reason. The blend of carbohydrates, sugar and fat can be delicious. A multi-sensory and temporarily satisfying experience. The feel in your mouth, the smell, the flavours and the taste exciting your senses and providing a distraction from anything else at that moment. And they are so easily available.

These type of food also provide instant gratification.

But did you know that your brain chemistry actually changes when you eat. “Carbohydrates set off a series of chemical reactions that ultimately lead to a boost in brain serotonin,” says Judith Wurtman, Ph.D., the former director of the Research Program in Women’s Health at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Clinical Research Center. The higher the levels of serotonin, the more content you feel (at least temporarily).

There have also been studies around fatty foods making people feel less sad because fatty acids can induce a signal from your gut to your brain, which may influence emotions.

So how can an emotional eater change?

Keep an emotional food diary

Keeping a food diary to track what you’ve been eating alongside what how you are feeling at the time can help you identify what triggers emotional eating.

I’ve made a food and emotion diary download for you which you can download here

Knowing what these triggers are can help you break the emotional eating habits and deal with triggers instead of turning to food.

 

How can you deal with emotional triggers?

So if you’ve done your food diary and spotted some emotional triggers for you, you need to know how to do something other than eat when they occur.

Although there are many ways that you could find something other than eat to do, it is a good idea if you try and find something that satisfies your reward centre. What I mean by that is the place in your mind that needs to feel good and satisfied (known as a reward centre). If you don’t do this, you are merely distracting yourself from the thought of wanting to eat (this strategy can work well for some people too).

If you think about how your emotions are soothed and the deep connection they have with food for a minute.

Ice cream at the seaside – this often starts in childhood. There you are having a great time with your family and your treat is an ice cream. Not only is the ice cream delicious in itself, but it anchors those happy feelings of your time at the beach probably with people you like to be with.

Popcorn at the cinema – going to the cinema is a sensory experience. you are going to watch a story that you can be absorbed in undisturbed for a couple of hours. You will see things that might be amazing and open your unconscious mind and emotions right up (think Disney or Hollywood). You then eat some sweet popcorn which anchors the experience.

Candy floss at the funfair – you are surrounded by fun and people laughing. you may have been spun round and round or been taken on a ride up in the air. Everyone there is happy and laughing. There are bright lights and your adrenaline, serotonin and oxytocin which make you excited and happy will all be in full force. The candy floss anchors the experience.

These experiences are bonding tastes and food with experiences. Your brain will want the same feeling if you don’t give it the food it thinks it wants.

So you need to get creative to think of things you can do which may make you feel good. Maybe excited or like you’ve accomplished something. Get thinking about what they might be now. What are you craving and how can you get it another way than eating?

 

If you need help

Good food choices

If you need help with your emotional eating or weight loss then I can help you by seeing you as a one to one client for 4 sessions. It is 4 sessions because we work on any emotional healing that needs to take place to allow you to move on. We work with the inner voice that damages your self-esteem and I help you to love your body (yes in its current form) so you want to care for it and nourish it. We also work on making better food choices, sugar cravings and confidence. The whole works.

If you want to be part of a group and spend 47 days working on your relationship with food, your relationship with yourself, sharing recipes, participating in challenges and listening to Hypnosis audios to help you, then you can join my next Project 47 group which starts on January 9th 2018. Please email me and I will put you on the waiting list.

Sending you some positive emotions today

Honey x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book review: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers

Book review: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers

I’m so excited to do this book review of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers because it is one of my all time favourite books. One everyone should read! Especially people who are scared of change and embracing the new.

Who is Susan Jeffers ph.D?

Susan Jeffers (1938-2012) was an American best-selling author and sought-after public speaker. She appeared on many radio and television shows internationally. She saw herself as someone meant to do something in addition to raising a family. And boy did she, even thought at the time it was against society’s expectations.

When her children were young she attained a BA, Master’s Degree, and Doctorate in Psychology. She then became the Executive Director of The Floating Hospital, New York’s Ship of Health.

She survived a divorce, a mastectomy and a decade as a single working parent. She is a true example of someone who felt the fear but did it anyway.

She helped millions of people throughout the world overcome their fears, heal their relationships, and move forward in life with confidence and love.

Susan’s reading list

You only have to look at her recommended reading list to get a feeling for her and what she was all about. Here are some of the books from that list:

 

The book

Susan explains how fear seems to be everywhere in our lives. We ‘fear beginnings and we fear endings’! We also fear:

  • Change
  • Staying the same
  • Success
  • Failure
  • Living
  • Dying

 

I see fear of these on a regular basis in my Hypnotherapy practice. People who want help getting through a job interview, exam or driving test have fear.

People who are ready to change their lives but are scared. People who have had enough are scared of what their lives have become and will continue to be.

Scared of not being about to lose the weight…scared of what they will do instead of smoking….. and anxiety is full of fear of course.

Teenagers who are scared of bullies or being themselves. I would say people are even scared to fully relax sometimes. And there is definitely fear around what others think.

But when you remove fear. You get better things in its place. You get power, energy and excitement.

Fear is an energy

skydive

Fear can be a useful response because it warns us of perceived danger and gives us a ‘boost’ to avoid getting hurt. Very useful for cavemen who had to avoid wild animals and also useful for that run you do to get out of the way of a car. But not always useful for some of life.

Level one fears are those on the surface

Susan lists fears are those that just happen like getting old, being alone or not having enough money.

And then fears that need action like changing career, losing weight or stating or ending relationships.

I would just like to make the point that fears do not need to be ‘big’ to feel big. The fear someone feels is not related to society’s perceived view of whether that is a justified fear. Fears that cause extreme fear are called phobias.

Level two fears are held within you. Susan gives examples of those as:

  • Being rejected
  • Succeeding
  • Failing
  • Being at risk
  • Being tricked
  • Being helpless
  • Being disapproved of
  • Losing yourself

 

These kind of fears are around your sense of sense and often difficult to understand on your own. They seep into all areas of your life and cause problems. This is what the self-help industry is built on. An of course, as a therapist, I help many clients with this sort of thing.

 

Susan then details level three fears under the title of ‘I can’t handle it!’

These fears are ‘major’ and will probably hold you back. They include feeling like you can’t handle:

  • Illness
  • Mistakes
  • Being alone
  • Your job
  • Losing money

Do you have any level three fears and what impact are they having on your life? I can help you.

The good news is that Susan’s work aims to impart the knowledge and feelings which she poses as this question:

Question – If you knew you could handle anything that came your way, what would you possible have to fear?

Answer – NOTHING!

By lessening or removing your fear you gain more trust in the knowledge that you can handle anything that comes you way 🙂 Sounds great doesn’t it? As you continue to read the book (or listen to it as I did on a very long car journey!) you will feel this amazing sense that you can handle whatever comes your way. It is so empowering.

 

We believe what we tell ourselves

spaceman

 

Our brains don’t know the difference between fact and fiction. So if you tell yourself good things, you will feel good. It is such a simple concept and one to teach your children for sure.

As Susan says in the book. We tell our children to be ‘careful’. This is giving messages that the world is full of danger. We say this because we don’t want them to hurt themselves and we will hurt too if anything happens to them. We are projecting our own fear onto them.

Can you imagine if Richard Branson had been fearful. Things would be very different.

If everyone had been to scared to go into space?  

Or Columbus had been scared of sailing?

You can push through fear

There are many strategies for pushing through fear. Susan’s approach is to push through one fear, into the next! She sees the growth that this gives. I was looking at Amy Porterfield’s webpage recently and saw she has 250,000 Facebook fans! She does webinars to help people with their websites and stuff and I thought, I bet she felt nervous on her first webinar! But she has pushed through the fear each time.

Another example of pushing through fear is when people hold spiders to get rid of their fear of spiders. This can have some bad consequences (I know because I have had clients in my Hypnotherapy practice that I have had to sort out because they have done this). But for many people, this works!

Overcoming fears makes you feel good!

It is natural to feel fear when you have to do something you haven’t done before. Whether that’s having a baby or a job interview!

One of the truest things I feel Susan says in her book is ‘pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the constant fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness’. How true this is!

Your mind is amazingly powerful, brilliant and creative and as much as it comes up with wonderful ideas that are helpful, it can also really go to down with feeling fearful, catastrophising and making you dread things that could be wonderful and exciting for you.

 

Fears I help people with in my West Sussex Hypnotherapy practice

fear

 

One of the best uses of Hypnotherapy is overcoming fear. Phobias are far more common than many people realise. It is estimated that more than 11% of the population have some kind of irrational fear. Here are some of the common fears I help people overcome:

  • Flying
  • Public speaking
  • Interviews
  • Driving tests
  • Exams
  • Claustrophobia
  • Sickness
  • Insects
  • Heights
  • Needles
  • Dentists
  • Water

 

Fear can stop you living the life you want to and doing things that you would enjoy or flourish at.

Get in touch and get rid of your fears and phobias today

 

Honey Lansdowne

I am ready and waiting to help you.

When I feel nervous about something I always think of that saying ‘it’s the things you didn’t do that you regret, not the things you did’.

So don’t regret not following me on Instagram or liking my Facebook page! See you there for inspiration and motivation 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What does Hypnosis feel like?

What does Hypnosis feel like?

A question I am asked a lot is what does Hypnosis feel like?  And I answer that it is different for everyone.

How Hypnosis might feel

I remember my first Hypnotic experience during an NLP course some years ago. I closed my eyes and was encouraged to connect with myself inside and I had a light trance. I thought wow, that’s interesting!

I trained as a Hypnotherapist pretty soon after that and as a result had a lot of Hypnosis. Which was great! I noticed that I went into deeper and better trances as I allowed myself to and saw the benefit of it. During the training we had to do 50 hours of practice and I noticed that everyone’s Hypnosis experience was different.

 

How people say Hypnosis feels

Hypnotic experiences can vary greatly from a light trance where someone relaxes for the first time in ages, to a very deep experience. It’s a different feeling to describe but I will use some of the things that my clients have told me to try and explain it to you.

Hypnosis is becoming more and more widely used. More people are recognising that’s it’s a safe way to improve their life. The most common uses of Hypnosis are to help with anxiety, phobias and weight loss. I’ve been using it to treat depression for a number of years.

Something important for people who feel depressed or anxious is to feel something different. And Hypnosis certainly achieves that. When you have felt something different to how you may have felt for a long time, it feels great!

 

Feelings of Hypnosis

Hypnosis is not sleep. Even though the word ‘sleep’ is commonly used, you are not asleep. You are in a trance but your subconscious mind is actually very alert.

You will feel relaxation in your body and your mind. But relaxation is not the goal of Hypnosis; change is.

You already go into Hypnosis yourself many times a day. You know when you arrive somewhere in the car and think, how did I get here? During running you can go into a trance, when listening to music, watching TV (you know that because you can talk to your kids while they are watching TV and they don’t hear you!).These all examples of trance.

 

Other feelings of Hypnosis are:

  • Being ‘in the zone’ is a form of Hypnosis.
  • Daydreaming is Hypnosis.
  • The feeling before you go to sleep and you have thoughts and ideas that you might not be able to put into words is Hypnosis.
  • Being intently focused is Hypnosis. Especially if your eyes go a bit ‘foggy’ or glazed.
  • Hypnosis is your natural ‘reboot’ and a good healthy thing to have and do.
  • Whilst in Hypnosis, you will hear what’s going on around you but it won’t bother or disturb you in anyway. You are focussed on your own ‘inside’, not what’s going on ‘outside’.
  • It feels nice!
  • It feels natural.
  • You are in control. You won’t say or do anything that you don’t want to.
  • Some people see colours.
  • Some people have wonderful memories.
  • Some people feel connect with their ‘higher self’ or ‘inner self’.

 

After Hypnosis

 

As much as I love Hypnosis, I think the best bit is afterwards. You will feel lighter and brighter. You will have let go of things that were troubling you and be ready for better things. Some people clear up or accept issues and pain that have been around for years. You may be able to forgive others and yourself and let go of guilt or shame.

You might still feel relaxed afterwards, not to the point where you can’t function because your Hypnotist will have brought you back to full consciousness. But you might have let some issues or emotional baggage go and that can mean to feel a bit tired.

Or you might feel super energised and ready for action! After a recent deep Hypnosis session I spent a week decluttering and organising. So not only did I feel great internally but had loads of focus and drive to get things done. Hoorah!

 

So you want to know more or book an appointment?

If you want to chat about Hypnosis or you are ready to make an appointment, please do get in touch. Best way is on my mobile 07530 890089

 

 

 

These song lyrics reflect my work with clients I help with emotional healing

These song lyrics reflect my work with clients I help with emotional healing

In this post I am going to use songs to reflect the work I do with clients that I help with emotional healing. This is such a precious element of my work and one I am very committed to and passionate about. I want you to hear where I am coming from with my energy and intention. Though music.

There are some healers and coaches who don’t have any official qualifications and are still doing a good job!  They have natural intuition and are able to help others. And others have intuition and like to back it up with skills and qualifications. The point is when people need help with emotional healing, they need to feel they are in safe, caring hands. The relationship and trust is so very very important in this kind of work. I feel honoured when I work with people in this way.

 

I think these songs say it all.

REM – Everybody Hurts

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on)
(Hold on) if you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you’ve had too much
Of this life
Well, hang on
‘Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don’t throw your hand
Oh, no
Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone
No, no, no, you’re not aloneIf you’re on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you’ve had too much
Of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts

The Pretenders – I’ll Stand By You

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you lessI’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by youSo if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me nowHey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like youWhen you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
’cause even if you’re wrong
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You’re feeling all alone
You won’t be on your own
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you

Bob Marley – Three Little Birds

“Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”
Rise up this morning
Smiled with the rising sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Saying, “This is my message to you”
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (don’t worry)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Rise up this morning
Smiled with the rising sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Saying, “This is my message to you”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (worry about a thing, oh)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright (don’t worry)
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (I won’t worry)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright (I won’t worry)
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (don’t worry about a thing)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright

 

Nina Simone – Feeling Good

Birds flyin’ high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me.
Yeah, it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, ooooooooh…
And I’m feelin’ good.Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River runnin’ free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me,
And I’m feelin’ good Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don’t you know,
Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean.
Sleep in peace when day is done: that’s what I mean,
And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me…Stars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel..
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me
And I’m feelin’… good.

 

The message I want to get across is…

When you’re sure you’ve had enough

Sometimes everything is wrong

If you think you’ve had too much

If you feel like you’re alone

Hold on

Come on and come to me now

’cause I’ve seen the dark side too

I’ll stand by you

Don’t hold it all inside

You’re feeling all alone

You won’t be on your own

Don’t worry about a thing

Cause every little thing is gonna be alright

This is my message to you

Rise up this morning

Singing sweet songs

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me

And I’m feelin’ good

Sleep in peace when day is done

Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel..

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me

And I’m feelin’… good

 

More about the emotional healing another day but if you need to sort something out please contact me. Even if we just have a chat, it’s worth it.

Honey

30 days to a happier you – Day 8 – You have the power of arrest

30 days to a happier you – Day 8 – You have the power of arrest

mind powerYour mind power is the most powerful thing you own.

In fact so powerful, you even have two! The conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind helps you operate in the ‘now’ and makes rationale decisions. The subconscious operates at a deeper level and looks to protect us in all we do. You can read more about your two minds here

You’ve got more rabbit than Sainsburys!

On Day 2 we started to look at mind chatter. Many of my clients spend more than 50% of their day thinking negatively or hearing negative mind chatter. If you watched sad films for that amount of time, they would probably lower your mood. But the good news is, if you spent the same amount of time watching positive films this would no doubt lift your mood.

Now this isn’t saying you shouldn’t watch sad films or feel negative emotions because we are human beings. We need to feel the whole range of emotions to have a complete human experience. This is about being aware that when a negative thought comes into our mind, it may not be the truth and maybe we shouldn’t spend time dwelling on it or believing it if it makes us feel bad.

Negative thoughts are like criminals in your mind

Say you lost your job. This is a serious life affecting event and can have a huge effect on people. Now say you spent much of your time thinking about:

  • ‘I should have worked harder’
  • ‘Why didn’t I take that course so I would be better’
  • ‘I’m no good’
  • ‘I’m unpopular’
  • ‘Why me’
  • ‘I’m not clever’
  • ‘I’ll never get another job’

These thoughts are like criminals in your mind.

You might spend a few hours a day thinking about these things. These thoughts may run concurrently in your mind and feel like a cloud around your head, stifling you. When your friends and family are talking to you, you might not be listening to what they are saying because you are so wrapped up in what you are thinking. You can’t really read or watch TV properly because you are thinking about the ‘bad stuff’. It starts affecting your sleep. You lose enthusiasm for things you used to enjoy. All because of these thoughts. These thoughts are affecting your enjoyment of life, your relationships and opportunities. You might find it harder to get another job because your self-esteem is low and everything becomes much more difficult.

You need mind COP ne naw ne naw

Mind COP is a good COP. He (or she!) is there, patrolling in your head, looking out for negative thoughts and helping you to; Catch them. Own them. Protect yourself.

Tomorrow I will be showing you mind how COP will protect you against those criminal negative thoughts in your mind. And yes, you really do have the power of arrest (in real life, it’s a citizens arrest ). We will look at how mind COP will help you make arrests and bang the baddies to rights.

Now all this talk about mind COP and criminal negative thoughts is using our imagination. This is the beauty of the mind. It’s imaginative (which is a problem when it creates negative thoughts, phobias and anxiety) but wonderful when it creates excitement, possibility and power.

So let’s imagine mind COP now…. close your eyes (but read this first!). Can you see mind COP? What can you see? Does mind COP have a voice? A uniform? A face? How big is mind COP? How will mind COP help you?

You create your own thoughts you see. With your amazing, powerful, imaginative mind.

Here’s the plan:

  • Keep noting your mind chatter in your notebook
  • Read your gratitude list often
  • Come back tomorrow and I will show you Mind COP in action catching those criminals and keeping your mind safe

Happy hug 🙂

Honey

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