Are you hiding your symptoms of anxiety?
People will go to great lengths to ‘hide’ their issues.
A lot of people are secret eating. Hiding food in their homes, desk at work and car. Eating it when there is no one around, knowing they don’t want to be doing that but they say they are unable to stop themselves.
Then there are people suffering from depression and ‘putting a brave face on it’. Laughing and joking in company of others, but thoroughly miserable deep down.
There are people so stressed they can’t sleep properly, can’t ‘switch off’ and have virtually no relaxation time. But they continue to take on more and more, pretending everything is ok and that keeping up high ‘expected’ standards of work, parenting, relationships, appearance and home, even though it is exhausting them.
But how might you hide symptoms of anxiety?
Despite anxiety making it very difficult for some people to do things that they need or want to do in their everyday life, they employ ‘strategies’ to get through life with anxiety. Some of these strategies might be:
- Accepting invites to social occasions and then coming up with an excuse at the time of the event so they don’t have to go
- Not accepting invitations to anything
- Wearing clothing to hide sweat, rashes and other physical symptoms
- Not putting themselves in situation where they are ‘visible’, such as presentations at work
- Not making close physical contact with people in case anyone notices their sweaty palms or body
- Not engaging in conversations in case they let it slip that they have anxiety
- Avoiding enclosed spaces
- Knowing where toilets are and planning around toilets
Not being your true self is tiring
But living in a way where you are hiding your true self is tiring. You may find it exhausting. It’s almost like an anxiety about the anxiety!
When you are always thinking ahead ‘just in case’ you are also missing out on living in the present moment. Something that increases relaxation, happiness and quality of life. Can you see how anxiety and hiding your symptoms of anxiety are both placed in the future and it uses your energy thinking about things that haven’t yet and might never happen? That uses energy you don’t need to use! Energy you could use to enjoy your life now.
It’s completely understandable why you might want to hide your anxiety symptoms, but there really is no shame in anxiety. It can happen to ANYONE at ANYTIME and it is completely treatable.
Luckily mental health is being talked about more and more and public figures like Prince Harry are really helping. Let’s keep talking about it and moving towards a society where it is easy to get help and talk about things.
It’s not as simple as just saying don’t be anxious….
Anxiety feels very real ,but it’s actually your brain creating it. As a Hypnotherapist who helps a lot of people overcome anxiety for good, I can assure you that you can overcome your anxiety in just 1 or 2 sessions with me.
This week I am posting daily videos on my Facebook page so come on over and watch the videos! And please like my Facebook page while you are there so you can be the first to know of all manner of things 🙂
On some of the days I will give you tips to manage your anxiety which could help you. Let me know how you get on!
Get in touch if you need help with anxiety
If you want 121 help, please do just in touch. I would love to explain how the blend of therapies that I use (Hypnotherapy, NLP Master level and PSY-Tap) remove anxiety forever and change our life. You DO NOT need to live with panic, worry, dread or fear anymore. Or hide it 🙂
Of course the added benefit of Hypnotherapy is that it is deeply relaxing and relaxation is the complete opposite of anxiety. Once you have relaxation in your life you will want it to stay there.
Sending you calm thoughts.
Can you guess how many people have social anxiety?
Many people with problems like depression, and anxiety worry that they are odd in some way or in the minority, but it is said that one in three people suffers from depression and one in four has anxiety at any time in life.
And social anxiety is said to affect up to 40% of the general public! Social anxiety is when social encounters or situations cause you distress and worry.
So what are the signs of social anxiety?
Do any of these situations feel familiar to you?
A friend’s party
You have been invited to a friend’s birthday party but you don’t really know many people there, you have said that you will go but in the weeks and days leading up to the event you worry about it and you feel anxious about it. On the day itself you can’t go through with it and end up cancelling which upsets your friend but you would rather that than go through with the party.
A work event
Or maybe you have a work event coming up and you will need to socialise with people from work. Which feels so much harder than actually working with the same people! You create disaster scenarios in your mind of all the ways that you might embarrass yourself or make a mistake and on the day itself, you go along because you HAVE to really. But you find yourself being very quiet and leaving as soon as politely possible. When you get back to home or work you feel relived but annoyed with yourself for not showing the people you work with the best of yourself, but you just couldn’t relax at the time.
And let’s not even talk about dating! That carries a whole host of issues around worrying what you look like, where you will meet them, what you will say and maybe you are worried about eating and drinking in front of people.
And possibly the biggest scariest thing you have to face which will make you have social anxiety is public speaking. Just the thought of it throws some people into a spin. And once the day you are doing it is announced you can spend weeks sweating, worrying and working yourself into a frenzy. You might be physically sick before the event or have a mouth so dry it feels like you can’t speak at all. Your hands might feel like leaves in the wind and you might have tightness in the chest and short shallow breathing. What a nightmare!
The common themes
Most things that induce social anxiety will involve concerns about being judged by others, making yourself look silly, being self-conscious and feeling a lack of confidence. People with social anxiety disorder may worry about these and other things for weeks before they happen. Sometimes, they end up staying away from places or events where they think they might have to do something that will embarrass them.
What causes social anxiety disorder?
Social anxiety disorder sometimes runs in families, but no one knows for sure why some family members have it while others don’t. Researchers have found that several parts of the brain are involved in fear and anxiety. By learning more about fear and anxiety in the brain from a qualified professional, you will better understand why the issue occurs and then you can do something about changing it. Sometimes stress and environmental factors may play a role.
So what can you do to help yourself if you suffer from social anxiety?
There are some practical ways that you can help yourself:
- Believe in yourself
- Master your breathing. Breath slowly and calmly
- Have in mind in advance 2 or 3 interesting things to talk about. Maybe current affairs or a recent movie or something from TV. This gives you a way to connect with people without talking about yourself to begin with
- Don’t set yourself unrealistic goals such as having to talk to lots of people. Even if you attend and just speak to one or two people that is a success
- Attend for a short time. This means to have fulfilled your obligation, built your confidence for next time and showed your face
- Try and speak to someone early on. The longer you leave it the more uncomfortable you might get
- Take the focus off you by taking an interest in other people. Many people like to talk about themselves so you can let them shine
- If you are at an organised event, It’s perfectly fine to say ‘I don’t know anyone here, could you introduce me to..?’
- Most hosts will want to help because they want their event to be a success
- You could get to know people before you attend something via social media so you are not ‘going in cold’
Professional, supportive and confidential help is available for anxiety in Worthing, Shoreham and across Sussex and Worldwide on Skype
You may benefit from some professional support like Hypnotherapy to remove anxiety and gain confidence. This is what I help people with, week in and week out. I help people feel less anxious about, well, almost anything. With the anxiety out of the way, we then work on the confidence and life is very different.
So once you’ve lost your social anxiety, what do you have to gain?
- You will have a bigger network. The benefits of face to face networking are famous in business. It’s one of the best ways to build trust, create relationships, get advice and find out ‘the word on the street’. It’s a superb way to build your personal brand and credibility
- You will go to more places and have more experiences
- You will be more comfortable around strangers and as a result find it easier to make new friends
- You might do better at work by building better relationships and spending time socially with your colleagues
- You can support other people who are struggling
- You might meet the love of your life
- You will be far more confident
‘No one puts baby in the corner’
If you don’t know this line, it’s from a film called Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze wants ‘baby’ (his girlfriend) to show off her dancing. Once you lose your social anxiety who knows what you will be ready to show off?
Please get in touch for a free consultation if you want to see how I can help you come out of the corner.
Sending you confident vibes.
Have you ever had a panic attack?
It’s surprising how hidden you can keep anxiety and panic attacks. You could be suffering terribly and yet people wouldn’t know. This is usually because you will have developed a strategy to avoid panic attacks or hide your anxiety. Quite often suffering in silence leads to depression. And this happens to 1 in 4 people.
You might have gradually stopped going places ‘just in case’ you have a panic attack. You might avoid seeing certain people because they don’t know about your anxiety. You might feel isolated because you’re ‘not normal’. And before you know it you are a prisoner to your anxiety and your life is on hold. And the likelihood is that it won’t go away on it’s own.
Or you might have a job that means you have to give presentations and each time it fills you with dread and affects your sleep in the time running up to it and on the day you just hope to god that you don’t have a panic attack.
Or you might actually be on sick leave from work due to your anxiety…..
A panic attack is your unconscious trying to protect you from perceived risk
Panic attacks happen when the brain thinks a situation is of risk to you and it triggers adrenaline in your body which makes your heart beast faster and your muscles tense. You gasp for more breath and your body makes extra energy and diverts blood to your muscles. This means you might go pale, light headed or shake.
The reason all this happens is built in from caveman days where your body sees a risk , such as a bear (!) and goes into ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ mode. You can either stay and fight the bear or run! The brain doesn’t know the difference between a real risk and what it feels is a risk, so it could just as easily be a work presentation as a bear.
The reason you have anxiety or panic attacks is because at some time your brain has perceived a situation as a risk and taken a ‘picture’ of that and stored it. When a similar situation occurs (or what the brain perceives to be similar) it recalls the picture and creates the same anxiety.
During the heightened anxious state, your digestive system shuts down (because you wouldn’t be eating if you were fighting or flighting) so you might feel sick or have a dry mouth. Your senses go into overdrive so everything seems louder and more frightening which makes it difficult to think straight.
The physical symptoms of a panic attack
With all this going on it’s no wonder you might feel any number of these physical symptoms:
- Rapid breathing or breathlessness
- Chest pains
- Hot or cold flushes
Panic attacks are highly unpleasant and you might live in the fear of one happening to you at any time. Your first one can be a real shock. Quite often after a panic attack you will feel exhausted.
There can be feelings of guilt and shame for anxiety sufferers because you may feel like you are a concern to those around you. It can be hard to admit you have panic attacks and you might often find yourself saying no to social events. This isn’t your fault because fear is keeping you trapped.
Because a panic attack can happen at any time in any place, it’s surprising how many people avoid going out very much at all. The thought of being trapped during a panic attack can be terrifying. You might worry about the embarrassment of having a panic attack in public.
So what CAN you do if you suffer from panic attacks?
Practising breathing techniques can really help your anxiety. During a panic attack you will breath high and fast. The more you practice breathing techniques, the more used to breathing in a calm way your body will be.
Understand that anxiety is not a way of life for you. There are techniques you can use to ease and control it such as this very simple one I share in this video
You can see your doctor and you might be given some counceling or CBT. Now this may well work for some people but what counceling and CBT do is get you to talk about panic attacks repeatedly. What that does is help your brain use that neural pathway (like rewatching a movie or advert time and time again) so you are reminding it how to do a panic attack! Read my blog about the difference between counceling and Hypnotherapy here.
Hypnotherapy is the easiest, simplest way to stop having panic attacks. It should take no more than 2 sessions to change your life. Get back your freedom, your confidence and your social life!
Get in touch for your free consultation today
by emailing or calling/texting 07530 890089
See you soon
The nurture list for busy women
We hear it a lot us busy women. Learn to relax. Take care of you first so you can care for others. Have a nice bubble bath with candles and you will feel brand new.
Now I am not saying that bubble baths aren’t lovely. They can be. But I consider them to be quite lightweight in the true sense of self-nurturing.
Self-nurturing is doing things that feed your body well, interest or relax your mind or connect you socially. Or disconnect you socially! True self-nurturing is doing things that make your eyes light up or ignite or care for your spirit. Also relaxing and seeing worries drift away.
So what is nurturing yourself?
Nurturing yourself might be:
- Putting yourself in a cocoon of blankets and hibernating quietly
- Taking a chunk of time to read
- Making a delicious known or new recipe
- Doing some exercise
- Reading magazines
- Doing something sensual
- Exploring a new hobby
- Taking a walk
- Getting out in nature
- Seeking out a new holistic treatment
- Looking at holiday destinations
- Learning something
- Go to the cinema alone
Some of my Hypnotherapy clients come to be nurtured. They enjoy the relaxing feelings that Hypnotherapy brings. The true sense of inner calm. Almost like a floating escape. The effects of a Hypnotherapy relaxation session can last for days. With 4 sessions you can have the effects for a lifetime as your calm ‘muscle’ will be well and truly flexed, reducing stress and anxiety for good.
Quick review of yesterday’s list:
Yesterday you wrote a list of people who have your six or your desired qualities for your ‘sixer’ to have. Did it surprise you how many people have had or do have your six? Or are you looking forward to getting some sixers in your life?
Your sixth list:
The sixth list you are going to write is your ‘ways to nuture myself’ list. Make a list of all the ways that you can nurture yourself, no matter how small or big. This is a list that you can reference back to when you feel you need some self love and care.
Share your list!
If you are comfortable to, please share your list in the comments. Think of all the great ways we could self nurture if we shared 🙂
See you tomorrow.
Why would a Worthing based Hypnotherapist that usually helps people with stop smoking, anxiety, weight loss, stress and depression blog about lists?
This is a great question 🙂 I use a blend of therapies to help my clients including Hypnotherapy, NLP, tapping, Reiki and life coaching. I work at a deep level with my specialism of depression. I use different techniques to suit each individual because people are so different.
Words have such power and often come from our subconscious. Writing things down and labelling things with words can really help us shift the past and get excited about the future. This means we are healing, growing and goal setting all at the same time 🙂
The power of words never ceases to amaze me. Kind words can change lives, giving words to our thoughts and feelings can help us understand ourselves, changing the words that we thought were true can create new possibilities. Words can connect us to ourselves and to others.
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness?
In October I was at two Mind, Body, Spirit events speaking about Hypnotherapy and delivering a Hypnosis workshop. Both times I Hypnotised about 40 people and help them let some worry go and feel good about themselves. The feedback was good and I met some lovely people and bought a lovely Tibetan singing bowl (which I will write about separately another time).
One question that came up several times was how is Hypnotherapy different to Mindfulness, so I thought it would be good to answer that in full. Hopefully this table will allow you to compare the two therapies.
||Hypnotherapy is delivered by qualified Hypnotherapist who will use language and other techniques to relax your conscious mind and communicate with your unconscious.
||A mindfulness practitioner or audio recording will use language to bring your attention to the present and think less about other things.
|Can you do it yourself
||A good Hypnotherapist will teach you self-hypnosis. I use the example of a Hypnobirth client who has to know how to deeply relax when the need arises!
||Yes, lots of people do it themselves but lots can’t or don’t make the time to.
|Where did it originate
||In the 18th Century, an Austrian named Frank Anton Mezmer was credited with the discovery of hypnosis. Mezmer would hold large healing ceremonies at his estate.
In 1840 a physician named James Braid made hypnosis accessible to the medical community and many other physicians began to incorporate hypnosis into their practice. Dr. James Esdaile was one such physician, he performed over 2500 surgeries in Calcutta, India using hypnosis for anesthesia.
In 1950, both the British and American Medical Associations declared hypnosis to be a useful therapeutic tool.
|Mindfulness has its origins in ancient meditation practices.
It originated in India.
The founder of modern day Mindfulness is Jon Kabat-Zinn who founded the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in the late 1970’s.
|Who offers it
|What does it feel like
||Deeply relaxing in the mind and body with long lasting connection to your ‘calm place’. You will be able to move but you probably won’t want to. You are not asleep and can even have your eyes open during hypnosis.
||Relaxing in the mind and body with connection to your ‘calm place’. You will probably have your eyes closed but are not asleep.
|What are the benefits
Connect to unconscious mind
Make long lasting changes
Own your mental state
Connect to unconscious mind
Be aware of the present
Connection to self
Own your mental state
|How much does it cost
||Between £65 and £100 a session with between 2 and 4 sessions required.
||Between £10 and £25 a session with the average course lasting 6 to 8 sessions.
|Where does it take place?
||In Hypnotherapist’s therapy room or on Skype.
||Widely available and usually in a group in a therapy practice or local hall.
|Is it safe for children?
||Yes, but I would recommend that the Hypnotherapist has special training to deal with children
||Yes, mindfulness has been introduced to many schools with fabulous results
|What it is
||A mental state where the conscious mind is relaxed and the unconscious is present. A relaxing feeling where different solutions can be found to problems and issues to make permanent changes for the better.
||A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.
|What is isn’t
||A mechanism for making pyschological and behavioural changes
|What’s good about it
||Hypnosis accesses the unconscious mind where everything is stored, including our past experiences that affect our behaviour and emotions. If you have negative behaviours or thought patterns they will be because of something stored in your unconscious mind.
||For people looking for a way to relax, it is a superb practice. It can ease stress and give you a better sense of yourself. It also helps with worry as it focuses your mind on the present.
|What’s not good about it
||Some people are worried that Hypnotherapy will make them do something they don’t want to do, reveal secrets or control their mind. None of this is true. Stage Hypnosis is very different to Hypnotherapy.
||It doesn’t make changes in the unconscious to help with unwanted behaviours.
There are mindfulness books, videos, audios and online courses to help you gain the knowledge, skills and techniques to boost your mental wellbeing and make mindfulness part of your overall approach to life.
|What can it help you with?
||Relaxation and finding inner calm
Finding inner calm
Living in the present
|Is it approved?
||Hypnotherapeutic treatment has been approved by the BMA (British Medical Association) as a form of ‘orthodox’ practice (as opposed to complementary or alternative medicine) for over 70 years.
||Widely supported by the BMA and NHS.
|Where can I find out more information?
||Call me on 07530 890089 or email me for a free consultation. We can discuss your issue or requirements. To experience relaxation go to my free relaxing recording here.
||There’s a nice 2 minute video on mindfulness here
So what is it that you are looking for?
I hope the comparison of Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness is useful and gives you an insight into both practices. It might be that you are reading this because you want to manage your own mental state better. I just want you to know that there are lots of ways you can manage your own mental state and it is important for you to do so. You help prevent or help depression or anxiety Yes, really!
I’m currently doing daily videos on how to manage your own mental state over on my Facebook page. It would be lovely to see you there 🙂
Why sign up for my newsletter?
- You can get every new blog sent to you if you sign up here for my newsletter and you will also get a free relaxing recording
- You will be first to hear about special offers and other exciting things
Most people have a thing
As a Hypnotherapist I attract conversations with people about their ‘thing’ or the thing of a friend or family member. And the range of ‘things’ can be varied.
The most common things that people want to talk about are Hypnotherapy for weight loss and giving up smoking. This might be because they are more socially obvious and health risks.
Most people I speak to say they are stressed or would like to be calmer and there really is no better calm than in hypnosis. If you want to try hypnosis for free, you can sign up to my newsletter and receive a free download. I always say if mums who have had hypnosis can be calm when they have the baby then that’s worth everyone having!
Anxiety is a big problem for a lot of people
Next come anxiety, phobias, OCD and panic attacks. These things can sometimes be visible to others but quite often the person with this ‘thing’ will have found strategies to deal with the issue in private. Managing the problem can cause stress itself as it may involve cutting off from people or situations to avoid being seen with the problem. So people with these kind of issues really suffer because they have the issue itself and the issue of managing the issue.
It is estimated that 67% of people in UK have a sleep problem and sleeping is so very important to our wellbeing. If we don’t get enough good sleep we can be grumpy, lack motivation and find it hard to concentrate. It can also cause weight gain as we reach for the sugar for an energy boost. It can also actually mean that you lose years off your life. When we sleep we repair and restore. There are also a couple of theories bouncing around that when we sleep we offload our minds, sort of like a defrag of the brain. So if you are not getting good sleep, under this theory you are carrying more in your mind than you need to.
1 in 3 people suffer from depression at some time in their lives to varying degrees. Often people know something is wrong but they will use a lot of effort hiding it from people and pretending everything is ok. And they might mask the problem with drink, shopping, drugs or whatever but it is still there. A lot of people don’t realise that Hypnotherapy is very effective for treating depression.
Habits can last decades
Many people have a habit such as nail biting, cheek biting, picking, itching, hair pulling, thumb sucking.
And if asked many people would say they would like more confidence in general but at particular times they will want it more than others. For example for an interview or presentation.
Other ‘things’ that people want help with:
- Fear of spiders, wasps, birds, dogs, insects
- Fussy eating
- Bed wetting
- Driving tests
- Social anxiety
- Studying focus
- Fear of flying
- Exam nerves
- Focus for sports
And other other ‘things’ that people ask for Hypnotherapy for help with….
Mobile phone addiction
Remembering where things are hidden
Past life regression
You can get rid of your ‘thing’ quite easily
Some people will continue to put up with their ‘thing’ throughout their lives. Finding work arounds, waiting for it to go away, pretending it doesn’t exist.
Other people will try a number of self-help techniques and this may work.
A lot of people will try several therapies and might find it works for a while or help or maybe even for good. But as most therapies take place in the conscious mind, often they don’t stick and the problem comes back or presents itself in a different way.
And the lucky ones. Well. They realise that life can be more comfortable and enjoyable without the ‘thing’ and many will find that Hypnotherapy is an easy way to get rid of it.
So if you have a ‘thing’ that you think it’s time to get rid of. Please do get in touch and we can have a chat about it and make a plan to set you free 🙂