The working mums easy recipe for a stress free life

The working mums easy recipe for a stress free life

The working mums easy recipe for a stress free life

Do you feel stressed? Maybe you have a stressful job or you find raising children stressful. Or are you just very busy and no one really understands that stress is unavoidable for you?  Maybe you feel like stress is just the norm and you need to ride it out, wait for the children to get older or wait for retirement.

Being stressed due your circumstances is actually a bit of a myth. Some people can cope with a lot going on and not feel stressed at all. Others feel stressed more easily. The difference is the way we handle our minds; that is our thoughts and how we respond.

What is true is modern life is getting busier and busier and mind management might not be at the top of your to do list. A lot of people now make time to work out and keep their body fit as they have realised they can be stronger and healthier for longer when they do this. But the mind needs work do. It controls the body after all!

Maybe you don’t often find time to cook. There are plenty of tasty things available that you don’t need to cook right? But how about a recipe to reduce your stress? That doesn’t  take a lot of time and effort. That you have all the ingredients for already. That will be delicious when you savour it and you will be delighted that you discovered it.

 

Preparation time

You brain is constantly being reshaped throughout your life by your experiences and thoughts. You can weaken or strengthen pathways in your brain by the thoughts you have. The more you worry or stress the stronger those networks get. But if you focus on being calm or positive, these pathways can also strengthen (even when you feel overwhelmed).

There is a part of the brain called the Amygdala which manages your fight or flight response and the productions of stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. Although the Amygdala is two small almond shaped areas of the brain (the structure is actually a bit bigger) it is very important and powerful. Mindfullness and meditation are great techniques for focusing attention and awareness so the Amygdala has less control. Regular meditation settles your mind and helps you manage your emotions more effectively. Regular meditation and mindfullness practice reduce the size of the Amygdala (your brain almonds).

It should only take about 10-15 minutes a day to meditate or practice mindfullness but in my experience of treating stress as a Hypnotherapist, a lot of stressed people won’t find the time. Or they can’t do it by themselves. Or they haven’t truly felt the benefit of deep relaxation because if they had, they would want it again!

Cooking time

To change your state from stress can just a couple of minutes with the right recipe. For a deeper relaxation and to let go of what’s worrying you or stressing you takes about half an hour.

Serves

This dish is best served to those that are feeling stressed, worried or overwhelmed. If you are having trouble sleeping, concentrating or feeling any of these physical symptoms as a result of stress you need to make this recipe:

  • Heart racing
  • Sweaty
  • Red face
  • Shaky
  • Nauseous
  • Uncontrolled breathing
  • Finding it hard to concentrate
  • Dizzy
  • Upset
  • Mood swings

Ingredients

The ingredients to a calmer life are super easy to get hold of! You need:

  • A body
  • A brain
  • A quiet place (although once you’ve got the hang of this recipe you can whip it up almost anywhere)
  • A relaxation recording
  • Candles if you like that sort of thing
  • Good intentions

 

You will also need

If you would like to relax and feel good in 12 minutes you can get my free recording by signing up here. This recording will be yours to keep and can be listened to whenever you want to feel relaxed and refreshed. This is the equivalent to a guided meditation or mindfulness session.

Nutritional information

One in 4 people will suffer from a mental health issue. Prevention is key. By learning to manage your stress you will lower your chances of suffering or continuing to suffer in these areas

  • Depression and anxiety
  • Weight problems
  • Auto immune diseases
  • Skin conditions, such as eczema
  • Heart disease
  • Digestive problems
  • Sleep problems
  • Cognitive and memory problems

 

If you already suffer from any of the above you will no doubt have noticed how they are aggravated by stress.

I don’t know if you know any stressed people but you might have noticed that they can’t engage properly as they are so caught up in their own stress. They may be fractious, unsettled and rushed. Stress can affect relationships greatly.

Directions

So what’s the recipe? How do you make this stress free life?

1 – Know or admit that you are stressed. Don’t fight it. It is not a sign of weakness, in fact you are being strong by taking control of your own thoughts and emotions and managing your health to prevent something nasty.

2 – Own your stress and the management of it. This is a really important step in making changes and applies to weight loss, stop smoking and depression too. When you own your problem, you are becoming accountable and are responsible for the making things better. You will also get great satisfaction and sense of achievement once you have overcome the issue. Changes last if you own them and learn strategies and techniques for making changes yourself.

3 – Find something that works for you. There are numerous books, audios, online programmes, mindfulness classes and courses. But just like there are many types of recipe for paella, there will be some you like more than others and then you will find your favourite.

4 – If the recipe doesn’t work. Modify, find new ingredients and try again. The number of clients I get that say they tried mediation or mindfulness and it didn’t work. Then we do Hypnotherapy and they are amazed at this relaxation that becomes theirs! Once they have connected to that calm place they will want to get back to it and make it their mission to do so. Maybe with my help for a few weeks, but then I teach them self hypnosis and off they go. I give my clients personalised recordings to listen to whenever they like.

5 – Make it often. Make it your signature dish. Savour the flavour and welcome it into your life. Tell other people about it and share the fantastic flavour of calm for a more creative, productive and enjoyable life.

Summary

calm

The thing with stress is that people think that it’s part of modern life. And another misconception is that you need to be busy and ‘switched on’ to be effective. This is a complete myth as being calm and in control can give you better creativity and ideas and make you achieve much more (without the angst).

Mindfulness has become popular but Mindfulness, Meditation and Hypnotherapy have similarities in that they all work on slowing the brain down and accessing our subconcious. Hypnotherapy is different in that it can make changes in the subconcious by taking things that are not useful away like phobias, anxiety, smoking and overeating and putting more useful things in like calm and confidence. Hypnotherapy achieves a much deeper level of relaxation than the other practices.

Commit to making changes that will make you feel lighter and brighter and put you back in control. Become accountable NOW.  All the power to manage your mind is in you, you just need to learn how to do it and practice often. This can become part of your life.

This is your recipe for a stress free life. You can tweak it, add flavours and spices of your own choosing to really make it your favourite dish.

The cherry on top

If you are feeling stressed and would like to change how you feel, connect with a deep sense of calm within yourself and understand how to manage your thoughts then email me for a free 20 minute consultation. Even after 20 minutes, you will feel different!

Hug (which are known for being calming)

Honey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Which is best for you? Hypnotherapy or Counselling?

Which is best for you? Hypnotherapy or Counselling?

Maybe you are someone who has had an issue your whole life or maybe issues seem to have found you during your life, but are you someone who is considering getting help? Maybe you know you don’t ‘feel right’or you’ve had a trauma at some stage in your life which has affected you and you feel like you need some help.

I really think there are specific issues and issues that seem to join forces and make us feel bad. What I mean by that is if you have say a fear of something like flying, snakes, spiders, heights… that’s a specific issue. But issues that join forces might be things that have hurt you over the course of your life and taken some of your happy away, affected your confidence, made you feel depressed and maybe make you behave in ways that don’t make you feel good. Life feels like a bit of a struggle.

And seperate to that we have weight loss, smoking and other addictions which can be a combination of habits, addiction and root causes combined.

 You know you need help

doctor

So you feel like you need some help but how do you know who to go to?

You might go and see your doctor. Some doctors are sympathetic about such matters and others less so. your doctor may prescribe anti-depressants or ‘time to talk’ therapy which is available on the NHS. If the problem persists, they may put you on a waiting list for counselling or CBT for which the waiting list at the moment is about 8 weeks long in  West Sussex.

I’m lucky enough to know some holistically minded doctors who know that I specialise in depression and do refer patients to me for Hypnotherapy if they feel that is appropriate.

  • You might open up to friends or family and they might know someone who can help or have a friend who knows someone who can help.
  • You might buy a self help book. 561,969 and counting currently on Amazon. But how will you know which one is right for you and will really make a difference to how you feel?
  • Or you might Google something like ‘help with depression Worthing‘ and see what comes up (mostly counselling services).

The rapport with your therapist is important

I don’t know about you but I don’t air my dirty laundry to everyone! I like to have rapport and trust with someone I’m going to talk to about my problems. My advice when choosing is call them up or email them and ask for chat to see if they are the right person to help you. Do the ‘chemistry’ test. Are they the person that you will choose to hep you? you don’t want to be a someone that goes through their sausage machine of referrals, you want to be someone that they want to help make a significant difference to your life.

So what are the differences between Hypnotherapy and Counselling?

Hypnotherapy Counselling
Waiting list Around 2 weeks Around 8 weeks in West Sussex for an NHS referral
Price per session £85 £50
Length of a session 1 hour 1 hour
Number of sessions required 1-2 for anxiety, phobias and stop smoking. 4 for weight loss and depression 4 upwards
Where does it take place Face to face or on Skype Face to face, group, email, phone
How does it work Hypnotherapy relaxes the conscious mind to make changes in the subconscious (90% of the mind). Read more about this here Counselling is a talking therapy which focuses on reflecting on your experiences and understanding how they impacted you.
What happens in a session Your Hypnotherapist will relax you and put you into Hypnosis (not scary, usually pleasant) and guide your subconscious into changes things that are not helpful and introducing things that are Your counsellor will ask you questions to help you open up and discuss issues that are affecting you. Your councellor will ask lots of ‘open’ questions to help you reflect and understand things
Who is it suitable for Not Epileptics, Schizophrenics, Psychotics or people on Lithium or Halperidol Everyone
Is it safe Yes with a qualified professional Yes with a qualified professional
Is it confidential Yes Yes
Is it available on NHS Not yet! Yes
Is there follow up care Yes, often Hypnotherapists provide recordings for you to revisit for ‘maintenance’ No
Does it change your life Yes. If you have a fear of flying you can go on holiday. You can stop those panic attacks. You can get confidence. You can get slim, stop smoking… Be happy! Maybe for some
Is it suitable for children? Age 5+ but use a Hypnotherapist who has special training to work with children Yes lots of schools use counselling
Who should choose what and why? Anxiety – quick lasting changes to how you feel and how you cope.

Phobias – can be removed in minutes

Stop smoking – in 2 sessions for good

Weight loss – not a diet but a new way of nourishing your body and losing weight for good

Sleep – clear your mind and sleep better than ever

Depression – release yourself from depression and feel happier

Stress – switch off like never before, relieve stress and learn self-hypnosis for a calmer life

I think there are some matters that are very deep and personal. They need expertise and time.

Couples – relationship counselling can really help

Rape – highly sensitive

Alcoholism – expertise required

Bereavement – talking can really help (although Reiki is great for grief)

Bulimia and Anorexia – need expertise in most cases

Suicidal thoughts – call the Samaritans

Attitudes to therapy (taken from NHS website)

In 2014 the BACP carried out some research to find out more about people’s attitudes towards counselling and psychotherapy. Some of the key findings included:

  • 28% of people have consulted a counsellor or psychotherapist (up from 21% in 2010)
  • 54% of respondents said that they, a family member, friend or work colleague have consulted a counsellor or psychotherapist
  • 69% of people think the world would be a better place if people talked about their feelings more

Read more about the key findings of the BACP research (PDF, 134kb).

Charities and voluntary organisations

There are some wonderful charities and voluntary organisations really helping people with their counselling. These organisations usually specialise in a particular area, such as couples counselling, bereavement, or family guidance.

Charities that may offer counselling include:

  • Cruse Bereavement Care – provides bereavement advice and support
  • Relate – offers relationship advice and counselling
  • Rape Crisis – for women and girls who’ve been raped or sexually abused
  • Victim Support – provides victims and witnesses of crime with help and support

You may also be able to access support groups through your local community, church, or social services.

There is something for everyone

The important thing is that there are so many ways for people to get help with their mental health now. It’s not taboo to talk about it anymore. People want the longest, best lives they can possibly have and there seems to be recognition that buying things to make us feel better is not the answer. This is a short term strategy! Invest in yourself, your mental and physical health and life is better. Health is the new wealth 🙂

I see a lot of people that are using Hypnotherapy as a last resort. They’ve had counselling, CBT, psychotherapy, medication you name it. But they want to feel significantly different. They don’t want to talk about what’s been and gone over and over, they want to move on and replace those feelings with something else. They want a brighter future and a better life. The two phrases my clients use the most are ‘that was amazing’ and ‘I wish I had come sooner’. Often they have used a lot of time,  money and energy trying to ‘fix’ themselves and really could have sorted things out much sooner.

If you want help call me on 07530 890089 or email me  We can have a chat about what’s right for you.

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Hug

Honey

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