Yesterday was shrove Tuesday here in the UK which inspired me to write a flat as a pancake post.
You will probably live a long time. The UK comes 21st out of the 35 developed nations studied for female life expectancy, at 85.2 years, and 14th for men, at 82.5 years. So it’s probably a good idea to make as many years of those happy ones 🙂
It’s quite common for people to suffer a dip in life satisfaction at some point in their lives, with the most common age for this around early to mid forties. This is often referred to a a mid life crisis. Yesterday I took 2 bookings from people in this age range who felt they need to evaluate their lives and make sure that the rest of their life gives them satisfaction.
So what are the reasons for feeling as flat as a pancake? Although they will be different for everyone, here are some of the themes I see in my work as a Hypnotherapist and coach specialising in what is labelled as ‘depression’ but today we can call it feeling as ‘flat as a pancake’.
People fall out of love with partners and themselves. Even though I am reluctant to use the word ‘self-love’, it is important to value yourself or you will attract all sorts of trouble into your life. You may become a people pleaser who can’t say no to others because you don’t have enough self-esteem to do so and fear upsetting others. Or you might attract people into your life that don’t value you because you don’t value yourself very much. The good news is that self-esteem is easily increased with a bit of self reflection and work. This is a big part of my work with my clients. Some people find a new lease of love for others once they like themselves more. And some people find the confidence to end bad relationships in pursuit of happiness alone or with a new partner.
Many people build great careers and businesses in their twenties and thirties only to find that the money doesn’t give them the kind of happiness they seek in later life. Maybe the working hours or conditions clash with their desire to be with their family or the work/life balance is out of kilter. Often, people chase the ‘dream’ only to feel unfulfilled when they get it. This is because deep down inside money isn’t one of their key values so the sacrifice that has to be made to get the money (and there often is one) just doesn’t sit right. It’s really useful to uncover your values and align your life and the way you spend your time and energy to your values which means you feel more at home in your own skin and much happier with your life. This is a key part of the work I do with my clients and they are often surprised at what is really important to them.
You get a job and you are *insert your name* the manager, or the accountant, or the teacher or whatever. You get married and you are *insert husband or wife’s name* husband or wife. You have children and you are *insert childrens’ names* mum or dad. So who are you really. Seriously, try and answer that question now. It’s usually hard for people! When I do identity work with people, I help them rediscover parts of themselves that they have forgotten
Life can dampen dreams. When you ask a child what they want to be when they grow up, they don’t wait and think will it pay their mortgage, will they be able to handle the commute, is there career progression and will it ever offer flexible working. They answer from their HEART. They say things like ‘pop star’, ‘astronaut’ or ‘football player’. They dream big in line with their passions, the things that excite them, where they think they will be happy. Dreams are different to goals. Goals are usually SMART (smart, measurable, achieveable, realistic and timebound) and yes, goals can leads towards your dreams. But dreams light you up and excite you and everyone should have at least one dream. Who knows, it might even come true 🙂
Pitfalls of being a pancake
If you find yourself feeling flat as a pancake you might sink into depression. People can stay in this situation for weeks, months and even years. But what people don’t realise is that you can do a lot to help yourself ease depression or even shake it off altogether.
You might find yourself comfort eating to counteract what’s missing in your life. Or emotional eating to avoid facing up to things.
Often people become anxious when they feel out of control or lost in their lives. Almost like a symptom for things that aren’t right. Anxiety sometimes follows stress or comes before depression.
Some people can tolerate stress for a long time before they ‘snap’ or ‘crumble’. Once this has happened they find themselves assessing their lives and looking to avoid the same situation. Don’t underestimate stress (it’s not called the silent killer for nothing).
So what can you do if you feel flat as a pancake?
It really helps to get some help when you feel as flat as a pancake. I help people smooth issues of the past and feel better about the future. Your thoughts will feel more organised and you will be able to think more clearly with a renewed sense of purpose.
Once you let the stuff you’ve been carrying for years, decades or a lifetime go, you will be amazed how much lighter and brighter you feel. I will help you get back in touch with yourself, understand your needs and what you need to do to meet them. We will look at ways to bring joy into your life so you feel happier and fulfilled.
It is never too late for a new beginning, every single day is a clean slate waiting to be filled by you.
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A day in the food diary of Jacqui Malpass
Roughly two months ago, I had the brilliant idea of getting a well woman test. The test came back – you have an overactive thyroid. I was naffed off as you can imagine. After doing some research, I went back to the doctors with my nutrition plan. He gave me six weeks to prove I could turn everything back to normal. Of course, I did!
In addition to my already fab diet, I gave up gluten, nightshades (potatoes, peppers, aubergines, goji berries and tomatoes). There were days that I opened the fridge and thought what am I going to eat. Or screaming up the walls because I wanted cake. And then I thought ‘get off your ass and experiment.’
On Sunday, for example, I started the day, as normal with a glass of water and a doggie walk. I have become a ‘how to drink water properly’ freak. On returning, it’s another glass of water and a 30 minute wait until my taste buds were delighted with fresh figs from my neighbour with a touch of Greek yoghurt (I can’t quite get this out of my system, just yet), with Maca, Baobob and raw chocolate.
One of my absolute must haves is variety, so on other days it’s out with my Nutribullet and a concoction of some description, usually with avocado, chia, ginger, turmeric and raw chocolate featuring amongst other ingredients. Smoothies are rarely planned, more mmmm what do I fancy?
My banana bread treat
After a few hours of writing I am usually busting for chocolate and with none to be found (I simply do not buy crap), I have to make some. Chocolate truffles can be melting in my mouth in about 20 minutes.
My what cake can I make is typically based on a banana bread recipe. If I don’t have bananas I use whatever is to hand. The last chocolate ‘bread’ I made was with beetroot and raw chocolate. 1 hour later and I have cake. I never realised how easy it is to have cakes (gluten and sugar-free) and chocolates until I found myself in a position of needing to make them. It is so easy
Lunch is a small affair
Lunch is always a small affair. Gluten free crackers, humus (home-made), avocado and an apple or crackers, almond butter, goats cheese and an apple. To be honest, I am rarely hungry during the day, but at least I know that I have had something.
The evening sees us wandering out to the rambla (dried river bed) for our evening sniff and then it’s back to staring forlornly in the fridge. The fridge is packed with organic veggies; my brain is however not always packed with inspiration.
A few times of opening and closing said fridge door, and I can devise something yummy – though not always. Today, for example, I have already decided on sweet potato tortilla with a massive salad and a cheeky glass of cider. My rules about not drinking with food are often broken in the evening. Life can’t be all about being good can it?
Embrace the hard facts
If you find yourself faced with hard facts that mean that you have to change your lifestyle, please embrace it. My diet is amazing, and I eat fantastically well.
Things don’t always work out, like the time I thought I had defrosted lentil burgers, and it was biscuit mix. Tasted odd fried (in coconut oil) with veg, but there you go.
Making lots of something, bread, cakes, burgers, casseroles / stews, hummus, means that when inspiration leaves me, I can hunt around in the freezer and usually find something I fancy.
You can find Jacqui at JacquiMalpass.com & ConsciousWomenTribe.com
A note from Honey….
Thank you Jacqui for sharing your food diary with us. I shall be making the banana bread.
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What is Hypnotherapy?
Most of the time in day to day life we operate in a conscious state. We make conscious decisions like what to have for breakfast, which route to take to work, what words we say and how we choose to spend our time. Let’s call that chosen behaviour. The conscious part of our brain accounts for about 10% of the brain. So what is the other 90%? Well… hello subconscious mind. I will explain more about the subconscious mind in a later blog.
In a Hypnotherapy session….
The Hypnotherapist will make you comfortable and discuss your issue. The Hypnotherapist will then talk to you (in a special way!). The talk will follow a pattern of relaxing you, deepening the level of relaxation, exploring your subconscious and making changes.
During Hypnosis, you are in control and won’t say or do anything you don’t want to. You are able to move and speak and in complete control. It will feel deeply relaxing and pleasant. What is actually happening is the brain is being relaxed and slowed down. This means that your conscious mind is ‘switched off’ and the subconscious is fully present and open to change.
Your eyes will close and you will feel more relaxed than you have ever felt before. You will be able to connect to a new calm that you will be able to access again and again. Many people who experience Hypnotherapy are amazed by how relaxing it is and how different they feel even from the first session.
How can Hypnotherapy help you?
Hypnotherapy brings significant change, often to long term issues like weight loss, stopping smoking, depression, anxiety, phobias, stress, sleep problems, panic attacks, depression, confidence and self-esteem. The reason it is so effective is because it is working with the most powerful part of the mind, the subconcious, which stores all our experiences and beliefs.
The number of Hypnotherapy sessions that you will need varies from 2 upwards, but the changes last a lifetime. Hypnotherapy is safe and a natural state which we slip into anyway.
Get in touch so I can help you or your child.
I use Hypnotherapy, NLP, Reiki and life coaching to help children over 5 and adults overcome problems and issues. I work face to face in Lancing, Worthing, Shoreham and Brighton and worldwide on Skype. I love talking to people and would happy to have a chat with you about how I could help you or your child.
Famous Hypnotherapists are Paul McKenna and Richard Bandler, both of who I have trained with.
There is lots of information on my website, Facebook and Twitter or you can call me on 07530 890089