How to feel less anxious in times of uncertainty

How to feel less anxious in times of uncertainty

How to feel less anxious in times of uncertainty

If you suffer from anxiety or depression, you might find yourself worrying more during times of uncertainty like the UK election results today. I had an influx of anxious and depression clients in my Hypnotherapy clients following Brexit, but we were able to calm emotions down with the techniques that I teach people.

The thing with uncertainty is that it makes people feel out of control. And when you feel out of control this can cause fear and from fear comes anxiety along with other symptoms like IBS, stress and sleep issues.

And there are plenty of things in life to give us those feelings of uncertainty. Like job losses, recession, separation, relationship breakdowns, financial trouble and ill health to mention but a few.

Scientists have proved that there are two types of uncertainty. The one we can prepare for and the one we are just stuck with. And they feel very different with the uncertainty we can’t do anything about being more stressful than the one we can.

Unpredictability is a great stressor. Studies in the 1960s and 1970s showed that rats and humans suffer more when given an unexpected small electrical shock than those who can predict when a zap is coming. And in a 2006 study, people rated the pain as more unpleasant than when they knew what to expect when they were zapped with unpredictable electric shocks to their hands.

If I had a pound for every time these words are used in my therapy room I would have a very heavy piggy bank:

  • Control
  • Worried
  • Scared
  • Anxious
  • Trapped
  • Exhausted

So how can you feel different?

change your thoughts

Now, we are emotional creatures and this is a gift. Without the full range of emotions we couldn’t experience joy and pleasure and we all want some of that don’t we? But it becomes a problem when the negative emotions don’t seem to give you a break and stop you living a ‘normal’ life. Let’s not forget that many people will be feeling pleased about the election result.

It might not feel like it, but anxiety actually exists to keep you safe. It goes right back to caveman days where if a predator animal came along, caveman would get anxious and prepare to fight or run. So a bit of andrealin which is released into the body is useful for both of those things. The trouble is that the brain can get confused about ‘danger’ and generate this fight or flight reaction unnecessarily which can be stressful and exhausting.

So maybe you would like to try some of these things to feel less anxious during uncertain times:

  1. Try some diaphramic breathing to get in a relaxed state. Relaxation is the hub of feeling in control
  2. Watch my video here for changing how you feel about something that currently bothers you
  3. Think about a situation of uncertaintity from 5 years ago. What happened? Was everything ok? What did you learn from that?
  4. Focus on the things that give you joy. When I work with clients we really dig into this so that their joy list is clear and they visit it often. The more you focus on the things that bring you joy, the less time and energy you will give to thinking about things that don’t bring you joy
  5. Get the right sort of help. If you have had years of counselling, it might be time to try something different. After my 4 session programme, your life will feel very different

‘The only certainty is uncertainty’ – John Allen Paulos

By learning to be calm and in control of your own emotions during tough times, you will be more resilient. And this means that you will find uncertainty less traumatic and problematic as you navigate through life. Thankfully, we don’t have an election very often 🙂

I would love to hear from you by phone on 07530 890089 or email or on Facebook

Sending you resilent thoughts

Honey

x

 

 

 

Does your fear of flying make holidays a nightmare?

Does your fear of flying make holidays a nightmare?

Does your fear of flying make holidays a nightmare?

Are you a nervous flyer? Is it the fear of being out of control or the fear of crashing that bothers you? You are not alone; it is estimated that 1 in 6 people have a fear of flying. And the extent of the fear can range vary greatly:

  • Worrying about an upcoming flight
  • Feeling nervous and shaky at the airport
  • Crying, shallow breathing and intense fear on the flight
  • Panic attacks in the lead up to or on the flight
  • Fear so great it stops you flying at all

Sometimes the fear can have been in place for a long time or even a lifetime which makes it hard for you to believe that you can get rid of it. But you absolutely can! Hypnotherapy is well known for helping people overcome fears and phobias and it is very effective as a treatment to remove fear of flying.

The treatment I offer is a mix of Hypnotherapy, Psy-Tap and NLP for very powerful and permanent results. And happy holidays! Often the fear can be removed in one session, two at the most.

Often flying is not the fear

The unconcious mind will always act in what it believes to be in your best interest to keep you safe. It can link unrelated events to fears and phobias and your concious mind doesn’t know or recognise this,  but you know you are scared even if you don’t understand why. Removing fear of flying or other fears often has more benefits than just being able to fly without fear. You will feel lighter, happier and more free than you have in a long time, because you have offloaded and gained confidence that you can overcome issues.

What adventure would you love to experience if you no longer had a fear of flying?

Taj Mahal

Is there somewhere you’ve always wanted to go on holiday?  See the Grand Canyon, the Great Barrier Reef or the Taj Mahal? Or relax in Thailand or see the big five in Africa?

 

 

Or maybe you want the dream honeymoon without the nightmare flight?  Or maybe you’ve been invited to a wedding or celebration abroad and would love to go? Or maybe you’ve got your eye on a job which has international travel and your fear of flying has stopped you going for it?

 

family reunionOr maybe you have family abroad and you would love to visit them, see where they live and spend time hanging out with them and their friends and family. In 2017 distance shouldn’t be a problem to nurturing those valuable relationships and neither should a fear of flying.

 

 

 

I can help you overcome your fear of flying very easily

I use Hypnotherapy, Psy-Tap and NLP to help you rapidly and effectively overcome your flying phobia, no matter how extreme. You will be booking your adventure soon after your session/s.

Although every client is unique, fears and phobias stand together as FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real. The brain doesn’t know the difference between fiction and truth so whether it’s a fear of flying, spiders, heights, public speaking, confined spaces or whatever, the theory of the treatment is the same.

To book your appointment and start your life of adventure please get in touch by email 

I can see you in my Hypnotherapy practice in West Sussex which covers the areas of Worthing, Lancing, Shoreham, Brighton, Ferring, Findon and Angmering or Worldwide on Skype in the comfort of your own home.

If you know someone that you would love to come on holiday with you but they won’t because they are scared of flying please share this blog with them.

The life changing secrets of Hypnotherapy

The life changing secrets of Hypnotherapy

The life changing secrets of Hypnotherapy

It’s big thing to say change you can change peoples lives. Surgeons can say it, the people at lottery HQ can say it and maybe Apple can say it! But why can a Hypnotherapist say it?!

It’s unlikely that everyone makes it through life without encountering some sort of issue. Issues like:

Stress which can be work related, relationship related or simply life related and untreated stress can lead to depression

 

Anxiety which can manifest in many ways including post traumatic stress disorder, social phobia and panic attacks
 
Grief related to someone passing away or the loss of something important to you

 

Poor sleep which can really disrupt everything in your life

 

Depression which can affect anyone and create a cloud in your life. There is a useful factsheet here about depression

 

Uncertainty about life direction which can really make you feel lost

 

Emotional pain which can lurk for years but refuse to go away until it’s dealt with

 

Phobias which are sometimes irrational but life affecting

 

Weight gain which affects your confidence or self esteem 

 

Overcoming issues

 

So how do people overcome these issues? The most popular adage is that time is a great healer. I would argue here that in many cases the unconcious mind buries the issue and it often appears later in an unwanted behaviour or emotion.

If time healed everything I wouldn’t see so many clients that were affected by issues and traumas that occured years ago or even  in childhood. This pain is often disguised by the person telling themselves that they dealt with everything and their depression, anxiety or weight gain have happened because of another reason.

You could ride the issue out of course. This can take 1, 10,20,30 years! You can find all sorts of workarounds to avoid exposing the issue and live a life with exceptions because of the issue. You won’t know how long the issue will last and the longer you carry it, the more ingrained it becomes as a habit which might make you feel frustrated and upset. But it might go. One day.

You could go for counceling, CBT or other therapies and these work for many people but often the number of sessions is high which can be a big time and cost investment. I have a blog post about the difference between Counselling and Hypnotherapy here.

Sometimes people find that these kind of therapies don’t help and my view on this is that this may be down to when we talk about our issues, we relive them.  This gives the brain another experience of the issue to use as evidence that we have an issue. (Stick with me here). You also get another experience to remind you how the issue make you feel rather than the opportunity to experience a different feeling about the issue, which is how Hypnotherapy works. The brain carries a negative bias (meaning it finds it easier to think negatively than positively) so if you remind it of a negative experience or feeling it will focus on that. If you give your brain positive feelings and thoughts it will be pulled in that direction instead.

Interupted sleep

You could ignore the issue. An issue will pop up in the most unexpected of ways until you deal with it. The good news is that when an issue won’t go away until you resolve it, it will keep reminding you until you do. Notice these signs if you can so that anxiety doesn’t turn to depression or that food doesn’t become your solace etc.

So how does Hypnotherapy change lives?

 

When I started offering Hypnotherapy I underestimated it. People would come, I would make them feel better and they would be happy, get rid of their phobia, feel less depressed, overcome their anxiety, give up smoking whatever. But over the years as I have developed my Hypnotherapy skills, introduced Harley Street techniques and continued to use NLP at Master level I have seen many lives ‘change’.

Becoming a non-smoker

Take a smoker. Many smokers have tried to give up smoking a fair few times and feel frustrated and desperate to kick the habit but just can’t do it by themselves. They do some research and the idea of Hypnotherapy comes to them. They have their treatment and stop smoking easily. They are healthier, wealthier and free of the habit. It’s the easiest way to give up.

Losing weight

For some people losing weight changes their lives. They find that once they lose weight they have more energy and maybe start exercising. Maybe they find the confidence to do new things, go to new places, get a partner or a new job. Losing weight with Hypnotherapy can change people’s lives in many ways. And when I help you lose weight with Hypnotherapy, I build in healthy eating habits, portion control and confidence. And if necessary we fully explore the reasons for your weight gain or overeating and make that a thing of the past.

Being free of depression

freedom from depression

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you suffer from depression you may feel like you are living under a dark cloud; like you can’t get motivated to do anything or really enjoy your life. Can you imagine how your life would change if you didn’t feel depressed? What would be different for you? Maybe your social life would be different or you would achieve more of the things that you really want to do. Or maybe your relationships would be better or you would just be much happier. Living without depression is definitely life changing.

Overcoming anxiety

Anxiety sufferers can be the most enthusiastic about their life changes! What’s not to like about a life without panic attacks, sweats, shortness of breath or routines you have to run because you feel controlled by your anxiety. I use a blend of techniques to help my anxiety clients and sometimes it can take as little as one session to remove anxiety they have carried for years (although I don’t guarantee one session because there should not be that expectation and every case in individual). I also provide all my anxiety clients with a maintenance plan so they have the confidence to know that they are in total control, whatever comes their way.

Live longer by dealing with stress

Now I don’t want to use scare tactics here but they do actually say that stress is the ‘silent killer. It is unbelievable how many people are living with stress to different degrees. You don’t need to be a stressful job or a turbulent relationship to suffer from stress (although these probably aren’t helpful to anyone). The definition of stress is how you cope in any given situation. So you could be stressed by normal life, family, work or even boredom. Hypnotherapy is deeply relaxing. It takes you to a calm place you may not have connected with before and just like going to the gym to exercise your body muscles, the more you exercise your mind ‘calm’ muscle, the stronger it gets. This means that you find it easier to remain calm and harder to be stressed. Hypnotherapy treatment for stress is more than just feeling relaxed, I help my clients look at their stress triggers and alternative ways to cope with those triggers. When you have less stress in your life this can be life changing if you sleep better, lower your blood pressure, have less anger and better relationships. You can also think more clearly and you are likely to be more creative as creativity is located in the unconscious mind which is present where you are relaxed.

So Hypnotherapists really do change lives. It’s a very rewarding job and every client’s success means that I never tire of this work and training and developing further.

How can I help you change your life?

  • Your starting point might be to try my free relaxing download by signing up to my newsletter
  • You might be fed up of living with your issue and want to take action NOW. So send me an email and I will give you a call to have a chat and make an appointment

I can wait to see what your new life looks like 🙂

Sending you magical vibes.

Honey

x

If you want to feel more love in your life; try this

If you want to feel more love in your life; try this

Love is probably the strongest emotion we will ever experience and so you will no doubt want to feel more love in your life. Love can give us joy, strength and hope. When we feel love it flows through every cell in our body and releases oxytocin. Oxytocin reduces stress and anxiety and can act as an anti-depressant.

Here are some ways you can release Oxytocin (apart from falling in love, sex and childbirth!):

  • Hugging someone or imagining to hug someone
  • Do a random act of kindness
  • Move your body
  • Laugh
  • Practice relaxed breathing

 

Feel more love with your senses

Love feelings come in more forms that you may immediately think of. We are multi-sensory creatures and we can light up our pleasure centre in many ways. Anything that touches our senses can give us pleasure. So how about looking for opportunities to feel more love more often and fill your life with as much love as possible.  Here are some ideas, how about:

Sound

What do you love to hear or listen to? What music caresses your ears? What makes you sing your heart out or makes the hairs on your body stand on end? And what about the sounds that you haven’t yet explored? Or maybe you love the tempestuous sound of the waves crashing on a stormy day…..

Sight

You know the saying ‘A feast for the eyes’? Well, what feeds your eyes? Is it bright colour that makes you feel full of energy? Are you surrounded with things that you that you love to look at? It is said that even having photos on your desk at work will raise your happiness levels. Do you seek out beautiful places and take the time to absorb their beauty? Or maybe you like to look at photos and notice something new every time you look at them. Or maybe you like to see the warmth of people’s smile or the chink of light in their eyes as they laugh an that make you feel more love…………

 

Taste

Food is the language of love for many. With ten thousand taste buds in your mouth, that’s a great way to feel more love! Do you take time to savour delicious things? Do you get excited about trying new restaurants or even supermarkets! Maybe you browse the aisles and imagine how new things might taste. We are so fortunate to have such a variety of choice at our fingertips. Every day can be a new food adventure and a chance to nourish our body in a new exciting way………….

 

Smell

Chanel no 5

Do you have a favourite smell? Is it a natural smell or maybe something unusual? It is said that the most popular smell is the smell of freshly baked bread. Others include cut grass, aftershave, clean laundry and coffee.  Smells can light up our other senses and evoke childhood memories. Maybe you like to luxuriate in your signature scent from time to time…….

 

Touch

What do you love the feel of? Do you have certain textures that you love? Maybe you love the feel of smooth carved wood or velvety cushions? Do the clothes you wear feel nice next to your skin and you love wearing them. Do your home furnishings make you feel cosy and comfortable. And how do you enjoy moving your body? Maybe you dance or act and love losing yourself in the movement of music or the character of a part……

 

Love yourself and love your life

Then of course there is just so much to love about life! I would love you hear about what you love in the comments.

 

And if you are not loving your life, please do sign up for my newsletter because I can absolutely help you. If you feel like you are not loving your life it can be difficult to see how you will be any different. But with a bit of support, some techniques to manage your mindset and a new found understanding of yourself you can love yourself and your life more than ever before.

If you would like a free 20 minute consultation, please get in touch at hello@honeylansdowne.co.uk

3 Simple Steps to Creating New Habits – guest post from Sarah Arrow

3 Simple Steps to Creating New Habits – guest post from Sarah Arrow

3 Simple Steps to Creating New Habits

You walk into your home and you kick off your shoes in the hallway. You’ve done this ever since you could toddle. You don’t want dirty shoes on the carpet, so you leave them in the hall. That’s a great habit to have. If only you could remember to hang your coat on the hook instead over the bannister… how come you have a great habit and the one that’s not so hot, you just can’t correct?

We all have times in our lives where we intentionally want to change our behaviour for the better. This means creating new habits for ourselves. This could be the so-called simple things like getting in the habit of eating healthier, or drinking more water. It could be moving more, eating less and taking the dog for a daily walk before she whines and looks longingly at her lead.

Maybe it’s work related, or spiritual, or… There are so many areas in our lives that you may be wishing to improve and feel that life would be easier if we just did these things.

Getting into the habit of doing something is often easier said than done. We seem to attract bad habits without any effort, but getting into a “good” habit can be a little more challenging.

Let’s break it down into a three step process that makes it easy to follow until we’ve internalized the new behaviour and made it a true habit – something we do automatically without having to think about, like brushing our teeth.

1 – Decide What You Want To Do

The first step is to decide what you want that new habit to be. Be as specific as possible. Don’t just tell yourself you want to exercise more if that worked you wouldn’t ne reading this right now. Instead say something like “I will go for a 30 minute walk every single day”. If you struggle with this, try an Affirmation (by Noah St John, book of the same name) and say “Why do I find going for a walk every day so enjoyable?” or “Why do I look forward to my 30 minute walk every day?”

Deciding what your new habit will be and then commit to it. Not a wishy-washy commitment, but a full on teenage crush style commitment. You know the kind that has people rolling their eyes, but you are all into it. That’s the level of commitment you want for your new habit.

2 – Remind Yourself To Get It Done

The next few days should be smooth sailing. You’re motivated and excited to get this done. Sticking to your new habit isn’t an issue. But a few days in you’ll notice that it’s easy to slip back into old routines.

Maybe it’s raining and you don’t really want to go out and walk. Or maybe your day just gets away from you (who hasn’t had one of those?). This is when it’s important to have a daily reminder. Set an alert on your phone or add the new habit to your daily to-do list for a while.

 

3 – Make It Part Of Your Routine Until It Becomes A Habit

Which brings us to the last step. It takes some time before a new behaviour becomes a true habit. There’s only one way to make change happen overnight, and that’s a Hypnotherapy session with Honey. Until then, a routine will work to your advantage. Even before the new behaviour becomes automatic, a routine will help you get it done without having to spend a lot of willpower or relying on daily reminders.

Which leads me nicely into… Sometimes a bad, or no longer useful habit is so deeply embedded that you need some help to clear it out. There’s nothing like a bit of Hypnotherapy to help you get a new habit firmly in place, and kick and old one to touch. If you find yourself habitually breaking new habits get Honey’s help.

Sarah Arrow helps bloggers get the blogging habit.

Nothing changes if nothing changes

Nothing changes if nothing changes

Nothing changes if nothing changes might sound obvious, but it really is as simple as that.

Let’s look at the most common things that people want to change:

The way you feel

It amazes me how people get trapped in a spiral of negative thinking of sadness and miss out on so much in their life because they simple don’t know that things can be different. The first thing to note here is that your brain has a negative bias. This means for most people they need to put effort into feeling positive and happy. But the benefits are worth it because you get a nice dose of Dopamine which controls your brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Dopamine  also regulates emotional responses and motivates us to take action towards things that make us feel rewarded. What this means is once you’ve felt good, you will want to do it more and more.

If you have Hypnotherapy for depression (which affects 1 in 3 people at any one time and most people at some point in their lives) you will feel a numbers of benefits:

  • Release issues from the past
  • Feel more energised
  • Break the pattern of negative thinking
  • Obtain techniques for nipping negative feelings in the bud and seeking out more pleasurable feelings
  • Break the cycle

 

The way you look

This can be as simple as wanting a new colour hair or a different hairstyle to something like wanting cosmetic surgery. If you really hate something about the way you look then sometimes it’s not the way you look at all but your thoughts. I’ve actually had quite a few clients in my Hypnotherapy practice who don’t like the way they look and we’ve done what I call ‘work of the self’ to increase self-confidence and self-esteem. After this change work, the way they look is less of an issue. The trouble seems to be that the easiest way to judge someone is how they look and society supports this and people can wind up feeling inferior for absolutely no reason.

The biggest issue for people not liking the way they look seems to be if they feel they are overweight. But losing weight is hard for many and they need support. Hypnotherapy for weight loss really is the easiest way because it doesn’t mean another ‘diet’.  Hypnotherapy for weight loss means you make healthier choices automatically and reasons you might comfort eat for emotional reasons are addressed. you also have the added benefit of motivation and increased confidence being built in.

 

There are things you want to move away from….

Addictions such as smoking

It’s quite unusual to meet a smoker who likes smoking and how it makes them feel and who wouldn’t give up if they felt it would be easy. Giving up smoking with Hypnotherapy is much easier than going it alone. In the stop smoking technique that I use I combine three techniques so it is very effective.

Anxiety

If you suffer from anxiety it can rule your life. Anxiety can vary from being nervous about driving, leaving the house, going to be particular places or being in certain situations. Anxiety can be triggered by not much more than a thought or smell. The most common cause of anxiety is stress. Stress can lead to anxiety symptoms, and anxiety can make stress worse. This can be a bit of a shock to someone who has never suffered from either before and finds themselves suffering from headache, dry mouth, dizziness, and sweating. These symptoms can come on at any time even when most unexpected and even result in panic attacks. People offer suffer in silence but could benefit quickly and easily from the right treatment.

And there are things you want to move towards…..

Do you say or think you want change but not do anything about it? Do you see others around you making changes and feel envious but if you looked at it objectively you could see that they changed because they put the effort, energy and financial investment in to make that change happen? for example if you live in a flat and this makes you unhappy because you would rather have a house are you prepared to get a new job or change your lifestyle to take on the extra responsibility and make that happen?

A better lifestyle

If you really want more money you might need to get a new job or relocate or retrain to find a new job. This means you will need to invest in yourself. Sometimes people are held back by fear and benefit from a confidence boost Hypnotherapy session to help them make changes, take exams or brave an interview.

Dreams

ballroom dancing

Fear and lack of clear direction and goal setting hold a lot of people back from reaching their true potential. What’s amazing about the unconcious mind is that it knows what you really want (even you don’t!). Some of the things that become apparent during Hypnotherapy and coaching can be life changing for people. They realise they are not living the life they really want to or not doing the hobby they would really love. Bring on the ballroom dancing!

Happiness

Happiness is so different for every single person. Some people need to be around people and others needs to be around books! some people will have materialistic aspirations other don’t care about that. Some people will get joy from their dog and others from making up a new recipe. The point is… a lot of people don’t understand themselves well enough to know what makes them intrinsically happy. ‘Work of the self’, that is exploring inner feelings and drivers, knowing your values and identity is the key to the door to your happiness.

 

Make that change now

make that change now

Quite often I will have a free 20 minute consultation with a client and they will go away and think about it. In that time they might try to sort the ‘thing’ out themselves. I hope that for some people this brings a happy ending, I really do. But on many occasions that same person will come back some time later for the thing we spoke about and they will book in. What they always say when we finish working together is that they wish they had come sooner! So if you want change, do it now and reap the benefits ASAP 🙂

 

This blog is one in a series about self-development and ways to help you manage your mental health. I’m providing techniques and advice a  Hypnotherapist and coach working locally in West Sussex and Worldwide on Skype.

Your ‘what I want to change’ list.

For today’s list please make a list of things in your life that you would want to change and pick the most important. Then get in touch for your free 20 minute consultation by calling 07530 890089 or at hello@honeylansdowne.co.uk

Honey (Sussex based Hypnotherapist that helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression).

x

Pin It on Pinterest