Why Black Friday won’t make you happy

Why Black Friday won’t make you happy

Wow, there is a lot of excitement in the air today on this, Black Friday, but here is why Black Friday won’t make you happy.

A plethora of good and services

Do you like choice? Or does it confuse and overwhelm you? I know for many of my clients they suffer from overwhelm and feel desperate to declutter and simplify their lives and minds.

When you are surrounded by stuff it will add to feelings of stress and confusion. It also affects the flow of energy in your home which is what Feng Shui is all about. And have you every noticed how well your personal energy flows when your home is clean and tidy? Some decluttering experts such as Mary Kondo will advise you to only have things in your home that you really love and bring you pleasure. This is a lovely concept as it means whatever you use or look at in your home will bring you joy. Bringing joy into your life is a big part of my work with helping clients overcome depression.

So this Black Friday there might be some offers for things you have been thinking of buying for a while, or want to buy as a gift for Christmas like:

But can I suggest that you don’t get sucked into buying things that have no use or you have never considered yourself needing before, as these are likely to be the things that bring short term happiness (if any at all).

Reward centres

Shopping in a pastime enjoyed by many (or even most people). We ‘treat’ ourselves to pretty things, tasty things and things that excite or interest us. Things that we can wear to make us ‘feel good’. Things to make our home ‘look good’ and gadgets to make life ‘easier’.

For some, shopping feels like love.

This is because shopping briefly lights up the ‘reward centre’ of your brain. In simple terms, your brain is designed to seek pleasure or avoid pain.

To satisfy your brains need for pleasure, it works in a cycle of desire, action and satisfaction. An example of this could be wanting positive feedback from someone, doing something for them and getting the feedback which makes you feel good. When you feel good from the feedback your brain lights up its pleasure circuit and this makes you want to do it again. This is called positive reinforcement. Think children and animals here. When you positively reinforce good behaviour they are more likely to do it again.

Shopping lights up most people’s pleasure circuit. But is it enough to make you happy at a deeper level? Or is this happiness short lived? Let’s explore that.

Short term feelings of happiness

Abraham  Maslow was an American psychologist who created the pyramid below now known as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.Maslow's hierarchy of needs

The pyramid reflects that as complex beings, we need more than just the basics. Yes we need shelter and food. But then we move into the more emotional levels of love, self esteem and our own personal potential and fulfilment.

I see a lot of clients who need help with life direction. Often in their forties or fifties, they’ve worked, raised families, had relationships or marriages and on paper have what look to be successful and fortunate lives. But they are not happy. They don’t know who they are anymore and what the rest of their life will be like. They feel empty, lost and confused. This is to do with not operating in the top of Maslow’s triangle and don’t worry, after 4 sessions and a deep dive into themselves, they are right as rain.

So you see, shopping doesn’t really touch many of the levels of Maslow’s triangle which is why yes it may feels great in the short term, but because it hasn’t fulfilled you on an emotional level, you feel may feel empty and sad still, despite some wonderful Black Friday deals.

 

Feelings of emptiness

I would suggest that Cyber Monday was created to address the lull and emptiness that Black Friday might create. All that excitement on Black Friday, hunting deals, comparing features, accessing which colour will work best and then it stops. Oh no, all the website timers are at 0 and there are no more deals. But wait! You can do it all again on Cyber Monday and feed your reward centre once more. Hoorah. And then Tuesday comes 🙁

To address feelings of emptiness many people self-medicate with food, cigarettes, sex, alcohol, drugs or other things. Like shopping, these things do not address your emotional needs for satisfaction. You need to go inside and understand what makes you tick, what fulfils and motivates you. When you know these things, you can live a life that has these things in and lights up your pleasure centres. My work with clients is all about this which I call ‘finding your joy’. I know it can seem hard when it’s not happening but it is possible, I promise.

 

My Black Friday offer

The intention of this post was to show you that ‘stuff’ might not be the answer to your happiness. But can the same be said for experiences? In 2015, I had a whole year of not buying any stuff and spent by money on experiences instead. Wow that was a great year. And I have the photos to prove it lol.

Because I am a Hypnotherapist (I’ve started to say with knobs on because what I do is use a number of techniques to get best outcomes for my clients) what I offer you is life changing. A deep dive into self to overcome issues that hold you back and create the motivation, confidence and direction for your wonderful future.

So this Black Friday I invite you to pick up the phone, call me 07530 890089 and have your free 20 minute consultation. If you decide to book in for some sessions, you might not even notice next Black Friday as you may just be living your dream.

Sending you happy vibes.

Honey

Why National Stress Awareness Day could save your life

Why National Stress Awareness Day could save your life

I know the title ‘Why National Stress Awareness Day’ could save your life sounds dramatic, but it is true.

Stress is called the silent killer

According to the World Health Organisation Of the 56.4 million deaths worldwide in 2015, more than half (54%) were due to the top 10 causes. And the top 2 causes for the past 15 years have been Ischaemic heart disease and stroke. Stress is often a feature of these two causes.

Have you accepted stress as part of your life?

Society has really changed hasn’t it. More families with both parents working, single parent families, caring responsibilities. Expensive houses to pay for, images and expectations to live up to and of course social media to keep up with.

There’s children’s education, clubs, hobbies, social events and physical and emotional needs to attend to.

You might choose to study. Maybe while working, running a home and raising a family at the same time.

Then there is convienience food and spending a lot of time sitting in jobs that require computer work. And a competitive environment for well paid work.

Wow, it’s stressful even writing all that.

Everyone seems to be in such a rush and has accepted that as normal. Have you?

Hence the popularity of retreats!

What impact is this stress having on your life?

You know the drill. Work as hard as possible do everything as listed above. But you are not too worried because yes! You have a holiday to look forward to. Maybe even all inclusive. Everything done for you. You can really enjoy this time to relax and unwind and just ‘be’. You arrive on the holiday and spend the first few days in a vegetated state. Or even worse… ill! You can’t believe it. Where is your energy? And your joy? They seemed to have gone on a different holiday!

This is so common for people who are living in a stressed state most of the time. The body gets a glimpse of ‘stopping’ and it makes the most of it.

Things you may not have noticed as signs of stress

Thing is, when stress creeps up gradually, you don’t always notice it. You take on more and more. Do more and more. And you are so busy you don’t notice some of the symptoms of stress are upon you like:

  • Headaches
  • Muscular pain in our neck, shoulders or back
  • Fatigue and low energy levels
  • Raised blood pressure
  • Palpitations
  • Increased pain thresholds
  • Poor sleep patterns
  • Poor breathing
  • Suppressed immune system  and increased susceptibility to infections
  • Increases in blood sugar and cholesterol levels

 

Don’t ignore the signs

burnout

Left ignored these symptoms can build into bigger problems like burnout, depression and anxiety. It is your body and mind’s way of rebelling against the pressure it’s under.

Once you suffer from these they may affect:
  • Your relationships with family or friends
  • Your hobbies, interests and leisure time
  • Your performance at work, school or college

 

This is the most important point in this blog:

Noticing yourself is the answer to good health. Noticing how you feel. Noticing your energy levels. Your mood. Your interactions with others. How your body feels.

Imagine you had a leaking tap in your bathroom? And you didn’t notice. And it kept dripping and started creating a small flow of water that needed to escape. So it finds a way through a crack in the tiles. And it keeps leaking and leaking. And then there is a funny smell. And you notice but don’t address it. And before you know it you have a damp issue and a big problem to fix. It’s important to notice.

So all I would encourage you to do as a first step is to notice how you feel.

Notice what might cause you stress and then you can work on a plan to reduce the stress in your life. I will be writing a couple of blogs around relaxation which will really help you reduce stress.

 

Take an easy step to reducing stress and relaxing by joining my free 21 Day Wellbeing Challenge

It is called a challenge but it’s easy! I promise you will feel less stressed at the end. Sign up now!

 

 

 

Book review: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers

Book review: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers

I’m so excited to do this book review of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers because it is one of my all time favourite books. One everyone should read! Especially people who are scared of change and embracing the new.

Who is Susan Jeffers ph.D?

Susan Jeffers (1938-2012) was an American best-selling author and sought-after public speaker. She appeared on many radio and television shows internationally. She saw herself as someone meant to do something in addition to raising a family. And boy did she, even thought at the time it was against society’s expectations.

When her children were young she attained a BA, Master’s Degree, and Doctorate in Psychology. She then became the Executive Director of The Floating Hospital, New York’s Ship of Health.

She survived a divorce, a mastectomy and a decade as a single working parent. She is a true example of someone who felt the fear but did it anyway.

She helped millions of people throughout the world overcome their fears, heal their relationships, and move forward in life with confidence and love.

Susan’s reading list

You only have to look at her recommended reading list to get a feeling for her and what she was all about. Here are some of the books from that list:

 

The book

Susan explains how fear seems to be everywhere in our lives. We ‘fear beginnings and we fear endings’! We also fear:

  • Change
  • Staying the same
  • Success
  • Failure
  • Living
  • Dying

 

I see fear of these on a regular basis in my Hypnotherapy practice. People who want help getting through a job interview, exam or driving test have fear.

People who are ready to change their lives but are scared. People who have had enough are scared of what their lives have become and will continue to be.

Scared of not being about to lose the weight…scared of what they will do instead of smoking….. and anxiety is full of fear of course.

Teenagers who are scared of bullies or being themselves. I would say people are even scared to fully relax sometimes. And there is definitely fear around what others think.

But when you remove fear. You get better things in its place. You get power, energy and excitement.

Fear is an energy

skydive

Fear can be a useful response because it warns us of perceived danger and gives us a ‘boost’ to avoid getting hurt. Very useful for cavemen who had to avoid wild animals and also useful for that run you do to get out of the way of a car. But not always useful for some of life.

Level one fears are those on the surface

Susan lists fears are those that just happen like getting old, being alone or not having enough money.

And then fears that need action like changing career, losing weight or stating or ending relationships.

I would just like to make the point that fears do not need to be ‘big’ to feel big. The fear someone feels is not related to society’s perceived view of whether that is a justified fear. Fears that cause extreme fear are called phobias.

Level two fears are held within you. Susan gives examples of those as:

  • Being rejected
  • Succeeding
  • Failing
  • Being at risk
  • Being tricked
  • Being helpless
  • Being disapproved of
  • Losing yourself

 

These kind of fears are around your sense of sense and often difficult to understand on your own. They seep into all areas of your life and cause problems. This is what the self-help industry is built on. An of course, as a therapist, I help many clients with this sort of thing.

 

Susan then details level three fears under the title of ‘I can’t handle it!’

These fears are ‘major’ and will probably hold you back. They include feeling like you can’t handle:

  • Illness
  • Mistakes
  • Being alone
  • Your job
  • Losing money

Do you have any level three fears and what impact are they having on your life? I can help you.

The good news is that Susan’s work aims to impart the knowledge and feelings which she poses as this question:

Question – If you knew you could handle anything that came your way, what would you possible have to fear?

Answer – NOTHING!

By lessening or removing your fear you gain more trust in the knowledge that you can handle anything that comes you way 🙂 Sounds great doesn’t it? As you continue to read the book (or listen to it as I did on a very long car journey!) you will feel this amazing sense that you can handle whatever comes your way. It is so empowering.

 

We believe what we tell ourselves

spaceman

 

Our brains don’t know the difference between fact and fiction. So if you tell yourself good things, you will feel good. It is such a simple concept and one to teach your children for sure.

As Susan says in the book. We tell our children to be ‘careful’. This is giving messages that the world is full of danger. We say this because we don’t want them to hurt themselves and we will hurt too if anything happens to them. We are projecting our own fear onto them.

Can you imagine if Richard Branson had been fearful. Things would be very different.

If everyone had been to scared to go into space?  

Or Columbus had been scared of sailing?

You can push through fear

There are many strategies for pushing through fear. Susan’s approach is to push through one fear, into the next! She sees the growth that this gives. I was looking at Amy Porterfield’s webpage recently and saw she has 250,000 Facebook fans! She does webinars to help people with their websites and stuff and I thought, I bet she felt nervous on her first webinar! But she has pushed through the fear each time.

Another example of pushing through fear is when people hold spiders to get rid of their fear of spiders. This can have some bad consequences (I know because I have had clients in my Hypnotherapy practice that I have had to sort out because they have done this). But for many people, this works!

Overcoming fears makes you feel good!

It is natural to feel fear when you have to do something you haven’t done before. Whether that’s having a baby or a job interview!

One of the truest things I feel Susan says in her book is ‘pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the constant fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness’. How true this is!

Your mind is amazingly powerful, brilliant and creative and as much as it comes up with wonderful ideas that are helpful, it can also really go to down with feeling fearful, catastrophising and making you dread things that could be wonderful and exciting for you.

 

Fears I help people with in my West Sussex Hypnotherapy practice

fear

 

One of the best uses of Hypnotherapy is overcoming fear. Phobias are far more common than many people realise. It is estimated that more than 11% of the population have some kind of irrational fear. Here are some of the common fears I help people overcome:

  • Flying
  • Public speaking
  • Interviews
  • Driving tests
  • Exams
  • Claustrophobia
  • Sickness
  • Insects
  • Heights
  • Needles
  • Dentists
  • Water

 

Fear can stop you living the life you want to and doing things that you would enjoy or flourish at.

Get in touch and get rid of your fears and phobias today

 

Honey Lansdowne

I am ready and waiting to help you.

When I feel nervous about something I always think of that saying ‘it’s the things you didn’t do that you regret, not the things you did’.

So don’t regret not following me on Instagram or liking my Facebook page! See you there for inspiration and motivation 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What does Hypnosis feel like?

What does Hypnosis feel like?

A question I am asked a lot is what does Hypnosis feel like?  And I answer that it is different for everyone.

How Hypnosis might feel

I remember my first Hypnotic experience during an NLP course some years ago. I closed my eyes and was encouraged to connect with myself inside and I had a light trance. I thought wow, that’s interesting!

I trained as a Hypnotherapist pretty soon after that and as a result had a lot of Hypnosis. Which was great! I noticed that I went into deeper and better trances as I allowed myself to and saw the benefit of it. During the training we had to do 50 hours of practice and I noticed that everyone’s Hypnosis experience was different.

 

How people say Hypnosis feels

Hypnotic experiences can vary greatly from a light trance where someone relaxes for the first time in ages, to a very deep experience. It’s a different feeling to describe but I will use some of the things that my clients have told me to try and explain it to you.

Hypnosis is becoming more and more widely used. More people are recognising that’s it’s a safe way to improve their life. The most common uses of Hypnosis are to help with anxiety, phobias and weight loss. I’ve been using it to treat depression for a number of years.

Something important for people who feel depressed or anxious is to feel something different. And Hypnosis certainly achieves that. When you have felt something different to how you may have felt for a long time, it feels great!

 

Feelings of Hypnosis

Hypnosis is not sleep. Even though the word ‘sleep’ is commonly used, you are not asleep. You are in a trance but your subconscious mind is actually very alert.

You will feel relaxation in your body and your mind. But relaxation is not the goal of Hypnosis; change is.

You already go into Hypnosis yourself many times a day. You know when you arrive somewhere in the car and think, how did I get here? During running you can go into a trance, when listening to music, watching TV (you know that because you can talk to your kids while they are watching TV and they don’t hear you!).These all examples of trance.

 

Other feelings of Hypnosis are:

  • Being ‘in the zone’ is a form of Hypnosis.
  • Daydreaming is Hypnosis.
  • The feeling before you go to sleep and you have thoughts and ideas that you might not be able to put into words is Hypnosis.
  • Being intently focused is Hypnosis. Especially if your eyes go a bit ‘foggy’ or glazed.
  • Hypnosis is your natural ‘reboot’ and a good healthy thing to have and do.
  • Whilst in Hypnosis, you will hear what’s going on around you but it won’t bother or disturb you in anyway. You are focussed on your own ‘inside’, not what’s going on ‘outside’.
  • It feels nice!
  • It feels natural.
  • You are in control. You won’t say or do anything that you don’t want to.
  • Some people see colours.
  • Some people have wonderful memories.
  • Some people feel connect with their ‘higher self’ or ‘inner self’.

 

After Hypnosis

 

As much as I love Hypnosis, I think the best bit is afterwards. You will feel lighter and brighter. You will have let go of things that were troubling you and be ready for better things. Some people clear up or accept issues and pain that have been around for years. You may be able to forgive others and yourself and let go of guilt or shame.

You might still feel relaxed afterwards, not to the point where you can’t function because your Hypnotist will have brought you back to full consciousness. But you might have let some issues or emotional baggage go and that can mean to feel a bit tired.

Or you might feel super energised and ready for action! After a recent deep Hypnosis session I spent a week decluttering and organising. So not only did I feel great internally but had loads of focus and drive to get things done. Hoorah!

 

So you want to know more or book an appointment?

If you want to chat about Hypnosis or you are ready to make an appointment, please do get in touch. Best way is on my mobile 07530 890089

 

 

 

Hypnotherapy is the easy way to stop smoking

Hypnotherapy is the easy way to stop smoking

People who have stopped with me know that Hypnotherapy is the easy way to stop smoking. There is a special offer for you at the bottom of this blog.  Please pass it on or share this blog to help other people stop smoking and take advantage of this special offer.

 

Is it time for you to give up smoking?

Giving up smoking is one of the best things you can do to dramatically improve your health and life expectancy. On average, non-smokers live around a decade longer than smokers.

As well as improving your own health and wellbeing, you’ll also give your family peace of mind in the knowledge you’re doing everything you can to be with them for as long as possible.

The benefits of giving up smoking are endless, from better breathing to saving on average £2,920 per year. You can work out your cost savings here.

If you’ve ever suffered a heart attack, quitting smoking can reduce your chances of having another one by up to 50%.

 

E-Cigarettes Aren’t Always the Answer

stop vaping

 

Vapour devices aren’t always the best solution as the nicotine and the smoking habit still exists. It’s not until you eliminate the habit that you become a non-smoker.

How is Hypnotherapy Effective for Giving up Smoking?

 

There are dozens of methods to stop smoking, including patches, gum or prescribed drugs. The effectiveness of these methods is varied, but many people struggle as they don’t help you at an unconscious level.

Hypnotherapy works with the greater part of your mind, the subconscious mind, which is responsible for behaviour.  By working with the subconscious, your desire to smoke is removed and the determination to stay a non-smoker is enhanced.

 

I use Harley Street techniques

 

It costs £1000 to give up smoking with a Hypnotherapist in Harley Street. I’m offering the same treatment here in West Sussex for far less. And you don’t have to get on the Tube!

It’s taken me a few years to perfect my stop smoking treatment. Even though Hypnotherapy alone is enough, I want to cover all bases and make sure my client stops for good and is confident that this has happened.

I now blend Hypnotherapy, NLP and tapping to deliver a stop smoking session which address any emotional reasons for smoking, the habit itself and the belief that you are now a non smoker.

I build in strategies for not putting on weight, feeling like you are missing out and seeking comfort in smoking. These are issues I have found that people are concerned about when giving up.

You will be able to cope with situations where you may have previously wanted to smoke.

You will fully understand the reasons why you personally have given up smoking and buy into them at a deep unconscious level.

What is the Process with Stop Smoking Hypnotherapy? 

 

The stop smoking treatment is a one session treatment, where we’ll discuss your own reasons for giving up and wanting a healthier life. You walk in a smoker and out a non-smoker. Job done.

You will also be given recordings to use at home, ensuring you retain the state of mind which tells you that you don’t need to smoke.

 

Special offer for my blog readers

If you mention this blog when you call to book your stop smoking session I will give you £50 off the full price of my treatment so you stop smoking forever. Contact me now and book in.

 

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