The life changing secrets of Hypnotherapy
It’s big thing to say change you can change peoples lives. Surgeons can say it, the people at lottery HQ can say it and maybe Apple can say it! But why can a Hypnotherapist say it?!
It’s unlikely that everyone makes it through life without encountering some sort of issue. Issues like:
Stress which can be work related, relationship related or simply life related and untreated stress can lead to depression
Anxiety which can manifest in many ways including post traumatic stress disorder, social phobia and panic attacks
Grief related to someone passing away or the loss of something important to you
Poor sleep which can really disrupt everything in your life
Depression which can affect anyone and create a cloud in your life. There is a useful factsheet here about depression
Uncertainty about life direction which can really make you feel lost
Emotional pain which can lurk for years but refuse to go away until it’s dealt with
Phobias which are sometimes irrational but life affecting
Weight gain which affects your confidence or self esteem
So how do people overcome these issues? The most popular adage is that time is a great healer. I would argue here that in many cases the unconcious mind buries the issue and it often appears later in an unwanted behaviour or emotion.
If time healed everything I wouldn’t see so many clients that were affected by issues and traumas that occured years ago or even in childhood. This pain is often disguised by the person telling themselves that they dealt with everything and their depression, anxiety or weight gain have happened because of another reason.
You could ride the issue out of course. This can take 1, 10,20,30 years! You can find all sorts of workarounds to avoid exposing the issue and live a life with exceptions because of the issue. You won’t know how long the issue will last and the longer you carry it, the more ingrained it becomes as a habit which might make you feel frustrated and upset. But it might go. One day.
You could go for counceling, CBT or other therapies and these work for many people but often the number of sessions is high which can be a big time and cost investment. I have a blog post about the difference between Counselling and Hypnotherapy here.
Sometimes people find that these kind of therapies don’t help and my view on this is that this may be down to when we talk about our issues, we relive them. This gives the brain another experience of the issue to use as evidence that we have an issue. (Stick with me here). You also get another experience to remind you how the issue make you feel rather than the opportunity to experience a different feeling about the issue, which is how Hypnotherapy works. The brain carries a negative bias (meaning it finds it easier to think negatively than positively) so if you remind it of a negative experience or feeling it will focus on that. If you give your brain positive feelings and thoughts it will be pulled in that direction instead.
You could ignore the issue. An issue will pop up in the most unexpected of ways until you deal with it. The good news is that when an issue won’t go away until you resolve it, it will keep reminding you until you do. Notice these signs if you can so that anxiety doesn’t turn to depression or that food doesn’t become your solace etc.
So how does Hypnotherapy change lives?
When I started offering Hypnotherapy I underestimated it. People would come, I would make them feel better and they would be happy, get rid of their phobia, feel less depressed, overcome their anxiety, give up smoking whatever. But over the years as I have developed my Hypnotherapy skills, introduced Harley Street techniques and continued to use NLP at Master level I have seen many lives ‘change’.
Becoming a non-smoker
Take a smoker. Many smokers have tried to give up smoking a fair few times and feel frustrated and desperate to kick the habit but just can’t do it by themselves. They do some research and the idea of Hypnotherapy comes to them. They have their treatment and stop smoking easily. They are healthier, wealthier and free of the habit. It’s the easiest way to give up.
For some people losing weight changes their lives. They find that once they lose weight they have more energy and maybe start exercising. Maybe they find the confidence to do new things, go to new places, get a partner or a new job. Losing weight with Hypnotherapy can change people’s lives in many ways. And when I help you lose weight with Hypnotherapy, I build in healthy eating habits, portion control and confidence. And if necessary we fully explore the reasons for your weight gain or overeating and make that a thing of the past.
Being free of depression
If you suffer from depression you may feel like you are living under a dark cloud; like you can’t get motivated to do anything or really enjoy your life. Can you imagine how your life would change if you didn’t feel depressed? What would be different for you? Maybe your social life would be different or you would achieve more of the things that you really want to do. Or maybe your relationships would be better or you would just be much happier. Living without depression is definitely life changing.
Anxiety sufferers can be the most enthusiastic about their life changes! What’s not to like about a life without panic attacks, sweats, shortness of breath or routines you have to run because you feel controlled by your anxiety. I use a blend of techniques to help my anxiety clients and sometimes it can take as little as one session to remove anxiety they have carried for years (although I don’t guarantee one session because there should not be that expectation and every case in individual). I also provide all my anxiety clients with a maintenance plan so they have the confidence to know that they are in total control, whatever comes their way.
Live longer by dealing with stress
Now I don’t want to use scare tactics here but they do actually say that stress is the ‘silent killer. It is unbelievable how many people are living with stress to different degrees. You don’t need to be a stressful job or a turbulent relationship to suffer from stress (although these probably aren’t helpful to anyone). The definition of stress is how you cope in any given situation. So you could be stressed by normal life, family, work or even boredom. Hypnotherapy is deeply relaxing. It takes you to a calm place you may not have connected with before and just like going to the gym to exercise your body muscles, the more you exercise your mind ‘calm’ muscle, the stronger it gets. This means that you find it easier to remain calm and harder to be stressed. Hypnotherapy treatment for stress is more than just feeling relaxed, I help my clients look at their stress triggers and alternative ways to cope with those triggers. When you have less stress in your life this can be life changing if you sleep better, lower your blood pressure, have less anger and better relationships. You can also think more clearly and you are likely to be more creative as creativity is located in the unconscious mind which is present where you are relaxed.
So Hypnotherapists really do change lives. It’s a very rewarding job and every client’s success means that I never tire of this work and training and developing further.
How can I help you change your life?
- Your starting point might be to try my free relaxing download by signing up to my newsletter
- You might be fed up of living with your issue and want to take action NOW. So send me an email and I will give you a call to have a chat and make an appointment
I can wait to see what your new life looks like 🙂
Sending you magical vibes.
Is your mind unsettled?
Settled is a nice word. We settle babies when they are restless. We settle down into families, house, places, jobs, gym routines, diets.
But being unsettled in not nice. Particularly if it’s your mind that feels unsettled because somehow your mind feels like it affects everything about you. If you have a toothache, it’s unpleasant and painful but it doesn’t upset your whole body. It’s isolated to your mouth and your mouth feels ‘unsettled’. You just want it to be ok and ‘normal’ again.
But when your mind feels unsettled, it will affect all of you. Your mood, your energy, your ability, your communication and it might make you feel very restless and uneasy. Maybe physically sick or dizzy and you want to escape these feelings but you can’t because it’s your mind and you are stuck with it.
The symptoms of an unsettled mind:
An unsettled mind makes for an unsettled sleep. The brain likes to empty itself of anything unnecessary during sleep. But if your mind is unsettled you might find yourself tossing and turning in bed when it’s time to go to sleep. Or you might be able to get to sleep but wake in the night and find it difficult to go back to sleep. This can be very frustrating and the more you get frustrated the harder it is to get back to sleep. Or maybe you know you operate best on 8 hours of sleep but you keep waking up early before your alarm goes off and you can’t get back to sleep.
Unable to concentrate
You know how this feels. You want to do something but you don’t know what. When you feel negatively aroused your brain can go into a survival state, looking and listening for danger so it can keep you safe. The problem is that if your brain believes there is a danger lurking it will want to concentrate on that, not what else you want it to do. This can actually turn into an anxious state. If you are focused on feeling anxious or unsettled, it’s unlikely you will be able to focus on anything else. The more you worry about not being able to concentrate, the more you flit from thing to thing, not achieving much at all. Sometimes you are better to just give yourself a break. Do something that will make you feel better rather than one of the things on your to do list.
Appetite can go either way when people have unsettled minds. But whether you overeat or under-eat the likelihood is that you will make bad choices. It’s unlikely you will feel as in control of your eating as you would like to be. When you feel strong of mind and in control, it is easy to meal plan and create healthy food to nourish yourself.
When your mind is unsettled you won’t feel your confident self. You will be distracted and you will not have your full power. Because you feel less confident you might withdraw. This could give you time to heal but sometimes the right people can help lift you up. Help you understand that this will pass and you can get control back.
Here are some things you can do to settle your mind:
1 – Give yourself a sense of control. Do something easy and small which helps you feel back in control.
2 – Relax. Reassure your mind that there is no reason to worry.
3 – Be kind towards yourself. Life is full of challenges and this means that we will feel unsettled from time to time so ride it out and it will pass.
If feeling unsettled is not an ‘every now and then’ occurence and it is causing you a problem. Get in touch and we can work together to settle your mind and give you techniques for the future.
This blog is one in a series about self-development and ways to help you manage your mental health. I’m providing techniques and advice a Hypnotherapist and coach working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.
Quick review of yesterday’s list:
Yesterday you wrote a list of your favourite sounds. Are you going out of your way to listen to them to bring more joy into your life?
Your ‘getting ‘settled’ list.
For today’s list try to write a couple of things down that would make you feel more settled or things you can tell yourself the next time you feel unsettled. Then you have something to refer to in the future.
If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch on 07530 890089 or at firstname.lastname@example.org
Honey (Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).
8 ways to eat more healthy food very easily
It’s about that time when new year resolutions to eat more healthily might be getting tougher. You know what I mean don’t you? January 5th you were eating salads for lunch and now the sandwiches are creeping back in. You were ‘being good’ but now the odd biscuit is finding itself dunked in your tea and mints don’t count as sweets do they?
Changing your diet is a big deal. Not to be underestimated! Which is why it can be very difficult to stick to your new plan after the first week excitement has worn off. Just like the exercise post I wrote earlier this week, it helps greatly if you understand the real reasons you want a healthier diet. These will be different for everyone and it can be hard to understand the real real reasons. When I work with clients who want Hypnotherapy for weight loss (and stop smoking), we spend a lot of time getting to their ‘why’.
What’s your real why?
The why will be based around ‘away from’ or ‘towards’ mentality because this is how we tend to work when we are motivated.
Some examples of ‘away from’ are:
- Not wanting health issues
- Not wanting to be overweight
- Not wanting people to comment on your weight
Some examples of ‘towards’ are:
- Wanting to look a particular way
- A special occasion like a wedding
- Achieving a goal
- Trying to get pregnant
- Wanting to be fitter
There is no right or wrong, but there is usually one thing that stands out above the rest (easy to find in Hypnotherapy which accesses the unconcious mind which is where our deep routed beliefs and desires are held).
Once you have your real real reason why, remind yourself of it often and especially when you are feeling like you want to give into temptation.
So what are the easy ways to maintain your healthy eating plan?
1 – If cravings strike, have a glass of water. A craving will not last long, around 20 seconds. If you drink a glass of water it will stop your craving by distracting it. Disruption and confusion are very good techniques for interrupting brain patterns.
2 – Eat protein with every meal. Protein keeps you fuller longer and if you are fuller, you will be less inclined to want to nibble.
3 – Try to avoid processed sugar. Sugar is highly addictive and has a similar effect on the brain to cocaine! You will also cause blood sugar spikes which mean that when you crash, you will want more. If you need something sweet, aim for a small amount of dried fruit which at least has some vitamins in and is unlikely to be as moreish as chocolate and sweets. Or even better some fresh fruit.
4 – Have a nutrient rich smoothie. People fall into a trap of thinking that any smoothie is good news, but if it is just fruit that’s not the best way to go. Smoothies can really help you with a healthy diet if you make nutrient rich ones. I will be sharing 5 amazing smoothie recipes in a blog post soon.
5 – Make changes gradually like cutting out sugar first. Then maybe decreasing the amount of fat in your diet. And then increasing the amount of fruit and vegetables that you eat. So the changes are gradual, easier to manage and longer lasting. Think nutrients, not calories.
6 – Keep healthy snacks on you and around you. In your bag, pocket, car, desk drawer… everywhere! Healthy snacks can save you until dinner time and make all the difference. Some good healthy snacks are almonds, rice cakes, oat cakes and naked bars.
7 – Plan your meals. More about this in a future blog post!
8 – Have a mantra. If you feel yourself struggling.. say the mantra. Make it meaningful and tie in in with your why.
This blog is one in a 30 day series about self-development and practical lists we will be making to enhance our lives. I’m using these blogs to provide coaching and advice in my capacity as a qualified coach and Hypnotherapist working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.
Quick review of yesterday’s list:
Yesterday you made a list of ways you can personally relax. Have you spent your 2 minutes today relaxing?
Your next list:
For your next list , note down any of the things in the list that might help you stick to your healthy eating plan and any more you can think of.
Do you have a top tip? We would love to hear it in the comments :_
See you tomorrow.
Which is best for you? Hypnotherapy or Counselling?
Maybe you are someone who has had an issue your whole life or maybe issues seem to have found you during your life, but are you someone who is considering getting help? Maybe you know you don’t ‘feel right’or you’ve had a trauma at some stage in your life which has affected you and you feel like you need some help.
I really think there are specific issues and issues that seem to join forces and make us feel bad. What I mean by that is if you have say a fear of something like flying, snakes, spiders, heights… that’s a specific issue. But issues that join forces might be things that have hurt you over the course of your life and taken some of your happy away, affected your confidence, made you feel depressed and maybe make you behave in ways that don’t make you feel good. Life feels like a bit of a struggle.
And seperate to that we have weight loss, smoking and other addictions which can be a combination of habits, addiction and root causes combined.
You know you need help
So you feel like you need some help but how do you know who to go to?
You might go and see your doctor. Some doctors are sympathetic about such matters and others less so. your doctor may prescribe anti-depressants or ‘time to talk’ therapy which is available on the NHS. If the problem persists, they may put you on a waiting list for counselling or CBT for which the waiting list at the moment is about 8 weeks long in West Sussex.
I’m lucky enough to know some holistically minded doctors who know that I specialise in depression and do refer patients to me for Hypnotherapy if they feel that is appropriate.
- You might open up to friends or family and they might know someone who can help or have a friend who knows someone who can help.
- You might buy a self help book. 561,969 and counting currently on Amazon. But how will you know which one is right for you and will really make a difference to how you feel?
- Or you might Google something like ‘help with depression Worthing‘ and see what comes up (mostly counselling services).
The rapport with your therapist is important
I don’t know about you but I don’t air my dirty laundry to everyone! I like to have rapport and trust with someone I’m going to talk to about my problems. My advice when choosing is call them up or email them and ask for chat to see if they are the right person to help you. Do the ‘chemistry’ test. Are they the person that you will choose to hep you? you don’t want to be a someone that goes through their sausage machine of referrals, you want to be someone that they want to help make a significant difference to your life.
So what are the differences between Hypnotherapy and Counselling?
||Around 2 weeks
||Around 8 weeks in West Sussex for an NHS referral
|Price per session
|Length of a session
|Number of sessions required
||1-2 for anxiety, phobias and stop smoking. 4 for weight loss and depression
|Where does it take place
||Face to face or on Skype
||Face to face, group, email, phone
|How does it work
||Hypnotherapy relaxes the conscious mind to make changes in the subconscious (90% of the mind). Read more about this here
||Counselling is a talking therapy which focuses on reflecting on your experiences and understanding how they impacted you.
|What happens in a session
||Your Hypnotherapist will relax you and put you into Hypnosis (not scary, usually pleasant) and guide your subconscious into changes things that are not helpful and introducing things that are
||Your counsellor will ask you questions to help you open up and discuss issues that are affecting you. Your councellor will ask lots of ‘open’ questions to help you reflect and understand things
|Who is it suitable for
||Not Epileptics, Schizophrenics, Psychotics or people on Lithium or Halperidol
|Is it safe
||Yes with a qualified professional
||Yes with a qualified professional
|Is it confidential
|Is it available on NHS
|Is there follow up care
||Yes, often Hypnotherapists provide recordings for you to revisit for ‘maintenance’
|Does it change your life
||Yes. If you have a fear of flying you can go on holiday. You can stop those panic attacks. You can get confidence. You can get slim, stop smoking… Be happy!
||Maybe for some
|Is it suitable for children?
||Age 5+ but use a Hypnotherapist who has special training to work with children
||Yes lots of schools use counselling
|Who should choose what and why?
||Anxiety – quick lasting changes to how you feel and how you cope.
Phobias – can be removed in minutes
Stop smoking – in 2 sessions for good
Weight loss – not a diet but a new way of nourishing your body and losing weight for good
Sleep – clear your mind and sleep better than ever
Depression – release yourself from depression and feel happier
Stress – switch off like never before, relieve stress and learn self-hypnosis for a calmer life
|I think there are some matters that are very deep and personal. They need expertise and time.
Couples – relationship counselling can really help
Rape – highly sensitive
Alcoholism – expertise required
Bereavement – talking can really help (although Reiki is great for grief)
Bulimia and Anorexia – need expertise in most cases
Suicidal thoughts – call the Samaritans
Attitudes to therapy (taken from NHS website)
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Can Paul Mckenna really make you thin?
Paul Mckenna is probably the most famous Hypnotherapist in the world. It’s strange how he has almost always been part of my life from when he was a DJ on Capital FM.
I first saw Paul in the flesh in Wimbledon theatre about 20 years ago at a Hypnotherapy show. He Hypnotised my friend who was actually a sceptic that it would work!
Being a Hypnotherapist myself, I have been lucky enough to train with Paul Mckenna in person. He has Hypnotised me too; he has a lovely rich smooth voice 🙂
I am constantly in professional development. I go on about five training courses a year in person to learn new concepts and techniques to benefit my clients. I also watch lots of content and read lots of books. As I’ve recently been running a 30 day blog about healthy eating, it made sense to revisit a classic book. ‘I can make you thin’ by Paul Mckenna. Paul is Britain’s best selling non-fiction author and I would imagine that this has sold millions of copies across the world!
The book is thin!
The first thing I noticed about this book was how thin it was. Was that a message to my subconscious? The book comes with a CD which is about 30 minutes long and Paul says it will change the way I think about food and feel better about myself. I like this approach as there are studies that suggest you need to work on self-esteem before or during weight loss, or it’s likely that you will put weight back on again.
Paul recommends listening to the CD every day for the best results. This is also an approach I use with my clients as I give them a personalised recording of their sessions to listen to during their Hypnotherapy weight loss journey.
In the preface by Ronald Ruden, M.D., P.H.D, he makes the point that food is freely available. This is important. It cannot be avoided. This means that temptation is everywhere. You can’t go in a coffee shop without being faced with an array of cakes, sandwiches and biscuits. Even the drinks can have up to 700 calories a piece and are like meals in themselves. Caramel chocolate hazelnut latte with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles anyone?
Tackle the stress first
It’s great that the book talks about reducing the stress that diets cause, but actually stress of any kind can trigger overeating and mindless eating. Stress would be a major factor of overeating and weight gain in my opinion and I would work on stress with all my clients. Feeling relaxed is pleasant and greatly beneficial for opening the subconscious, clearing negative thoughts and creating space for wonderful new positive thoughts and behaviours.
I didn’t like the sound of this being ‘an approach to controlling the response to hunger’ because for me, healthy eating isn’t about being hungry. It’s about eating foods which sustain you and nourish your body and reducing the amount of processed food, sugar and saturated fat that you eat.
Eat like slim people
Paul starts by saying ‘how would you like to eat whatever you want whenever you want and still lose weight’? Of course! Sounds wonderful thanks Paul. He says that this is not like other weight loss approaches and people might be angry about all the money they’ve spent on other diets!
I love that Paul has put his NLP training into practise by modelling his system on the habits of naturally slim people that he has modelled. This means he has seen what they do and used that to develop his system.
Paul says that 90% of people that diet fail! And they fall into three groups of:
‘Forget about dieting. For ever. Diets are no more than training courses in how to get fat and feel like a failure’.
Paul says to deprive yourself of food is the worst possible way to lose weight and backs this up with a study from the second world war where people were starved and once food became available they ate up to eight times more. Even three months later.
Emotional eating has nothing to do with physical hunger, but a hunger for emotional fulfilment. I like the way he suggests asking yourself before you snack if you are hungry or just want to feel different. This really brings you in touch with your physical and emotional needs. If you are hungry you can choose to eat something. If you are not actually hungry, you need a strategy for managing your emotions and changing your state. Something I always help my clients with.
He notes that sometimes weight gain follows a traumatic incident but people do not connect the two. In these incidences he suggests seeing an appropriate therapist.
I have had many clients that have worked on significant issues. Whatever treatment you come for; I am equipped to deal.
Paul actually goes so far as to say the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to go into the subconscious mind and change your relationship with food forever. I see this differently. Many people successfully lose weight with will power which is part of the conscious mind. Many people go to slimming groups and become ‘target’ members. This means that they get to go to the same slimming group every week for life and for free as long as they stay in a particular weight range. And many do. This is what I would call an ‘away from’ strategy where the fear of putting the weight back on keeps that person slim. This works for many.
But there are many more people that lose weight in a similar way and put it back on and I get lots of those clients. We work together and yes we use the subconcious mind. We will cover reasons and triggers for overeating and change them. So you could say this is a ‘towards strategy’ which provides inspiration that things can change for good. But without being monitored and without counting calories so you can look forward to a life without the chains caused by overeating and being overweight. You will be doing it because every part of you wants to and can see the benefits of doing so. It’s exciting and life doesn’t feel like ‘being on a diet’.
Paul uses great metaphoric language to explain that learning to eat right is just like learning to tie your shoelaces or drive a car. You need to spend some time and practice doing it, but after a while it becomes second nature and you don’t even think about it very much!
Paul’s Golden Rules
Going back to the slim people he had modelled, Paul says there are four golden rules he has identified:
1 – When you are hungry eat
This is such great advice as it stops blood sugar nose diving and stops the body panicking and storing fat it doesn’t need. He calls being hungry ‘the body’s natural call for food’ which I think is a great term for it.
2 – Eat what you what, not what you think you should eat
This chapter was excellent and covered an interesting experiment with toddlers and trusting the body to ask for what it needed if nothing was restricted.
3 – Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful
Here Paul said that he had noticed that overweight people spend a lot of time thinking about food except when they are eating it and are then busy enjoying it.
4 – When you think you are full, STOP eating
This one sounds obvious but there is evidence that it takes the stomach time to realise that it’s full. So you could be eating a lot more food than you need that time. That’s why rule 3 is a good one. By slowing down your eating you are giving your stomach a chance to realise that it’s being fed.
Programming your mind to be slim
As a Hypnotherapist this was my favourite part of the book! I love how Paul talks about the power of our imagination. He gives an exercise to demonstrate how your imagination is so powerful you can imagine tasting chocolate cake and also something disgusting happening to that cake.
He also how words can ‘sell’ food. I just found this description of plums on the Waitrose website!
‘Sweet, juicy plums are truly a treat. The most popular varieties combine honeyed sweetness with a hint of acidity that makes them useful for cooking as well as eating just as they are’. This is a great tantalising description of a plum 🙂
I love the way Paul talks about focusing on what we do want rather than what we don’t. As I mentioned earlier, this is a ‘toward’ strategy, rather than an ‘away from’ strategy. ‘Toward’ strategies have much more long standing power than ‘away from’ as they are driven by inspiration and hope, rather than fear and hurt.
If you put a picture of yourself overweight on your fridge you are in fact focusing your mind on a negative image. It might make you feel bad and this is not a good starting place for your weight loss plan that will need your focus and effort.
You need to create a positive self-image
Paul talks about how important it is to work on your self-image. He describes it as ‘the blueprint that determines everything about you, from how motivated, intelligent and confident you are willing to let yourself be’. This gave me tingles because I cannot tell you how many clients I’ve had who are so talented, clever, kind, whatever, but lack a positive self-image.
I work with my clients to improve their self-image. This is what I call ‘work of the self’ and it changes lives. Nothing really changes except how the person feels about themselves, but it can change everything.
I like the example Paul gives of someone who is not classically attractive but their self-confidence makes them attractive to others. And this reinforces their own feelings of feeling attractive so is self-fulfilling.
You can 100% change your self-image.
Paul goes on to cover visualisation, emotional eating, exercise, motivation, craving and questions and ends by reminding readers that ultimately they need to take action to make being thin a habit.
In a nutshell
On Amazon this book these questions are asked when selling this book:
Would you like to eat whatever you want and still lose weight?
Would you like to feel really happy with your body?
Are you unable to lose those last 10 pounds? Do you find it difficult to say no to second helpings?
Do you get disheartened about your eating habits and your weight?
Then this amazing book and CD can help you!
I think this book could live up to these promises for some people, especially as it has a CD to listen to with it as a book alone is unlikely to make these changes.
But for those who need the personal touch and a customised Hypnotherapy weight loss plan or Hypno Gastric Band, please get in touch. I also offer a 4 week unique ‘go sugar-free programme’ which I have been running Worldwide on Skype for 3 years.
Why sign up for my newsletter?
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