The secret of why you feel emotions that you don’t understand

The secret of why you feel emotions that you don’t understand

In this post I am going to explain the secret of why you feel emotions that you don’t understand. And I want you to share this information with as many people as possible because it really could save a lot of heartache.

 

We all have two minds…

 

Did you know that your mind has two parts? The conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind could be called the more rational. It makes decisions based on logic and chooses our behaviour. Most of the time in day to day life we operate in a conscious state. The conscious part of our brain is  the smaller less powerful part (although still very powerful!). The conscious part lets us work, study, operate on a daily basis.

The dominant part of the mind is the subconscious. We access the subconscious naturally when we ‘daydream’ or drift off to sleep. The subconscious is powerful when we dream. It tries to make sense of all the information it has absorbed or is processing.

The subconscious is like a blank canvas when we are born. We take in around 2 million pieces of information a day, which is far too much for the conscious mind to process. So the subconscious stores in using sight, smell, taste, sound and feelings. It codes our life experiences in this way which is why both good and bad experiences can have smells or noises attached to them. All this goes on automatically so we don’t really have much control about our built in ‘coding’.

So the phrase ‘in two minds’ is literally that. When we are making a decision we might use the conscious mind to think about it logically, but the subconscious mind will be the more feeling part. Kind of like head and heart centred thinking.  

 

How you can harness the power of your subconscious mind….

 

Your subconscious is there to protect you and always acts in the way it thinks is best for you. This can become a problem if its ‘coding’ is not helpful. For example, it has learnt that when you are scared or worried you should have a panic attack, or when you are sad you should eat for comfort.  People get confused about why they are behaving in a way that is not helpful or they can’t control. This is because the subconscious is the more powerful force and is leading behaviour and emotion.

You can use will power to try and beat an issue, but will power comes from the conscious mind so may only be temporary. Long lasting change needs to be made in the subconscious.

To access the subconscious mind and make changes you need to relax the conscious mind. You can do this with Hypnotherapy (trance hypnosis) or NLP (waking hypnosis). Once the conscious mind is relaxed, the subconscious is present and changes can be made. Sort of like recoding (in a safe and pleasant way).

You will experience wonderful relaxing feelings and connect to the subconscious part of your mind. The part that seems to be on a whole different level and you experience different thoughts that sometimes you can’t even put into words.

 

The reason you have emotions that you don’t understand

 

Because your subconscious is accessed by bypassing your conscious mind, when you rationally try and understand why you feel how you feel, the true reason may not be apparent because it is buried in the subconscious.

This is often the case for people who have experienced trauma that bury that stuff so deep inside, they never really think about it.

Sometime the case with grief too.

Because no one really likes pain do they. (Well maybe those lot on Ninja Warrior but not the rest of us!). So the good old subconscious (remember always aiming to look after you) buries that deep down inside. But as the saying goes, the truth will always out and oops there it is….  

 

How the problem presents itself….

 

Now I have a fair few years as a therapist under my belt but I never assume because the subconscious is super clever and even my client may not understand the processing that takes place. 

But what I can tell you is that behind most issues that we face there is an emotion and emotions are held where? In the subconscious!

Here are some the things that I see clients for where there are obvious and less obvious emotional connections:

Depression – often linked to emotions in the past that can be cleared up

Weight loss – often  linked to emotions about self esteem

Anxiety – often linked to an emotion that is buried deep

Smoking – surprisingly often linked to the emotion that drives the habit rather than the nicotine addiction

Confidence – often linked to an emotion that is buried deep

Sleep – often linked to an emotions 

Stress – often linked to the emotions of overwhelm and being out of control 

 

So what can you do to feel better?

 

Many people get advice from their doctor first and some end up on medication or anti depressants. some seek counselling or Pychotherapy.

It isn’t as simple as saying to the subconscious ‘change this’. The subconscious is like a child. It needs to believe what is being said, it needs to feel its the right thing to do. It needs to buy into it and the conscious mind has to also want the change (that is usually the case where someone has got to the point they seek help unless there is a secondary gain).

A good Hypnotherapist or NLP Master Practitioner will work with you to make the changes to the emotions that drive the behaviours that made you seek help.

I call it ‘soothing and smoothing’. Sooth the pain and smooth the trigger and issue, Job done. Feel better 🙂

I am even able to work content free by working directly with the subconscious without talking about the issue specifically. I don’t need to know the issue/trauma necessarily but the subconscious does.

Children operate in the subconscious a lot! They have wonderful imagination and intuition. They respond to stories which appeal to the subconscious and significant changes can be made to their lives, meaning happier childhoods and lasting change through to adulthood.

The subconscious is also like a sponge for storing positivity as well as negativity. So accessing your subconscious and pumping it full of lovely positivity is really cool.  This is what successful people do regularly! Just ask Tony Robbins 🙂

 

Get in touch so I can help you or your child.

 

I use Hypnotherapy, NLP, Reiki and life coaching to help children over 5 and adults overcome problems and issues. I work face to face in Lancing, Worthing, Shoreham and Brighton and worldwide on Skype. I love talking to people and would happy to have a chat with you about how I could help you or your child.

 

These song lyrics reflect my work with clients I help with emotional healing

These song lyrics reflect my work with clients I help with emotional healing

In this post I am going to use songs to reflect the work I do with clients that I help with emotional healing. This is such a precious element of my work and one I am very committed to and passionate about. I want you to hear where I am coming from with my energy and intention. Though music.

There are some healers and coaches who don’t have any official qualifications and are still doing a good job!  They have natural intuition and are able to help others. And others have intuition and like to back it up with skills and qualifications. The point is when people need help with emotional healing, they need to feel they are in safe, caring hands. The relationship and trust is so very very important in this kind of work. I feel honoured when I work with people in this way.

 

I think these songs say it all.

REM – Everybody Hurts

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on)
(Hold on) if you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you’ve had too much
Of this life
Well, hang on
‘Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don’t throw your hand
Oh, no
Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone
No, no, no, you’re not aloneIf you’re on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you’ve had too much
Of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts

The Pretenders – I’ll Stand By You

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you lessI’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by youSo if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me nowHey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like youWhen you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
’cause even if you’re wrong
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You’re feeling all alone
You won’t be on your own
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you

Bob Marley – Three Little Birds

“Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”
Rise up this morning
Smiled with the rising sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Saying, “This is my message to you”
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (don’t worry)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Rise up this morning
Smiled with the rising sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Saying, “This is my message to you”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (worry about a thing, oh)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright (don’t worry)
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (I won’t worry)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright (I won’t worry)
Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”Singing: “Don’t worry about a thing (don’t worry about a thing)
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright

 

Nina Simone – Feeling Good

Birds flyin’ high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me.
Yeah, it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, ooooooooh…
And I’m feelin’ good.Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River runnin’ free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me,
And I’m feelin’ good Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don’t you know,
Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean.
Sleep in peace when day is done: that’s what I mean,
And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me…Stars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel..
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me
And I’m feelin’… good.

 

The message I want to get across is…

When you’re sure you’ve had enough

Sometimes everything is wrong

If you think you’ve had too much

If you feel like you’re alone

Hold on

Come on and come to me now

’cause I’ve seen the dark side too

I’ll stand by you

Don’t hold it all inside

You’re feeling all alone

You won’t be on your own

Don’t worry about a thing

Cause every little thing is gonna be alright

This is my message to you

Rise up this morning

Singing sweet songs

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me

And I’m feelin’ good

Sleep in peace when day is done

Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel..

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me

And I’m feelin’… good

 

More about the emotional healing another day but if you need to sort something out please contact me. Even if we just have a chat, it’s worth it.

Honey

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